littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,475
Page 184 of 219
824 in idea barrages
1.) If you’re only knocking over the moneychangers because you think you’d be a slightly better moneychanger, you ARE the problem. 2.) The religious vlogger caught in a huge hypocrisy, his excuse...
823 in idea barrages
1.) If Shaggy from Scooby-Doo were on facebook he’d like, like, everything. 2.) Calling an eggplant “eggplant” is like calling Greenland a “green land”. I guess “rubbery bitter horror-stump” woul...
to the tune of LUMP in song parodies
Trump is a media invention emotionless excepting his need for attention why won’t he just buy the Bahamas or purchase all Brazil and get eaten by piranhas? he’s Trump, he’s Trump, a big o...
822 in idea barrages
1.) I’ve finally realized how much packaged condoms look like the little pips on the top of Legos. Am I the last one to see this? 2.) Pickle is Latin for “ruined cucumber”. 3.) Laverne and Shirle...
821 in idea barrages
1.) I just learned that “Call Me Maybe” and “Friday” were from different people. I… just assumed. 2.) A cooking show hosted by Julianne Moore, just for the fact that it would be Maximum Pun. 3.) ...
820 in idea barrages
1.) Try to convince people you think that women’s fancy shoes are called “strap-ons”. 2.) Some kind of hell-fusion of Huell Howser and Rutger Hauer, rising up to save the day. 3.) When I was a li...
Always, always ALWAYS pretend that anyone wearing camouflage is invisible. “WHERE IS THAT VOICE COMING FROM?” “IS THIS PLACE HAUNTED?” Go into a Cabella’s or a Bass Pro-Shop: “WHY...
You are not catching a wave. You are not riding a wave. You are a wave function collapsing. This is not better or worse but it is different. You aren’t up and humming. ...
Some Supermen are up up and away, some are up up every night, some are up up for the day, some are just up up up tight. Some jump every task in a single bound, some of us...
819 in idea barrages
1.) They don’t call the leader’s spouse in China “First Lady” but she IS the wife of The Party. 2.) Sometimes when I’m writing, I’ll paste in a few paragraphs of a related project, just to get my...
myself doing comedy at a Princess Bride burlesque in life stuff and misc.
I mean, the title’s right there. It’s right on the tin. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
to the tune of YESTERDAY in song parodies
Jesterday floppy things next to my cheekbones lay hope this time the king decides to pay because I’m broke by Jesterday suddenly there’s a knight that’s looking pissed at me I should have m...
818 in idea barrages
1.) A Filipino rapper named Manila Ice is an idea waiting to be free. 2.) Whenever a tinhat starts ranting about Benghazi, pretend you think it’s the catchphrase from that horrible BIG BANG THEOR...
816 in idea barrages
1.) Putting your listicle in the form of a slideshow is your way of saying “I’d rather have ad revenue than have people read this through to the end.” 2.) Shots are just regrets in concentrated l...
815 in idea barrages
1.) Start a redneck women’s fashion line called “Camo Toe” and see how long before someone catches on. 2.) The sad thing for songwriting is there’s not that many rhymes for borscht. Porsche, mayb...
birthday barrage in idea barrages
1.) I like how this Cialis ad suggests you should be constantly ready to have sex in hotel pools or while parasailing. 2.) A regular Pablo Neurotic. 3.) Just because you’re a struggling artist do...
hearts untethered minds let reeling wings unfeathered despite a feeling more than leather more than ceiling the nasty weather chemicals peel...
813 in idea barrages
1.) Evil’s just a word one charlatan uses to undercut another. Selfishness is the real destroyer of worlds. 2.) 85% of Ben Carson’s support in polling is the senile answering phone polls assuming...
tune of MIDNIGHT AT THE OASIS in song parodies
midnight at the Broasis pledge paddle by your bed keg stands filling our faces traces of roofies in cups red Greek letters as a blank check to go fuck shit up let’s spen...
exhausted barrage in idea barrages
1.) Rick Perry can write all his hateful ideas down and shove them up his ass, a Texas book suppository. 2.) Put the “metal” in “metal”. Put the “teak” in “steak”, even. Subvert arbitrary constru...
what you wish for in poetry
there’ll be fliers there’ll be fires there’ll be lies and there’ll be lyres there’ll be guitars drums and guns and bombs and knives and fife fathers daughters son and wife bring an end to your...
dorothy dreams of tornadoes in poetry
her superpower was this the worst futures that were possible she had terrible nightmare about them but when she woke up in a screaming sweat they could no longer happen her nightmares used the...
when I was a child I’d look down at my double-jointed thumb and tell myself “remember” remember that this little thing is a little bit of proof proof that I am special that I can do great thi...
San Francisco Newark in poetry
I’m afraid of the fact that I’m not afraid of flying anymore I know this sounds like willful glib contradiction but it isn’t flying makes me feel like I am goddamned nearly about to die there ...
811 in idea barrages
1.) JK Rowling really missed out on licensing a line of Longbottom mom jeans. 2.) There’s nothing more beautiful than the look of someone looking at you like they think you’re cute. Nothing. 3.) ...
