HoniBunnyCakey ⋅ 22 ⋅
I'm a pan girl with some issues and some dreams. I want to be author someday and live a comfortable life with someone.
Entries 423
Page 6 of 17
Feelings and a crush in Journal 2021
It’s been a lot of voices. A lot of hallucinating. A lot of hating work…he makes me feel better. I’m worried. I hate hate everything. I hate work. I hate being awake. I hate him not understanding...
Baby Steps in Journal 2021
I had those thoughts again. The jealousy. As soon as it happened I felt awful. I guess I’m not really better yet. It was just a retweet of some girl with my friend and I got so angry and jealous...
Desolation in Journal 2021
I’m alone but it’s alright. I have to get better alone. I have to.
Health again in Journal 2021
Didnt get to read comments yet sorry this is a quick entry as I’m exhuasted Usually when I cramp I take four to eight pain pills and rest. Recently I’ve started taking thera flu with everything. ...
Sleepy in Journal 2021
Still no bank account. Still no job. I feel like a failure. I might see a gynecologist for my periods but the thought of even letting a man there brings me to tears. My fear of men has worsen sad...
The truth about "friendz" in Journal 2021
Thank u for the graduation messages. I feel like I found my true friends. About maybe two. Everyone else only sees you as a object. Something you get something from. They aren’t friends. They’re ...
Graduated in Journal 2021
I graduated highschool friday, it was a busy 2 weeks so yesterday I just ate so much and relaxed. Now onto finding a job as I am done with school until college. It all feels so strange, I used to...
Thank u in Journal 2021
The comments have been really nice this time around and I re read them a lot to feel better when I’m done. Thank you so much.
Sleeping in Journal 2021
I wanna sleep forever, no more adult stuff. Just sleep
Not a good start to the day in Journal 2021
I watched lovely bones today. I’ve watched the movie a lot as a kid and now it was just too much. I felt too uncomfortable and I lied saying I had to use the bathroom. Instead I just cried, I’m s...
Rewind in Journal 2021
I just realized I didnt write about the suicide attempt on a live. Its embarrassing honestly. I don’t want to share it at all. I’m so exhausted. Sorry for being gone so long, I’ve just not been ...
Empathy in Journal 2021
I was harassed again. At least I wasnt accused of pedophilia and fetishization. But it had suicide bating this time…thankfully it’s been handled but still hurt. It always hurt, it hurt the first ...
Bug in Journal 2021
John messaged me. I’m on guard. I don’t have time for games. I’m not my past self, I’m not Mari anymore. I have to admit that.
Doesn't matter anymore in Journal 2021
I feel bad but sometimes I wonder if it had been better to let Calin die. Helping him just earned me another betrayal after betrayal. Helping everyone just ruined everything. I think about this a...
Truth. in Journal 2021
I don’t think I was supposed to hear the conversation. My mother’s fiancee was talking about how he thinks I’ll basically drop out or give up and how I can’t take care of myself. And that my mom ...
Two Months Later in Journal 2021
Two months since the breakup. I managed to class pre calculus for the year. I am working on passing my current classes the hardest I can, I have a big test this week so I want to make sure I get ...
Falling apart in Journal 2021
I feel empty and broken aside. I’m so tired of everyone. I’m so tired of everything. I’m so empty, I just want to run away. I want to get away forever. I feel sick and alone. I’m all alone. I’m...
Break in Journal 2021
I pushed them out…
Mmm in Journal 2021
I have only college to look forward to. Relationship to good to be true. I dont want bragging or yelling so no more comments. The days go by as a blur. Have to try again to get my license. Everyt...
Sick in Journal 2021
I spoke to Nelson last night. I’m a horrible friend. I woke up sick.and I just want to die. I want to die so bad.
Fucking Sick in Journal 2021
I’m ill. Not with covid. I feel sick from everything, just everything. I might vomit soon. But anyway, we gotta get serious. Life is short and the way I’m fucking my body up now it’ll be a lot f...
A new year in Journal 2021
I’m about to go to bed. I’ve been bored all day. Lonely, anxious, bored. Sleeps my only escape. My body my mainframe hurts when I eat. No one will date me or live me romantically. I’m so tired. H...
Crush in Journal 2020
I want him to notice me I’ve been busy but today it came back. The feelings, they hurt me. I wonder if there’s just something wrong with me. I wish we could have normal conversations. He didn’t e...
Hurt in Journal 2020
He didnt want the gift. It was a horrible gift anyway who wants a letter for a gift. I cut myself off from any other mental health server owner, after what the few did I dont trust any of the oth...
Yesterday. in Journal 2020
Tiring