❅journal 2019❅

by HoniBunnyCakey

Entries 116

Page 4 of 5

September 01, 2019


I think, he wants us to have sex when we meet up. And idk…I don’t want to, I hide my desired under lots of shame and disgust and hurt and hatred. Over my time gone i tried to…you know but that di...

August 21, 2019


I’m okay

August 10, 2019


I write a blog now for the online community/support group I run. It’s very cutesy and speaks really well to the person I am deep inside. If anyone knows any cute gifs that relate to comfort and m...

August 09, 2019

Return of the ex

So my ex returned, after their ex cheated on them. They where heartbroken, turning my best friend for a relationship which enraged me. They confessed to my best friend, J after apologizing to me ...

August 09, 2019


So much has happened in the past week, no two weeks. One of those things is my ex who broke up with me right before I became active on here, came back right after being broken up with/being rejec...

August 06, 2019


I’m back and I feel kinda okay. I almost had a good entry and update but then I had to go and make myself upset, get self conscious, cry, get my friends worried about me and run off to hide in my...

August 03, 2019


I feel kinda stupid. I got mad at him and basically told him to piss off. But who was I kidding myself, to think id be the first choice for a guy like him. I felt embarrassed and ashamed, I wante...

August 03, 2019

Another goddamn thing

So another one of my online friends likes me. But he has a girlfriend. I was like “what??” The whole time, as he confessed to me before but I was like “I’m sorry we just met” (we had just met lik...

August 02, 2019


My mom yelled at me a few minutes ago. Said she was sick of me going to bed all early and laying around all day and complaining. I don’t mean to. I’m just really tired. But she’s right, I started...

August 01, 2019

Dumb fat WHORE

I’m hiding in the bathroom to write this and cry a bit. I feel like grabbing a cheese grater or something to get my skin off. I’m so gross, nobody can see me without probably thinking how I’m so ...

July 31, 2019


I’m not even good at this journal thing. It’s kinda funny in a sad way. Since I use different sites some entries are misplaced or missing. That’s because I’m ashamed of lots… it’s better to throw...

July 31, 2019


I made them feel dirty…I’m a stupid pig

July 30, 2019


Another day, another day. It was mostly a blur so not to much about there. I have begun to feel kinda lonely but that’s our natural these days. I’m almost done my fic for the writing exchange, w...

July 29, 2019


I’m sorry I can’t respond to comments at the moment I’m so tired. I’ve caused some damage to one of my nostrils, I scratched the inside of up pretty bad. I think some of the skin is gone but hope...

July 28, 2019

Feeling Lost

I feel like I don’t belong here, in this place. In this world. Like something is misshapen and out of place, it just feels wrong to be here.

July 26, 2019

Letter to Esty

I’m sorry you feel like I treated you like shit, that was never my intention. I’m so sorry for what happened and the way I reacted. I should’ve spoken up when I was uncomfortable and not played a...

July 23, 2019

Old Paranioa

Sorry. Another depressing entry. Thanks for all the nice comments they brighten my day. 💖 I’m crying at the moment and cuddling with one of my plushies. I might as well explain why im crying. I w...

July 22, 2019

Cold n tired

I’m buried under blankets currently so writing will be hard, bleh. I’m sleepy but I’m trying to eat 3 meals today so no sleep. Tomorrow I’ll start planning a weight loss schedule while counting t...

July 20, 2019

Sad Things

I keep forgetting to mention, I run a online support group. It’s stressful but i feel at home there, well kinda. Last night i felt like i hated. I was told by a member i was using my anger on the...

Idk..just i guess im not enough for anyone.

July 18, 2019

My new boyfriend ig

R is a funny story, I’ve gotten attached at a record speed of a WEEK. I loose track of time so i thought it had been longer but nope a week. I have no idea if R considers me a girlfriend or not, ...

July 17, 2019

We talked

He contacted on a alt account as i blocked his main one. This is what we talked about.... E:i just wanted to ask why you blocked me on my other account H: I feel So dirty it hurts E: but why did ...

Basically, remember i said Esty is nineteen? Keep it in mind. Shit went bad. Bad. I’m going to put what Esty and I said below. I already had a panic attack over it. I took a hot ass shower due t...

July 16, 2019

I was wrong

It hurts

July 16, 2019


Talked about my self esteem issues today. Besides that I talked to the guy again, let’s call him by a name lol. So I was talking to esty about last night which was cool. He asked me some things a...

Book Description

A journal of my personal entries and thoughts locked up in one, soft booklet.