❅journal 2019❅

by HoniBunnyCakey

Entries 116

Page 3 of 5

September 27, 2019

Who my bf really is

I never really talked about him or how we met here, so i guess i should. I met him when i was twelve and he was thirteen tho i thought he was like twenty something at the time and he liked to por...

September 27, 2019


I’m avoiding him right now, idk. He texted after two days of no contact, no messages, nothing. Afterwards he texted me again but i didn’t see a notification, i just happened to check my dms and s...

September 26, 2019


I don’t man, I don’t know what to say.

September 25, 2019

I feel really bad

I feel really, really bad. So his mom’s been in the hospital (she gets sick a lot) and that’s why he’s been weird. I told him I wanted to take a break and he told me it and that he didn’t want m...

September 24, 2019

Tired 2.0


September 23, 2019

What's been going on

I’ve been living a kinda two live situation. I have a whole fantasy life that just is starting to feel more real to me now, more alive. I can just sink into it and be happy. I have a group of fr...

September 17, 2019

September 17

Hey diary. I’m sad, the usual kinda just exhausted..nothing to write again.

September 15, 2019


That movie, that album is iconic and I shall forever cherish Melanie Martinez. I never really liked her music to the point of worship, only knowing/liking her songs Carousel and Dollhouse. Over t...

September 14, 2019

What's wrong with me

I can’t find any answers and I’m in tears at this point. Genophobia. It makes sense but it also doesn’t. Every article I found says it’s rape or culture pressure that causes it. I just don’t have...

September 12, 2019

It's just me

He’s actively ignoring me now and I feel like crap. Every time, i get my hopes uo and I now I feel stupid I haven’t been able to write in here since I feel so.dumb about my entries I don’t even t...

September 10, 2019

Letter to Alex

Dear Alex, I regret agreeing to ever date you last spring. You seemed so strong, so defiant and so cute I couldn’t help but like you. I should have listened to all of our friends who told me it w...

September 10, 2019

Boyfriend 2.0

So we talked and he revealed he’s been super stressed lately and needs time alone to clear his head. I started to cry a bit, because I just feel useless kinda if I can’t be someone he can to when...

September 10, 2019



September 09, 2019

The end.

Goodnight, hopefully.

September 09, 2019

Medication & Other Things

I don’t know what to do with all the pills. I think your supposed to flush them down the toilet when you don’t take them but have to hide the fact. I’ll do that I think. John said I didn’t have t...

September 09, 2019

Does he even care

It feels like he doesn’t. Like he doesn’t even love me anymore, they’re empty words to me. I can’t even feel anything in my heart anymore. It feels empty and dead now. He won’t text me for nearly...

September 08, 2019

Not special

I feel so dumb, I just left the writing group as soon as I could. I found a review on one of my old works online and got super excited to see i was invited to a online writing group! I haven’t wr...

September 08, 2019


I feel like a horrible person. I want to die so badly I’m even fantasizing about it. I’m terrified of anyone find where I live on here and contacting my family. I’ll be punished and I can’t take ...

September 08, 2019


I’m confused…but I’m okay. I had a dream that felt so real, a dream where I was about to try and overdoes again. I felt so happy in that dream, with two other people. It was like at that moment I...

September 07, 2019


Another day of being tired.

September 06, 2019

Again I guess

The world is kicking me in the gut again, to the point I’m getting anxious and nervous. My boyfriend seems so distant it’s weird. When we went about before I was never this anxious about our rela...

September 06, 2019

Sick Boyfriend

Guess whose boyfriend is going to the doctor because he thinks he has a blood clot in his leg. .-. besides, that I’m doing midly better than before. I watched the Steven universe movie which was ...

September 05, 2019


I’m kinda no I’m definitely worried about my waist. One of the bones in my hip I think is like wierd. I don’t know if I’m losing weight or what but it’s really visible to the point I thought it w...

September 04, 2019

Thank You

Thank you all for your kind comments around these entries, especially the last one. I’m scared to tell anyone that I’m scared of having those urges. Because … It’s just scary, everything is terr...

September 04, 2019


I’m better I guess, my boyfriend and i talked about how sexual things made me uncomfortable and he was fine with it. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders … But then it didn’t. B...

Book Description

A journal of my personal entries and thoughts locked up in one, soft booklet.