Blehgg in ❅journal 2019❅
- Sept. 4, 2019, 8:15 a.m.
- |
- Public
I’m better I guess, my boyfriend and i talked about how sexual things made me uncomfortable and he was fine with it. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders …
But then it didn’t. Because I didn’t tell him everything. I have a very real, deep fear of becoming like my father. My father is a registered sex offender, he’s a pedophile. And that scares me to death that I’ll get those urges when I’m older and I’m already almost an adult!
I know it’s not possible scientifically but every day I worry that I’ll develop the mental illness that causes people to become like that. I’m terrified.
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Park Row Fallout ⋅ September 04, 2019
Your fears are justified because they make a kind of logical sense to you, even if others may not see that "logic." While I totally understand wanting to hide parts of yourself when you're young or just entering into a relationship; I would hope that as you became closer with someone, you could be more open with them and they would be understanding. No guarantees in anything in life; but if someone cares about you, they care about all of you. Your fears, anxieties, and phobias included.