The Shiny Wears Off in Phoenix

  • July 19, 2019, 6:37 p.m.
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Random thought that popped into my head just a few minutes ago. He called me adorable. I get all weird with compliments. I don’t know how to react to them. I get all shy and weird and try to curl into myself, shrink down to a smaller, less-noticeable size.

And so, I’m adorable and suddenly, a little voice in my head says, “The shiny wears off. You know it does. Eventually you won’t be adorable anymore.”

Because that’s the thing, hmm? I’ve been called adorable before. And all the other things he calls me. Beautiful, sexy, incredible, amazing. It’s far from the first time I’ve heard these words used to describe me. Many men have said these things to me.

Because there’s this thing, right? To me, it feels like a normal thing because it’s all that’s ever happened. Boy meets girl, boy wants girl, boy pursues girl, boy catches girl, boy stops telling girl all the nice things he said only to catch her. It’s like… the natural progression of relationships, isn’t it? The cute, the adorable, the shiny? They wear off. They always wear off.

But now… when he says the things… I hear the sincerity in them. They are not manipulations. Manipulations would be unnecessary, anyway. He doesn’t have to win something he already has, eh? And also, when I hear these things, I’m compelled to actually believe them. I have found this new way of seeing myself through another’s eyes and it’s really lovely.

I don’t know, the shiny will probably wear off eventually, anyway. I suppose that’s my fear. One day, he’ll wake up and think, “She’s not so shiny anymore,” and that will be that.

Ignore me, I have a concussion. I can’t put my thoughts in a proper order at the moment.

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