Entries 551
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A moment of Insight
I felt distress.. isolation… abandonment. I felt frustrated and irritated that my problem seemed to be dismissed and those who were supposed to help were wishing I’d just go away and die alread...
How Could I Even
Begin? Well. I could begin with my newfound GUSHING EXCITEMENT that I have committed - yes, committed - to becoming impeccable I feel like this is one of those things that if you know, you kn...
Change Is Two Way
Oh how I love the honeymoon phase. I don’t remember who coined this phase of change, but it is always best when change is confirmed and, the energy for the next cycle is steadily accumulating. ...
Open, Heart
My realization yesterday flows into today That when I was small, I became angry. I became angry because I perceived others taking great pleasure in my torment. It was my decision to shut out aw...
Resistance!
AAAAARRRRRHHHHHGGGGGG I’ve been doing too much! Making boundaries, creating hurdles, armor, obstacles! I want to CONTROL the situation instead of let it FLOW and create harmony through current....
Oh, my.
I feel my heart has been gentled right open and everything is allowed in, and out, and it’s just A LOT. It’s a lot but, there is no tension. No strain. No boundaries. My only security is the...
Quietude
My energy is off the charts. I’m in my feeling body almost all the time. Not that mind and thought doesn’t rear up and take over, but, it’s increasingly obvious, discordant, and easily moved thr...
My Cosmic Tower(s)
I woke after
An odd dream in which I was floating on something over the world, which was spread out before me like an intricately designed look-and-feel exhibit. It was so small, and I floated above it as i...
First Impressions
I felt an awe and spaciousness. A recognition of a Presence which was not a mere presence, but something awesome and not from this place. Something benign and full of a love that transcends spec...
The stars at night
Last night I was drawn to the clear dark sky and, as I stared at Venus, so yellowy-orange and bright, I began to notice at the same time a concentric circular vortex-exactly resembling the subtl...
Grounded
And present I feel really good Like I have caught hold of something really real and for the first time can trust that it is so. I feel recognition in my body. I am present. I believe my own...
Untitled
Presence, Trusting, Spontaneous, Creating is what I am assigned to do, in order to move through and heal my wounds of Dissociation, Abandonment, Futility, and Care blackmailing. Ooh. That l...
What
Do I feel? It’s an odd longing. Mixed in with an inability to demand it. I used to feel bad, or guilt, for wanting to feel better. I felt guilt as a matter of self protection. If I had betray...
Some trees
I’m outside, writing. And I noticed as I look up, the intense aura of these 2 trees across the street. I’m sitting under the blessed pine which is about 3 times the hight of our house and acts l...
My Before & After
pics always seem to happen after I’ve already started my whatever journey I’m doing. It’s not very scientific of me. But, it does seem to be largely a chronic pattern. In which, I spontaneou...
What if
Bombs have been cracking my skill open this week. One after another. Bam. Bam. Bam. Brains on the floor. What if I’m not wrong? For as long as I can recall, I have had a basic and unexamined ...
That 9-9-9 tho
Anything happen on the 9-9-9 for anybody? I believe this time is truly magical. If I didn’t have a direct perception of it, I would certainly know by how hard the system tries to distract peop...
I See Through
And a veil of innocence dissipates. As I began the process of getting our property off of the tax rolls, last year, I had no idea what I was actually doing. I began with anger-outrage, reall...
Indulgence
Is something I’m beginning to come to terms with. One of the things that has always been a thought presence for me is a disdain for emotional indulgence. The more that I feel into this presenc...
The Sun Rises and in the Morning
And my stinking cute tiny wood campstove Although halfway through the morning the sky went all funky again; I can already feel it clearing, I don’t need to test it. Kind of makes me think ...
Up Here is Something Else
The energy is amazing. Aside from the haze that had little bit of a hold and didn’t want to dissipate for a bit, nothing has come up. At all. Which, around even a moderately populated area is p...
The sun gets Funky
As we arrive in West Branch We parked and at at a Flipping Fantastic restaurant called the Tipsy Bear. And afterwards the sky completely cleared up except for a bit to the south. This is fac...
Pics of the Drive North
Just at the airport, the line of opaque haze is more obvious As well as the abrupt end of discrete clouds. A bit further north becomes more dramatic in the difference And yet the sky right...
Some observations
Sky above St Charles headed north Obvious blue blue sky with discrete clouds, and still about halfway up the horizon is where the lines in the sky begin, followed by opaque haze. There is cl...
Book Description
Thoughts, and Whatever else.
