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I just made my roommate clean up after herself before she left for work. How many more business days do you plan on soaking your dishes for? I asked. Where? She asked as she spun around in a cir...

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The coordinator can coordinate that one. Are we good? Or am I reading too much into that comment? My coordinator asked me. He had a hurt look on his face. I felt like a monster. I owned up to ...

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My coordinator wants to move up in the organization. He would take it. He would take the job offer I was given. He wouldn’t be loyal to our program. He did give me his blessing. It pays $3 mor...

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Being offered a promotion was not on my bingo card for today. I got a text from the Assistant Director asking if I had a minute to talk. When she called me, she told me that someone had said I...

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We are doing some land-based learning today for work. For the rest of the week, actually. I don’t know what we have in store today, but I do know a bit about what we are learning throughout the ...

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I finally made it to a community walk. They do them on Sundays now, and I don’t have to bank time, so I can leave in the middle of my shift to go on a Tuesday or Thursday. In case we don’t know,...

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They need to just die. Just off themselves. They contribute nothing to society. These are actual things my roommate says in conversations. She is a very toxic person. She doesn’t see how that la...

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I felt seen yesterday. My heart grew two inches. My coordinator sent a text to our group chat. I’m not coming in, I’m taking a wellness day. I was not in the mood for the abandonment. Last Thu...

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Maybe you should be depressed. Maybe someone who lives a sad little existence like yours should be upset. I wouldn’t be pleased with myself if I lived like you did. I wouldn’t want to be happy. ...

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Yesterday was a good day. I liked it. Yuge fan. There wasn’t anything special about yesterday. I think it is because I had finally recovered from my depression symptoms, so I felt lighter. We ...

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I think the chiro that I met yesterday will be a good fit. She focuses on the nervous system and uses a torque. She also does Somatic work for trauma. This is what that elder was talking about i...

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I decided to open up Credit Karma, and I was shocked to see that my credit score dropped 84 pts. A collections notice was reported this month for an electrical bill worth $1295. That ain’t my bi...

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The world is asleep. I was up before 4 AM. I’ve never felt such peace before. No pain or pleasure. No dread or pressure. The world can wait. Life can wait just that much longer. This time last...

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The government hurt my people. Why would we want to vote for more government? They said point-blank that they wanted us to be dependent on them. That is why they killed the buffalo. Every time w...

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At this point, I think it is just evident that my depression is not a mindset issue but a metabolic one. Monday was a perfect day. I got to spend it alone. I spent it lying in the sun. I took ...

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Pain feels real, does that mean it is honest? Faith feels false, does that mean it is a liar? Existential fatigue. That is today’s mood forecast. I put in so much effort and get no reward. Mayb...

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I’ve hit the real stage of withdrawal, according to ChatGPT. My body is now realizing that it has to produce its own energy. This explains why I am so unhinged. My body can’t even run on fumes, ...

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Coffee makes me a better person. Dear Log: It’s been two weeks without coffee. Feeling homocidal. I was completely unhinged yesterday. I used to say that I would never quit coffee because it m...

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We were setting up for our program today when we noticed that our Assistant Director had taken all of our ceremony supplies. Our Eagle fans and all of our medicines, etc. When the rest of the of...

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Today is going to be long and full of terrors. The only thing I can do right is sleep. That has not been the case since I quit coffee. I’m waking up every three hours to void my bladder. I’m ou...

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My roommate has her first fight on Saturday. I am hoping that she gets her ass handed to her! I’m not bitter, I’m unsweetened. Is basically my personality’s slogan. Today, however, I am just b...

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I figure I should journal it out. I feel deflated and defeated today. Same old, same old. It was a day like today that made me quit coffee. I am being hard on myself, I know it. Nothing has ch...

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Dear Log: Today is day 6 without coffee. There have been zero casualties thus far. Yesterday, the brain fog was at 20%. Moods have stabilized, and there was no crash in my energy. If yesterday w...

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Boring life, boring entry. Today is my third day without coffee. There haven’t been any casualties of whore yet. My roommate is in close proximity so I have been avoiding her. The brain fog sho...

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The wellness world pisses me off. It’s like we got stuck in a loop of just journal your cortisol away! Meanwhile, stress hormones are being pumped out like it’s a full-time job because of sleep ...

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