Manorexic (he/then) ⋅ 39 ⋅
Manorexia - I have a dating disorder
A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there
Entries 1,671
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Reflect Deflect Inflect in Current Events
Vinidictiveness and spite are old friends of mine Anger is where I am in my grieving process. Denial, sadness, and bargaining, I’ve already burned through. We’ll see how I channel this one. Gri...
Betrayed in Current Events
The last several weeks were long and full of terrors. Virginia, a coordinator of a different program, walked out and quit. She was in a meeting with HR and her managers. The meeting was going ...
Words Are Just Breath in Current Events
I feel like I need to write, but I don’t know what to write. Still going through the motions. It was nice to see my boys at work. I said that I wouldn’t like the decisions my coordinator would...
FOBI in Current Events
Alright, so our Youth Manager told me that there is a coordinator position opening up soon for a youth program that has a different age bracket than mine, but he couldn’t tell me more than that....
Sad Face in Current Events
Yesterday, near the end of the afternoon, I started to feel very sad. Heartbroken, even. I was playing a song from my brother’s playlist, and I started to really miss him and my nephews. It took...
Locked and Unloaded in Current Events
I waited all summer for today. I’m back to my regular shifts at work, which gives me a lot of space from my roommate. Today, I am finally completely free of her. I was in ADHD wait mode, countin...
Trippin in Current Events
BC is beautiful. I got back from my holiday in BC yesterday. Campbell River took my breath away. So did Tofino and Long Beach. My brother drove me all over the island. Potholes, waterfalls, an...
Oops... I Did It Again in Current Events
Our Youth Manager just told me that my position will likely be changing soon. I am not being utilized properly with my talents. He told me this after I flagged something in my team. Not to be a...
Next Stage in Current Events
My heart feels heavy today. I was aiming to do a community walk, but I was feeling a little down on my way to work. I am not desensitized to what I witness when I do those walks. I feel grief-...
Car Bomb in Current Events
Woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of my neighbour screaming my name outside my window. Thomas wake up! I heard her say something about a fire. She saw my light turn on. Wake up Ton...
More Glimmers in Current Events
“In Canada, Indigenous boys involved with the justice system are 5 to 7 times more likely to die by suicide. They are 7 times more likely to be victims of homicide. They are overrepresented in o...
Glimmers in Current Events
I dreamt I was back at my old job. I always wake up feeling hopeless. I did like the gig. I miss the people, but I was there for 3 years and never got a full-time position. I think I have some t...
Workshop of Horrors in Current Events
The workshop is over. I feel so much relief. I left with a fan base, again. The kookums, they’re my stans now. They saved the heavy part for last. What to do when a participant dies. I’m not t...
Going Through The Motions in Current Events
Yesterday, we dropped off some meals for Jimmy’s family (the participant in my program who passed away.) His mother doesn’t know what happened either. His grandmother found him Wednesday morning...
Under Destruction in Current Events
I would burn it all down if I could. I was very pointed in my texts with my coordinator yesterday. It’s been a year of carrying everything. Thinking of everything. Doing everything. Coordinati...
Rage Stage in Current Events
I don’t trust my actions right now. Let alone my feelings. I know I am grieving, so I don’t know where anything is coming from, really. For example, this case I am building against my workplace,...
Drift in Current Events
My nervous system is thawing. I can feel what I am feeling. Jimmy keeps crossing my mind. It is only natural. I worked up the nerve to scroll through my phone and look at pictures and recordin...
Rage in Current Events
I’m hurting today. I woke up in the anger stage of grief. I don’t like to show pain or fear, but I can have a dramatic flare. I wore shades in the office because I was not in the mood to look ...
RIP in Current Events
One of the kids in my program passed away this morning. I don’t know what happened, but his mother texted me this afternoon to let us know. He was just 11 years old. I suspect that it was suicid...
Second-Degree Burnout in Current Events
I have second-degree burnout, which is slowly getting worse. Since my hours changed for the summer, I have not had a single day all to myself. That space is oxygen, and I need it to breathe. I...
Reality Check in Current Events
“We know the statistics – that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop out of school; and twenty time...
Just a Chill Guy in Current Events
My camping trip was great. I’m just trying to get back into the swing of things. I was told that I am going to run my coordinator out of a job if I don’t step back. They need him to be account...
Self-Motivation in Current Events
What does it mean to be adult? Being an adult means doing things you don’t want to do. Nobody is coming to do things for us. Nobody is coming to make us put our phones down and go for a walk. ...
Reset in Current Events
I feel like I am starting to get my footing. What’s my existential drama now? ADHD can’t touch the routine part of the brain. My hours changed, now I can’t touch the routine part of my brain e...
FAFO in Current Events
We took our kids north to go tubing down a river. It was beautiful there. The kids were complete kids about it. They had a blast. Last night, I dreamt that I walked out on it and quit my job. In...
