Manorexic (he/then) ⋅ 40 ⋅

Manorexia - I have a dating disorder

A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there

Entries 1,683

Page 10 of 68

August 08, 2024

Thought Less in Current Events

They are just thoughts. I have been telling myself. That is my current mantra. The missing piece that my therapist gave me. Today, my thoughts were racing so hard that it felt like a hole was bur...


August 08, 2024

Mood Poisoning in Current Events

I went to bed angry and then I woke up angry. Then I went to work angry. It was a half day but I still left work angry. I don’t even know what I’m angry at. Maybe it’s andropause. Though my mood...


August 08, 2024

Water Fight in Current Events

It’s been almost a week and I can’t get my stomach to act right. It’s like every bite I swallow feels like a sucker punch. After I quit smoking, I couldn’t handle smoke of any kind. After I quit ...


August 06, 2024

NRG in Current Events

I just caught myself in avoidance mode. I feel like I have to rush to do all the little things so that I can tackle my crisis list after that. I’m going to stop dead in my tracks and just enjoy m...


I still have butterflies for no reason. Well, I suppose there is a reason. I must be beside myself about my new car. While I was napping, I noticed that my stomach was throbbing, internally. I u...


August 04, 2024

Butterflies in Current Events

I’m not sure what I was expecting with this car purchase. I felt let down for no reason last night. Just a scosh and for no reason. Somewhere in my psyche, I must have given it the script that it...


I brought my 2021 Charger home today. I feel like I’m going to be sick. It’s just a lot to take in. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited about it! I didn’t get a chance to play with it because I had ...


August 02, 2024

TGIF in Current Events

The week was long and full of terrors. I’m so glad that it is over. My mother sent me a text this morning. She is trying to burst my bubble. She is raining on my parade. She is… being my mother....


August 01, 2024

Guilty As Charged in Current Events

I just made a $500 deposit to secure the 2021 Dodge Charger. I go in on Saturday to finalize everything. I am pretty excited about it. The search is over. I remembered that I had a status card s...


July 31, 2024

Chill Pill in Current Events

Right after I wrote my entry yesterday I took a dip in the pool to cool off. My anger issues have been under control since I started going to bed at 8 PM. Though, it hasn’t been perfect. While I ...


The shock bled the red from my face. My roommate let her hair down the other day. She stepped in front of me and it was all I could see. Her alopecia has gotten worse. Who cares?! It didn’t do a...


July 30, 2024

Saga Continues in Current Events

Besides the car hunt, how is life? My mother asked me. My life is on hold until further notice. This has been so exhausting. I am spooked by my upcoming shifts. It is a few weeks away but they d...


If my heart could beat it would break my chest. Sure, I have big brain energy but I forget that my heart is even bigger. My relationship with my mother is very precious to me. Her news makes my h...


July 28, 2024

Dumb Ages in Current Events

My mother was diagnosed with COPD. She told me this morning. I haven’t had time to process it but I am feeling devastated. It’s pretty heavy on my heart. I keep getting flashbacks of my childhood...


July 27, 2024

Init Though in Current Events

I can’t remember my dream last night. I just know that it was wild. I think it had to do with parallel universes. It took place in a big apartment building. Each room led somewhere, or something....


July 26, 2024

Weakend in Current Events

This week was long and full of terrors. The aggression was not a problem today. I managed to get the perfect amount of sleep. I did have a moment of weakness and snap at an entire department. It ...


July 26, 2024

Drained in Current Events

Is anger a mood disorder? (That was a rhetorical question) I knew how to manage my anxiety and depression. This anger I experience every morning is getting worse. All I want to do is physically h...


July 24, 2024

Hot Hot Heat in Current Events

My feet are struggling to keep up with me. At work, I hit a point where I could not let my heel touch the ground. It stung. My ankles are constantly aching. I don’t know what stretches I need to ...


July 23, 2024

Search Continues in Current Events

The 2014 Jeep Patriot I took for today’s test drive wasn’t too bad. The drive itself, at least. There were chips in the windshield and when I pointed them out the salesman tried to convince me th...


It’s been such a long week and it is only Monday. Did you know? I’ve never got to choose my own vehicle. On my walk to work this morning, I wondered why this felt like such a heavy decision. The...


I’m coming to my senses but I am still torn about what vehicle to get. I just need a vehicle for transportation. It is not a toy. The cost of the pre-owned Chargers are close to the cost of a bra...


My mother is involving herself in my car search which is menacing but not necessarily a bad thing. She is just looking out for me. She doesn’t want me to make a big financial mistake. I have my h...


My therapist gave me the missing piece. They are just thoughts. I explained that my mood disorders were missing in action for two weeks. Then they returned for two days. It made it easy to spot ...


July 18, 2024

Reconnection in Current Events

Today was long and full of terrors. I was counting down the minutes from the moment I woke up. There were no terrors today, I just wanted today to fly by. I do not have a shift tomorrow so I just...


July 17, 2024

Brain Burn in Current Events

It’s like I have acid reflux in my brain. It’s racing so hard it physically aches. It is becoming unbearable. My jaw also hurts because grinding my teeth is my stim. I want to go back to last wee...


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