Manorexic (he/then) ⋅ 40 ⋅
Manorexia - I have a dating disorder
A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there
Entries 1,683
Page 1 of 68
Silver Linnings in Current Events
Prosebox is the space I go to for venting. I suppose it is a positive thing that I have not been posting so much. I got to look at everything from a safe space over my winter break. My relatio...
Re-enchantment in Current Events
Learning that I had ADHD removed the illusion of control by accident. Before Diagnosis: Every micro-interest felt like a portal. I followed impulses and discovered self. Cycles of hyperfocus fe...
Natty Fatty in Current Events
For the first time in my life, I was told to lose weight. Ok, I could lose some fat. I switched gyms. I go to a wellness centre, and it offers one free health assessment a year. I have nothing...
Good Grief in Current Events
I need to air out my grievances The Youth Mental Health Worker who was hired is working hard to change my program. We share funders, and they are sending her referrals that are all girls. Same ...
Reboot in Current Events
External structure, clear expectations, social accountability, and defined beginning/end. This is what my anchors are made of. ADHD struggles with undefined time, open hours, no consequences, no...
OBCD in Current Events
I feel like I am going through a growth spurt at 40! I’m clumsy, and I don’t know my own strength. I keep breaking things and getting hurt. I had to buy a new coat because I grew out of my last ...
Tick Toc in Current Events
Did I miss self-reflection season? I haven’t written all year. Hell must have frozen over. My city did, at least. My holiday is finally over. It was two weeks of ADHD wait mode, I concluded. I ...
Gym Rat in Current Events
I feel like I’m just crawling out of my grave. Last week, I was bedridden from inflammation. The gut is one thing, but when it hits my brain, I turn into lead. Once I stop moving, I feel unable ...
RXN in Current Events
What happens to a vegan when they eat cheese? I didn’t really know either. I already have a hypersensitive gut. I haven’t had dairy in 9 years. Next year is my 10-year veganniversary. I don’t ca...
Animal in Current Events
They compare ADHD executive dysfunction to putting your hand on a hotplate. Your brain will hesitate as it senses danger. It’s more like jumping out of a plane to skydive. The more you hesitate,...
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps in Current Events
Yeah, it’s Christmas, but my brother just told me that he is buying a house in the fall and is going to make sure there is room for me because he wants me to move there. He wants family there, a...
Cut in Current Events
I hurt myself today to see if I still feel. Sorry for the dramatic opening line, but it fits. I am overwhelmed by all the free time that I have during my two-week holiday. I have ADHD, so if ...
Sleeping At Last in Current Events
My coordinator gave me a hug before we left work yesterday. Well, it’s been a year. He said to me. We start our holidays. I felt melancholy after that, on my drive through a storm to my friend’s...
Check In in Current Events
I don’t know what to say, butI feel like I need to check in. First things first, I’ll give an update on my mother. She’s fine. Doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with her. Must have been anxi...
All Damn Time in Current Events
Once upon a time, my mother waited a whole long weekend to tell us that she got in a bad car accident because she didn’t want to ruin our weekend. I was so pissed. Today, she didn’t plan on tel...
Have Yourself a Merry Little Crisis in Current Events
It wasn’t the content in my life making me miserable; it was the context. I gave 13 years of my life to a job that I hated. I was quite comfortable there, but miserable. I was the Assistant Man...
For The Plot in Current Events
I am so shook. They fired someone yesterday who was awesome, right before Christmas, too. Nothing about it makes sense, but it never does until they are replaced by someone who knows the Executi...
Manorexic in Current Events
It’s a blast from the past, using my old OpenDiary name. I needed to come up with something quick. It’s what I call my dating disorder. I even dug up an ancient selfie from way back when. My M...
Deleted User in Current Events
I reported some of the greatest hits (comments) that my Stan had written over the years, and Prosebox blocked her from the website. Some of my content can be polarising, and I’ve received my fai...
Thought Experiment in Current Events
Oops… I did it again On the weekend, I noticed how my drama and upsets at work were not eating away at me. My week ended pretty decently. Then I got curious about whether I could change that. I...
Redrum in Current Events
All work and no play I can name my patterns, my fears, my overwhelm, my ADHD dysregulation, my burnout, my dissociation under pressure, my avoidance loops, my spiritual coping mechanisms, and m...
NeverLand in Current Events
When I say that my roommate is like a phantom to me, a spectre of the worst version of myself that haunts me, that demon has a name. Puer Aeternus - the eternal boy. Maybe I had some clarity d...
Wits End in Current Events
I’m not the same person. I’m in my Karen era. Maybe this is my toxic male era? I have no patience for anything right now. I keep snapping at people. I woke up enraged about work. Why am I even...
Systems Online in Current Events
Perhaps I needed a reminder that mental illness can be paralytic. I forgot what the weight feels like. Emotions have mass. I can bench press a lot, but I’m not invincible. After that 5-day fast...
Reboot in Current Events
I feel like I’m coming off a 5-day reset, not just a fast. The other night, I had a dream in which an entity was possessing my body. It woke me up, just as it was entering. I was convulsing an...
