Miss Chiffs Manager (One) ⋅ 38 ⋅
Mom! / Biodynamic Urban Farmer / Naturopathic Doctor / Anthroposophist / Mystic / Avid Reader / Writer Extraordinaire / In Pursuit of Moral, Physical, and Intellectual Excellence.
The ending is written into the beginning
Entries 706
Page 26 of 29
This one was quite interesting. Usually I can tease out some sort of allegorical meaning from my dreams, and this one eludes me. I know there is something there, but it seems quite deep. I dream...
Weight... in Pregnancy Journal
Weight gain, weight loss, muscle mass, strength, energy. I’m getting bigger and bigger all the time but the scale hardly moves. I started out this pregnancy at fighting weight (literally), and I...
Guess the Emotion in Journal
It’s a new game I’m playing. Pretty much all the time. When I have the time, anyways. That’s not entirely true. I’m well aware of my ability to DO absolutely anything and everything in order to ...
Now I remember. in Journal
Why I decided that being open and honest and genuine with people is just the worst. People are catty and mean. They are selfish, and self serving. The general public is also just plain ignorant....
Apparently, I need more Fluff. in Journal
My therapist told me to use more fluff- as in emotional reasoning to connect- to dampen my communicative approach. Which is completely frustrating. You don’t reason with emotions, first of all. ...
It's Ironic in Journal
“Spare the rod, spoil the Child,” Ironic that an age old proverb is used to defend a barbaric practice that we’d rather not examine. An oxymoron, really. This proverb must be taken out of context...
On Choice. in Journal
I had an interesting discussion with DH yesterday. Like a hardcore 2.5 hour in depth sharing about our family dynamics. My concerns in the conversation really centered around the stance that h...
always seems to do it’s own thing. They say the eyes are the window to the soul. I don’t know what the face is a window to. But for me at least, it seems to be a window to some inner world with ...
I have a very strong urge to in Pregnancy Journal
tell everyone who sees me that I’m not actually fat, just pregnant. I’m finding it harder to resist. Nowadays, it’s apparently not okay to ask someone if they’re pregnant; but I feel like that j...
So I'm Told... in Journal
I did start therapy. At first I didn’t know exactly why I’d started it, but I’ve quickly realized I have massive emotional dissociation or disconnect. “To put it simply, emotional dissociation i...
Been Awhile in Dreams
My dreams have returned full force over the last few weeks. After enjoying a short sabbatical from them during the first trimester, I am once again steeped in veiled meaning and weirdness. Last ...
Horsing Around in Journal
Rode my boy yesterday - not the OTTB I’m working but MY BOY. lol. I love him so much. Horses are amazing. Yeah, it all sounds so romantic, I’m sure, to someone who’s never experienced the comple...
On Writing in Journal
I think I may have made up my mind to actually write. I’ve been writing since I knew how- about the 3rd grade to be precise. Not journals, or letters, or anything- but long form novels. I’ve nev...
Some Morbid History in Pregnancy Journal
Starting to feel lower pelvic pressure. It’s gettin’ real, peeps. 10 weeks yesterday, and DH’s birthday is TODAY. I didn’t get him anything =/ I kept asking what he wanted and told him if he did...
Diaper Free?! in Pregnancy Journal
OMG I am SO excited to learn about this. So the only really big thing I’m super NOT looking forward to is changing diapers. It’s not like I expect to change NO diapers at all, but like 20 per da...
I Just Want to Sleep in Pregnancy Journal
Worked another 10.5 hours yesterday. I kept busy and it wasn’t too bad, especially after we turned on the AC… The HEAT is really getting to me D: After last weekend, I decided I wouldn’t be caugh...
Eggs and Seafood in Pregnancy Journal
seems like the only things that don’t make me feel weird lately. Not complaining; I love both. And I don’t have 30 hens that I buy soy-free non-gmo feed for nothing lol. Yesterday was horrid. Wi...
Happy 4th.. in Journal
Working 12 hour days, in between hauling calves, chickens and horse sale calls, my car blew a piston. Happy Summer, y’all. It’s hot as balls and I would LOVE to go for a swim, but no car… and D...
Busy, but Have a Moment to Reflect in Pregnancy Journal
I’ll probably get hammered for saying this, but it feels like I’m on the Opposite Bus here. Just about every symptom and sign that everyone says pregnant women suffer from most often are not hap...
Preoccupied in Pregnancy Journal
I can’t get over how beside myself I am. Okay, so it’s not that bad. I’m just about the same as I ever was, but thoughts of that peanut seem to have completely taken over every spare moment. Mos...
I don't Want you to in Dreams
Sometime dreams have really profound meaning or messages for us. Sometimes those meanings or messages are more personal, and sometimes they’re universal. This one seemed deeply personal. I was l...
Feels like I’m going nowhere. Days pass. They turn to weeks, and still I’m stuck. I really relate to this song rn. Not really pimpin, just the tone and feel.
Bogged Down in Journal
It’s Father’s Day. I should try to keep my own thoughts and feelings to myself and just enjoy a nice day with family. But, isn’t that exactly what my parents tried for my entire life to train me...
I really truly love being an equestrian because I truly love horses. We had a simply marvelous ride today. I got a shoulder-in on both reins and we went to the next level of working trot. It was ...
Anger & Resentment in Journal
So idk how y’all are on the woo-woo stuff. Some of it has some grounds in actual physiology and real measureable effects… most of it seems to me like a religious story made up to explain the inex...
