theolor ⋅ 30 ⋅
My Real Name is Tony I gave myself the nickname Theo. Born: January 16th, 1996. I have Bipolar type II disorder with Major Depressive Episodes (MDE) and Borderline Personality Disorder(BPD) (to sum that part up you can also call it "Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder"). I love History, history books, Games, Rock/Hard rock/Punk Rock music, Favorite band is Green Day. Meds: Seroquel(anti-psychotic), , Welbrutin (Anti-Depressant), Lorazepam (Anti-Anxiety), Ambien (Sleep) Hydroxyzine (sleep)
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Only just a dream in MyDarknessLives
Saturday June 25th at: 8:40 PM Going to therapy helped a little bit yesterday. She said I handled the situation very well. alot of the time I find myself feeling really stressed out and I don’t k...
Car accident in MyDarknessLives
Wednesday, June 22nd at: 5:00 PM So this happened yesterday but I didn’t even think about writing it down. I was on the way to Gamestop to meet up with my best friend, I was almost there and was ...
friends day out in MyDarknessLives
Saturday. June 18th 2016 at: 6:30PM Today so far has been a really good day. I decided I wanted to go swimming and I knew my best friend didn’t have to work until 5 so I called him up and asked i...
glass half full in MyDarknessLives
Thursday, June 16th 2016 at 2:50 PM I guess that it’s true that while some people are only in your life for a short period of time, they can leave a lasting impact and even though they are gone n...
How I really see myself in MyDarknessLives
Tuesday, June 14th, 2016 @ 12:20 PM Been meaning to write but everytime I sit down and write for some reason I just leave it alone and then later in the day just exit out of it. Right now all I h...
what a night in MyDarknessLives
Thursday, June 2nd, 2016 at 5:30 AM The universe seems to have a sense of humor, ill start off by saying that. The past few days I went swimming with my friends, got into verbal fights but we alw...
stress and exhausted in MyDarknessLives
Monday, May 23rd, 2016 @ 5:00PM Well, All of may has turned out to be a very bad month for me, severe depression almost everyday and the last few days it got a bit smaller and now I just feel rea...
Companion in MyDarknessLives
I end to have these dreams a lot especially when I feel really lonely, I meet a person in my dreams and we go on adventures and have fun and while I really love the dream and just want to spend e...
some hope in MyDarknessLives
Monday, May 9th, 2016 @ 1:00 AM So I realized that this month is Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness month, I have BPD. It got me to thinking so I looked up videos about people’s experience...
Truth in MyDarknessLives
Thursday, May 5th, 2016 @ 1:10 A.M. They aren’t just scars. They are the demons I fought at 3 a.m. They are my insecurities, my deepest fears, and my lonely nights. They are the insults I hav...
Still hope for humanity? in MyDarknessLives
Thursday April 28th, 2016 So I awoke this morning at 6 to a loud thud followed by my name being yelled. It appears mother got really sick this morning and on the way back from the bathroom, bl...
Nostalgia in MyDarknessLives
Tuesday, April 26th 2016 @ 5:00 PM I went to see that asshole doctor and I told him everything that I was concerned about, all the symptoms of ADHD I have he said is due to my Bipolar Disorder...
someone cares? in MyDarknessLives
Sat, April 23rd 2016, at 2:20 PM I have a friend (let’s call him M) who has gotten in a lot of trouble for something he didn’t do so he ended up getting really emotionally depressed and now that...
I need help in MyDarknessLives
Friday april 22, 2016 at 4:20 PM It seems like round clock now I think about killing myself or death in general, so I decided to call and make an appointment with my doctor guy as soon as possib...
hit hard in MyDarknessLives
Monday April 18th, 2016 at 4:00 PM So after that long break of feeling numb I guess I forgot how bad my depression can really get and it just hit me hard a few days ago and I honestly didn’t know...
lockbox in MyDarknessLives
Monday, APril 11th, 2016 2:20 PM I was unpleasantly woken up really early this morning because mother had to go to the hospital and she has pneumonia again so they admitted her to a room and she...
I can feel it! in MyDarknessLives
Sunday April 10th, at 11:00 PM I know this sounds stupid as before I wished that I could feel nothing all the time but I think my depression finally kicked it as I could feel my heart I felt depr...
Is it dead? in MyDarknessLives
4:40 PM I don’t understand, nothing is right and I cannot predict my mood. For the last week and a half I have felt nothing no emotions except for nothingness and the occasional anger moments fro...
Existing in MyDarknessLives
Wednesday March 30th, 2016 at 2:40PM This is actually the first time in a while that I wrote the entry on this site because usually I wrote it on another diary and copied it over. I would love th...
Ungrateful Brat in MyDarknessLives
Tuesday March 29th, 2016 at 3:15 PM That’s all I really am. My mother does everything and then-some for me and I am just an ungrateful spoiled little brat. I have two sides of me one who doesn’t ...
no title in MyDarknessLives
Thursday, March 24th, 2016 8:00 PM I have been thinking a lot about death and dying again. It just comes up and I started feeling pretty bad and honestly when I die if it is not suicide (don’t wo...
no jinxing myself in MyDarknessLives
March 22nd, 5:50 PM I decided today that I wanted to write in my dairies as it has almost been 10 days and thats too much without an entry so here we go. I have been feeling good the past few day...
Emotionless in MyDarknessLives
March 13th, 2016 4:45 PM Last night I was experimenting with a drug of mine I did research of course, I grounded two pills and snorted them and it didn’t burn as bad as people let on and after a ...
I should have known in MyDarknessLives
March 11th, 2016 12:42AM Of course I decide to write in my journals that I am happy for once and then the day turn completely sour on me and make me feel the worst I have felt. I must be a strong...
happy in MyDarknessLives
8:30 PM For once I can say I had a good day, I just naturally felt happy today-I even went to the gym for once and while I didn’t do much I felt good afterwords and then for most of the day I pla...
