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Page 88 of 218

Ken Griffey and Ken Griffey Junior both played major league baseball. The 2nd Ken was nicknamed “Junior”. We are only eight generations away from Ten Griffey. “People murdering each other ove...

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there are friends and then there are schmends people who you only know from the social media you may know this person friend-of-friend lists but you have never actually met in person that y...

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instead of asking other people to build an arts scene for you build it and do all the maintenance so you can enjoy the fruits of labour get out there and stick your neck out go out there an...

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if you can memorize the new players on your sports teams people you’ll never meet, every year, you totally have the brainpower to remember not to deadname the people you actually know ...

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there’s less money in telling people “don’t listen to anyone as your guru not even me, you gotta find your own path inside of you, by your own math” than “I know everything and if you j...

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In Hollywood, they die young and pretty. They die old and ugly in New York City. All the rest, both in-betweens and more’s the pity. All us rest are in-between and more’s the pity. New York ...

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1.) From the wrong angle, those Amish bonnets look like they’re wearing bras as helmets. 2.) LESS BUSINESS CASUAL, MORE BUSINESS CAUSAL! 3.) LESS SQUAD GOALS, MORE GOAT SQUADS! 4.) Optimism mus...

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“Why do you take your shoes off and perform just in socks?” I’m asked, time to time, I’ll reply, “I’m too germ-phobic to go barefoot.” Which is a very “me” answer, telling technical truth but eli...

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1.) I like my cheese like I like my skateboard parks. Totally shredded. 2.) I realize that “Instant Pot” is the name of a fancy rice cooker that hipsters glommed onto for, like, five minutes but ...

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1.) Instead of asking other people to build an arts scene for you then enjoy the fruits of it, go out there, stick your head out and build one. If you wanna make a scene, you gotta make a scene. ...

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1.) Deconstructing melodrama is just post-maudlinism. 2.) In Soviet Russia, Hustle respects YOU! 3.) Your line of Garbage Pail Kids knock offs about hipsters will be called Trash Fund Kids. 4.)...

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1.) LESS KEANU REEVES MEMES, MORE ALEX WINTER MEMES! 2.) Your movie about a German exchange student who can’t find love will be called LOVE POTION NUMBER NEIN. 3.) If you can memorize the new pl...

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1.) These people do not believe in competence, they only believe in confidence. When you see that as the driving force behind these proto-fascists, the whole game becomes clear. 2.) The theme of ...

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1.) Isn’t a wedding shower just a blender reveal party? 2.) A deepfake of the pope dancing around singing “Oh, me so holy, oh oh, me so holy, oh, me so holy, I bless you long time”. 3.) A televi...

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1.) Two. The answer is two. Exactly two angels can dance on the head of a pin. Any more than two and it would be a line-dance and angels are too cool for line-dancing. 2.) A youtube video putting...

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you are a white light and this life is a prism no, it isn’t a prison this life is a prism a prism temporarily exposing the spectra of all the many things you can be, could be all of the thi...

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if you meet the Buddha on the road take all of his stuff and tell him “I’m just helping you shed your attachments” if you meet the Buddha on the road kill him with kindness complimen...

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we gotta let go of the past but it can’t be for anyone else’s sake we can’t make that choice for them we have let go of the past for our own continuing health our very own s...

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the mandala that intricate sand paintings they make in the far east taking day taking weeks that they destroy upon completion so as to remind us how everything beautiful ends to remind us ho...

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1.) “Where should I put the bust I’m commissioning an artist to sculpt of me?” she thought then paused “Ah, but I’m getting a head of myself…” 2.) No, YOU’RE singing “What’s up, chicken butt, who...

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1.) Youtube has a cloning operation growing an army of attractive-but-not-intimidatingly-so redheads to host all future videos about tabletop gaming, deep in a fallout shelter beneath a suburb of...

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1.) If you wouldn’t be sued into oblivion for it “Cap’n Crunch And Tenille” would be the greatest name for a band of all time, which only proves that our intellectual property laws need to be ove...

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1.) We must let go of the past but it can’t be for anyone else’s sake, since we can’t make that choice for them. We gotta let go of the past for our own better health, no more and no less, and mo...

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1.) My biggest flaw as an improv comedian is hating silence. I sometimes roll over people with my ideas, not out of ego happily at least, but out of fear of my team feeling bad, I don’t want my t...

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1.) You’re a white light, this life is a prism, temporarily exposing the spectrum of all the things you can be, could be, all the things that you are. Some day the gem will be pulled away & y...

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