Ms. Fury

Entries 109

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I am so disconnected from my people here. I feel like I will never catch up. And I never will if I don’t actually read your posts. It annoys me, the stupid cycle of - thing exists - thing makes m...


June 02, 2024

I don't want to in Craftwork

I’m here because my mood is telling me to write, but my brain is being uncooperative. I opened this page, saw I had a FB notification, went to check it, fiddled around on FB, remembered I was sup...


May 30, 2024

life resumes in Each Day

M is home. He got home last Friday. The difference in both of us since his return is actually mind boggling. The anger and apathy that plagued his texts is basically gone. The low feelings and p...


May 20, 2024

still here in Each Day

My feelings about M’s absence improve greatly when we’re able to talk on the phone. I hate the phone. But I also can’t infer M’s state of mind from texts, especially when they’re always angry ran...


April 16, 2024

emotionally compromised in Each Day

I have been mainlining Star Trek. Before M left we watched all of the star trek movies. Well, “all”, up until 2009 (which is where the title reference comes from. Since he left I’ve been rewatc...


The short week was good for my brain. But I’m having a hard time not feeling generally miserable without M. On Wednesday I got a call from the optometrist that my glasses were ready! I settled o...


I haven’t exactly been avoiding writing, more like I’ve been avoiding thinking. M left Wednesday morning, and we’ve been texting pretty steady since then. He did his test on Thursday, and “It’s d...


Been doing some grade A Adulting lately, and feeling pretty good about things. But M leaves in 8h and I’m going to miss the shit out of him. A week ago I finally saw an optometrist. He did all ...


March 17, 2024

figuring myself out in Each Day

Stolen. I really wanted to write jokes for most of these, but I erased them and really tried to be earnest. This is pie in the sky stuff. Fantasy self that I’d love to make a reality. Personal —...


This is 100% for me, feel free to not pay attention to my minimalism readings. recognise benefits - as you declutter, pay attention to the good thoughts and feelings that come from it. “It’s eas...


February 26, 2024

More tears in Each Day

I spent the whole day in such a rage… by now I’m just exhausted. Which is letting the sad creep in. Somewhere in the transition intrusive thoughts joined the chat. It’s nice that I got a chance t...


February 22, 2024

Tina says I'm amazing in Each Day

She also says it’s not a compliment, as though it’s an objective statement. She was basically saying that it’s amazing that I manage to keep perspective despite the extreme emotional response I h...


February 19, 2024

I've been meaning to in Each Day

As usual either life is humming along and I don’t think about writing, or I think about writing but haven’t figured out what to say yet. I try to write after therapy because that seems to genera...


February 04, 2024

living for the weekend in Each Day

This week was rough. M and I took Monday off, but then there was a snow storm and it was a snow day anyway. Tuesday morning I went to PT, and during one of the circuits I felt something in my rig...


So not a single person commented on my forum post… and I did ok not letting that eat away at me. But I also came to another realisation. There’s a good chance that the reason I’m getting a whole ...


January 24, 2024

emothings in Each Day

I came here to write about this, but then I ended up posting it elsewhere first. I’m editing it because journal context is not the same as forum context. So I’ve been working with Tina on emotio...


January 21, 2024

perfect weekend in Each Day

Last week was decent. I took on cleaning out my sections group email, which had 2,800 unsorted emails in the inbox. Srsly. That was Monday, by Friday there was 1,700. M and I had lunch together i...


January 16, 2024

Uncluttered in Each Day

I’m feeling really anxious. The only thing I can think of that would trigger this is the meeting M and I had with our financial planner, “Katia”. We talked for two hours about where we are financ...


January 15, 2024

1,957 days, FINALLY in Each Day

Because I’m feeling pedantic: Today, finally, after 1,957 days, I was finally promoted to Captain. It should have taken me 1,096 days. That’s 861 days late, also expressed as 2.36 years late. I ...


Today my new boss told me my promotion ceremony will be on Monday. So I was pretty stoked and smiley this morning. Then my old boss got to work, took one look at the smile on my face and said, “O...


January 08, 2024

Resolutions 2024 in Each Day

My resolutions for the last few years have been basically the same. Read more, ride more, move more, knit more, be social more. While I think those are still important goals to set, and I still ...


January 02, 2024

Annual Survey 2023 in Each Day

I have been doing this same survey since 2014, but since I jumped journals I don’t have the full archive anymore. Here’s 2022’s. What did you do in 2023 that you’d never done before? - Be the ca...


December 20, 2023

Fuck yeah!! in Each Day

I did it! Of course we’re “working from home” tomorrow because of freezing rain, and Friday is the first day of holidays, so my promotion is going to have to wait. That’s ok. It’s done. I am so r...


December 16, 2023

FFS in Each Day

I failed my fitness test on Thursday. I fucked up the process on the first activity, twice, and was 0.6 seconds over the allotted time. The invigilator told me to “not worry about the process”, ...


December 13, 2023

the hardest in Each Day

TW: pet death Today was awful. The end. … I wish. M and I stewed until noon. I ran into work to deliver my chili for the cookoff. He cleaned. I stared at the wall. M cried, I couldn’t. The ve...


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