RSD and another great weekend. in Each Day

  • Jan. 29, 2024, 8:38 p.m.
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So not a single person commented on my forum post… and I did ok not letting that eat away at me. But I also came to another realisation. There’s a good chance that the reason I’m getting a whole lot of non-committal from my therapist is because of all the ways I appear to have other disorders (BorderlinePD, BipolarPD, HistrionicPD) is because of trauma, conditioning and masking. So maybe all the crap in my head in the last entry is trauma, and not autism.

This week was Bell Let’s Talk day, and a subsequent “Mental Health Day” on Friday where we got together to listen to how amazing my employer is about taking care of our mental health. I lasted 1.5h before I saw Old Boss, told him I was having problems with the hypocrisy, and went back to work. I stopped by to see M first, and we chatted for a bit before I went back to my office. I spent the day sorting emails, listening to ambient sounds, and at lunch I ducked out to pick up groceries for the weekend, where I got rear ended at a an intersection (low speed). I was already so pissy from the morning when I got rear ended I yelled, “YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME” to no one in particular. I put on my hazards, got out, the driver made placating/apologetic hand gestures at me, and when I looked at my bumper, there didn’t appear to be a mark at all. I got back in my car and left.
I raged my way around the grocery store, until I watched the cashier, a young person, talking enthusiastically to a middle aged woman and her daughter about the (discount Christmas) candy they were buying. She played along until he suggested some banana flavoured chocolate, and she got such a sour face on, and the kid didn’t let up, it made me laugh to myself. I chatted amicably when it was my turn, and I went back to work with a smile on my face.
Of course, I wanted to duck out early, and right as I left the office I walked SMACK into my boss and HIS boss. So much for getting out quietly.

This weekend was a lot of fussing with the house, playing video games and watching shows/movies (and banging). The Uncluttered course is going ok so far. I’m borrowing motivation from the posts on the FB group, and doing the weekly assignments as best as I can without M’s full buy-in. He’s happy to do his bedroom and the basement, but there’s more than just that to be done in the house. I’m taking wins wherever I can.
So far I have:
- Sorted the hall closet, put things in baskets, and hung the stick vac holder so it has a place to live
- Cleaned out the drawers to M’s grandparents secretary (I’d like to refinish it this summer)
- Pared down and dusted the Cat Room closet (my surplus uniform pieces and some seasonal items)
- Went through my makeup items (Mandy gave Red and I a whole bunch of makeup she didn’t want, so I replaced what I had and threw out anything duplicate)
- Got garbage out of the basement, the broken A/C unit out of the upstairs
- Took 1.5 bags of clothes to the SPCA thrift store
- Emptied my jewellery cabinet (did not purge the contents, yet), posted it to Freecycle, and it’s getting picked up tomorrow morning
- I did a bunch of plant care, since some of the plants will be getting a new home this week
- Did laundry

This week’s assignment is car, living room, and 1 other shared space. Tomorrow I’m going to clean out my car! The living room is already quite spare, but there’s some stuff that could be relocated and the space could use a dust. Then I’m going to work on the dining room, since it’s all plants and junk, almost all mine.
It feels good to see progress.

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