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I still feel bad about last night, I’m hoping I can cheer myself up by eating some food. Though the thought of doing so makes me feel sick to my stomach and mouth taste funny. I don’t know, I’ve ...

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I ruined our special night… So Isaac had some free time and I messed up. So bad. I touched myself without his permission. I came without permission… I feel so…so dissapointed in myself. I wanted ...

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I need someone to punch me or fuck me or something. I’m upset and that seems like the only thing that will help. I want to do something to give myself pain. I am going to try and finish writing s...

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Guess who forgot her granola bars~ So I have to wait till when I get home to eat, yes I’m extremely upset about it still. And I forgot my fucking PHONE charger so this phone better not die on me....

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ISSAC IS BACK. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. Okay so like he’s back and I’m so so happy. I almost started crying I was smiling so fucking hard I couldn’t contain myself. He’s back and I feel like a piece...

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Yesterday Isaac came back and talked to me for a hour or two, it was nice. He gave me permission to I guess explore while he’s gone sexually which kinda shocked me. I saw it as cheating, but he s...

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Good evening Isaac! How have you been cutie? I’ve been good, I know it’s a shocker. School was good though I was super sick Sunday night. Puked all over the place and stayed home the next day. I…...

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everything is messy. I can’t think straight. I feel like I’m dying. Everything hurts so bad I want to be loved but Isaac’s gone. He’s never coming back. No one ever comes back…I just want him to ...

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December 14th, Saturday, 2019 Hey Isaac today was a crazy day. Mom and I went shopping with my brother. I had coffee chocolate by lindor, really yummy in the end. Oh! I washed my hair finally and...

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I have to forget about it. Never mention.it again, I’m skipping threw the cracks and people see you as weak that way.

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I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m lying, a part of me is hoping I’m lying. I don’t want to be a victim of online sexual assault. I don’t want it. I want to cry and roll up into a ball. My...

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December 10th, Tuesday, 2019 It’s rainy outside today Isaac, a real wet feel in the air. I woke up today not ready for school and not ready to start another day of unless aching. I made sure to e...

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i don’t know when I started to mix healthy love with hurting. It’s something that’s just happened. Sometimes I find myself wanting to beg my boyfriend to punish me, to make me cry amd suffer beca...

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i started starving myself because I just wanted someone to finally be proud of me and love me.

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I decided to ignore all my messages notifs basically, I need time to think about stuff. I’ve been thinking about telling my mom about my disorder, but I felt sick. My mother didn’t react to twel...

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I don’t know what to do. I want to stop losing weight because I do t want to die. But my thoughts keep going back to everything, to all the work I’ve put in. I told people I’d stop but immediatel...

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I’ve been trying all day to identify what caused my obsession to start but I just can’t. Rejection is plausible but also my home life is. But everything seems to make me feel fat and bloated and ...

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I guess it is that. I’ve started to feel my hip bones before falling asleep, the curve and simple groove of them all. It’s nice to feel them, to poke and prod. But they feel fuller and it makes ...

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I’m upset. My diary is gone. Its all gone.

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So i dont think I ever fully explained the weight thing with me. I’d say in second grade i would skip breakfast during the summer like a week long, because id just eat brunch. In eigth grade that...

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Dear diary, I’ve been alone all day.

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I read all of your comments and ill take the advice you guys gave me for the long run (hopefully). Does anyone else watch hiding in my room? I don’t watch it for trolling or memes but im genuine...

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Note: i know i do this a lot but this relationship will not fail, I’m literally 100% obsessed with this guy, we’re both possessive, etc it works. If this relationship where to ever fail…I’d lose ...

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hi diary today is a day. im tired and idk…upset. im gonna go try to hallucinate or something.

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I feel so horrible for not texting her. The night before she overdosed we where supoosed to text and call, she really wanted to talk and i just didn’t. And now that she’s back from the hospital ...

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