Entries 3,428
Page 5 of 138
m24
A minotaur version of Skeletor called SKELETAUR. Why call it a “honey bun” when you can call it “B-Roll”? The Steamboat Willie public domain rom-com called DREAMBOAT WILLIE. Why ...
m22
Why say “sitting pillow” when you can say “stool softener”? A future where “flipping” is the actual F-word, because everyone realized how cynically dehumanizing real estate flipping was ...
m20
A Spanish Irish fusion restaurant called Tapas The Morning. There is comedy in pretending you confuse the words “balaclava” “baklava” and “balalaika” but it’s admittedly a niche. A s...
m18
There is not a border crisis, there is not an immigration crisis, there is a humanitarian crisis and a crisis of lack of empathy. There are people suffering and there is our moral imperative...
m16
“Did you ever hear the tale of Doc Plagueis The Mad? They say he could use the Force to control… time itself…” I just saw the grossest sounding phrase in the history of the language in a...
prompt: shady, title: barnum and bail-outs
It wasn’t always like this, y’know. Shysters trying to sell you horse-dewormer for a respiratory infection or procedurally-generated pictures of Christ with sixteen fingers and four elbows and t...
m14
A parody of “American Woman” about AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON. You don’t “have Taco Bell for dinner”. You might eat it. You may well consume it. Your body will absorb it and attempt ...
m12
COBRA’s Weather Dominator implies the existence of G.I. JOE’s Weather Submissive. She loved Kermit so much, when he was in physical need, even if she had the worst headache in the world,...
m10
You could easily start calling Easter “Furry Halloween”. It’d be funny! The problem is, you might give them the idea to take the idea seriously. The problem with good satire is it’s so close...
m8
A next-gen video game about THE FACTS OF LIFE could involve a 3-D Tootie. The most scientifically perfect strap-on and it’s called The Bigs-Hoseon. All you need for an “angry” review...
m6
Shittin’ in the mornin’ sun / I’ll be shittin’ when the evenin’ comes / Watching the shits roll in / Then I watch ‘em roll away again, yeah / I’m shittin’ on the dock of the bay / Watchin’ t...
m4
Both extremes of I.P. discourse kill culture as we know it & no one wants solutions that actually work. If you let pseudo-AI run rampant, no one makes anything new simple there’s no cash...
m2
They’ve had so many tie-ins at McDonalds over the years but we’ve never gotten the “Egg McMuppet” and that’s just a shame. The Sausage Egg McMuppet could be MADE out of the pig woman! No...
a30
Wendy’s had the lock on “eating barely-acceptable chili in a solarium” market and they just threw it away. When you have a segment cornered, you gotta hold onto it for dear life, but no. The...
a28
There is something deeply unnerving about the idea of being treated in a hospital named after a chain of casinos. Like, you’re just cosmically asking for it. If you look north and sudden...
a26
If you want to be accepted as a tree hugger, you need to immerse yourself in poplar culture. If Kenny Loggins last word aren’t “im.. all right… don’t nobody… worry bout me…” he will have...
a24
One-hundred years of Disney, built on the exploitation of the business unsaavy Ub Iwerks, who did most of the work while Walt took the money and the credit. If Steamboat Willie goes back to ...
a22
No orgy’s feast is complete without at least one braisin’ strumpet. A Dire Straits parody about Bart Simpson, David and Dennis the Menace called “Sultans of Sling”. A card game of ta...
easter barrage
Imprisoned for his many serious crimes, Paul Blart tries to escape his prison by evading the warden Paul Rudd, who turns out to act for the money but his real passion is prison wardening and...
a20
Batman can create fresh soup with a single word via the power of the butlerguy effect. A soundbath but only of Goofy’s sub-linguistic utterances. No words but lots of Goofy’s sounds. ...
a18
I mean, one good thing we can say about the changing of years is that every passing year involves less checks written with the wrong year because personal checks are slowly disappearing. ...
a16
In Emo Mario Brothers, Mario jumps on Gloombas. The merger of the XFL and USFL needs to go into anti-trust court as they are creating a monopoly on “names for football teams that sound l...
a14
Bad boys, good guys, I’m the slightly-mischievous man. If I’m quiet, I’m either actually comfortable or I’m dead. If you showed someone from before COVID all the pictures on social ...
a12
A marijuana product review show called “Highly Recommended”. In hell, the only thing you can eat is Tarnation Instant Breakfast. A firework that shoots noodles cooked by the flames c...
a10
It is weird to think of, but there must have been some first person to make a pickle, even if there were many “inventions” of them in different cultures. It feels like they always existed...
Book Description
originally, I went to college to be a comedy writer
the urge to still generate short form ideas remains
I collect, once or twice a day, my one-liner jokes
and my germs of ideas that I litter on social media
into little collections I call “barrages”
and then I put them here
sometimes
