6/26/05 in Victim of Society

So Wednesday night I got super wasted at some guy Danny's house with Craig and all his friends and andrea. And if you know me, when I get drunk I get emotional..especially around Craig cuz just all of my feelings come out and stuff. Well apparently I got out of control and did a bunch of embarrasing shit i dont even know what all i did or want to know. All I know is his ex girlfriend was there and wanted to kick my ass. I seriously am so confused about Craig right now it sucks. Like one day hes like oo lets fuck and the next day hes like ignoring me and blablabla. I cant take it! So anyways I ended up pissing everyone off and I'm never allowed over there again. So this whole week I've been all depressed about that, Craig stopped talking to me. It's just like one thing after another. First I lose matt now craig and so all week I just wanted to bury myself in a hole and die. Then after the party thingy Kyle picks me up and takes me to some back alley way and takes advantage of me...wow big suprise. I mean he didnt fuck me or ne thing but Im sure he would have since he kept grabbing my face and making out with me and telling me how much he wanted to go down on me and I fucking felt like shit already that just made everything ten times worse especially since Kyles my manager. So finally he stops trying to do shit to me and drops me off at my house and I pass out and my mom finds me and asks wtf im doing coming home drunk and yaddayaddayadda. Work has been so awkward now I think I should quit. Lets see, Justin tried to kill me, Matt fucked me over, Craig fucked me over, Eddie tried to do shit with me, Kyle DID do shit to me.....its like fuck whose next? Anyways I think me and Matt are ok now. I took like 5 somas last nite and was texting him and stuff. I went to some other party with col jose andrea and alexis and craig was there TOTALLYdrunk off his ass. Which made me feel better knowing he was making a complete ass out of himself. And he actually came up and hugged me. I was standing with Alexis and he said boy put ur arm around that girl and alexis did. then alexis was like dude i still owe u a 12 pack and craig was like no all iwant u to do is treat that girl nice and dont hurt her and stuff. and the whole time i was thinking man craig i just want u though :-( Alexis is really cool but I am so stuck on craig rite now its rediculous.craig passed out and his stupid ex gf was there and all tucking him in and shit i just felt like socking her in theface she is seriously SUCH a bitch i hate her and i just wanna be like BITCH GET OVER HIM he hates u. but watever. shes prettier then me ne waz. but shes a fucking BITCH!!! AUGHGAJHKLGJ ok so yea last nite i was on the verge of suicide. thank jebus andrea came and picked me up with all them and saved me! for now ill just take my somas and be happy