Well yesterday at work Matt is all being super nice to me and I was like wtf usually he just says whats up and is on his way. So then he goes "yeah my wife is outta town this weekend we should hang out" i was like OH MAN here we go again. But I'm dumb enough to let him do this to me all over again. And even a lil part of me likes it. I duno i just feel like i can somehow convince him to break up with his girlfriend. Not for me but to be single. I think everyone is just telling him "matt u have this great girl miki who loves u why would u want to give her up" but i think he needs ppl telling him the benefits of being single..and thats where i come in . But yeah he was talking about going to a rave sometime this weekend. Idk tonite ..tomorrow nite....All I know is i got some goods ready to be taken hehe.
Well my mom is still ignoring me and being a stupid selfish bitch. I just feel like wtf if im not even wanted here why am i here? i can be in so many other places and im stuck at this place, not even wanted, excluding myself from everything and practically living in my room. And my dad has been on my case for the stupidest shit lately like..."dont go out the side gate"...."hang the bath mat on the rack" ....yadda yadda yadda. I just wish they would all leave me alone and eventually forget about me so i can leave and never come back And on top of it all I HATE LIVING WITH THESE FUCKING DOGS! I SWEAR THEY BARK LIKE 24/7!! UGHHHH
Last night I went to Open Mic Night with Andrea and we saw like a bunch of people there that we knew like Harmony, Lisa, Clay, Erika, Brandon, Nickolodean guy haha, and this guy Jared that used to work at CPK. I didnt really socialize with anyone though-as always...I just sat in this chair and read this cool physcology book. After we left I was super tired and came back home and saw Chris sent me this message "yeah we might have to have sex soon" I just laughed and then he told me his ex gf fucked some guy while they were on a break and I was like oh so u just want to use me and he was like no i can find some other girl and i was just like do what u want.....Then for some reason I went on this cleaning splurge and felt like cleaning my whole room..so I did and the whole time I was just yelling saying things like "why am i not good enough to be a guys gf why do they just want to fuck me to get back at their ex's, or use me while their gfs are out of town, or make me iniciate shit, or take me to back alleys and make me make out with them and try to go down on me WHILE I'M DRUNK AND CRYING" ugh so yea after that i still couldnt sleep and did my homework till like 2 in the morning. Then I fell asleep but it felt like I woke up every 5 minutes last night. one of the worst nights of sleep in along time..
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