Entries 331
Page 9 of 14
A Winter Of Springs
I find it easy to love people and easy to be loyal. Not to anyone, of course, but once my mind makes a decision that someone merits dedication the rest of the unconscious levers follow suit witho...
I've got some real estate here in my mind
I used to listen to this song in my room at night when I was 15 years old, and dream about all the potential lives I could lead. The world was splendid then, everything looked up. I thought abou...
February Sun
What a beautiful Valentines Day. The glorious sun returns. I’m getting used to these warmer winters…though they are causing me to enjoy work maybe a bit too much for one’s own good. I have never ...
Sunday Morning Coming Down
I never write in the mornings, though it should be when I do. Instead I usually write after I should have been sleeping for an hour or two, when my brain is as mushy and disassociate as it can be...
The Place That Cannot Be
I’ve been thinking about my first adult job lately. The one I that I acquired in high school, that paid for my first apartment afterwards as well as two full years of moonlighting college courses...
Winter Deepens
What’s important? Where do we go from here? I always had this sense since I was young that the more I thought about things and learned about things the more…horrifying and terriffic the aggregat...
Straight Chillin
Winter, I must say, has been doing me right this year. Mild temperatures, but plenty of that clean freeze blanket covering the bulk of the month. Just the right amount of festive blizzards scatte...
Gently Down The Stream
You ever get smacked in the brain with the sudden clarity of a memory not recalled in years? It happened to me sharply the other day (and also to lesser degrees on the regular), of a particular C...
The Cold Of The Capricorn
These two weeks between new years and my birthday are hard on me. I think I take it out on people around, so I steer clear of folks I know. Makes it harder. It’s tough because the holidays are a ...
The 1878 Christmas Of 2022
I believe that happiness is mostly synthetic, self-generated based on at least partially conscious decisions, but random chance of course plays an unavoidable role- and I’d like to acknowledge ho...
Stupid People
Some old writer philosopher in the 70s, likely jokingly, penned an article to a concept he had cooked up. According to his understanding of the world, there were a number of immutable rules regar...
The Face
You know, I don’t think people like being appreciated for who they “really are” (whoever that is). I think people like being appreciated for the fake persona they put on for the world, even if it...
God Is Never Far Away
“My kill hand tattooed EVIL across his brother’s fist that filthy five, they did nothing to challenge or resist.” I’ve been trying to get my head around the idea that consciousness and individua...
Cozy Fever Time
I’m not sure there’s anything more comforting than the shiny picture on the packet of “sweet dreams” tea. Summer-dusk blue with winking stars and a crescent storybook moon- Sweet Dreams, a calmi...
Come Now Dayspring
Thinking about letting myself get into the christmas spirit tomorrow. Going to go get a tree and get some decorations up. I could have gone without Christmas this year, as I’m not really in the ...
Unity and Division
Though not a pariah by any stretch, there’s never been a time or place that I’ve fit in. Prior to puberty, perhaps, but nowhere in my adult life have I felt a strong sense of belonging with any p...
Narrative
I heard that humans rationalize the world, and their place in it, with narratives. We imagine the greater direction of things as an unfolding story, and separately we imagine our lives as they p...
Politics at the Dinner Table
Made it through Thanksgiving dinner without any political disputes between family members. As we’ve become more ideologically mixed that kind of talk has thankfully died out. My voting habits mig...
Winter Stars
I don’t believe in astrology, but I’ll be fucked if I didn’t feel the moon pull me right outside and down the sidewalk tonight. I had just returned from the grocer and had intended on settling in...
The Cowboy Returns
Something very precious washed over me the other day. A sentiment. A realization of a kind. A feeling. Years now of loss and dwelling on loss. A feeling of being locked out of a world I used to k...
Porch Swap Complete
Only took me a year. The hardest part was getting all of the foundation rot cut out and replaced. On to the next.
The Blizzard
When I close my eyes I smell winter. This song reminds me of days passed: I used to go out at night when I was a kid exploring the new alien neighborhood the snow bestowed upon my old one. I rem...
Warm November Rain
What a beautiful evening. I walked to the store after dark in the rain. It was warm so I wore shorts with a raincoat and umbrella. I don’t have much of a sense of smell any longer, but I could st...
Unstuck in time
I feel like I’m on a tram that is flying along at about 3 miles per hour. Motionless and sedated. Gazing generally forward with milky eyes. I think it’s time I stopped smoking reefer every minute...
What makes you proud to be human?
I used to have a lot of pride in humanity and in being human, but it’s been a long while since I have felt it for some reason. Prior to Covid maybe, or 9/11. It’s a hard feeling to map, chronolog...
