anticlimatic ⋅ 40

Fool and contradiction.

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Thinking about letting myself get into the christmas spirit tomorrow. Going to go get a tree and get some decorations up. I could have gone without Christmas this year, as I’m not really in the ...


Though not a pariah by any stretch, there’s never been a time or place that I’ve fit in. Prior to puberty, perhaps, but nowhere in my adult life have I felt a strong sense of belonging with any p...


6 days ago

Narrative in anticlimatic

I heard that humans rationalize the world, and their place in it, with narratives. We imagine the greater direction of things as an unfolding story, and separately we imagine our lives as they p...


Made it through Thanksgiving dinner without any political disputes between family members. As we’ve become more ideologically mixed that kind of talk has thankfully died out. My voting habits mig...


November 23, 2022

Winter Stars in anticlimatic

I don’t believe in astrology, but I’ll be fucked if I didn’t feel the moon pull me right outside and down the sidewalk tonight. I had just returned from the grocer and had intended on settling in...


November 15, 2022

The Cowboy Returns in anticlimatic

Something very precious washed over me the other day. A sentiment. A realization of a kind. A feeling. Years now of loss and dwelling on loss. A feeling of being locked out of a world I used to k...


November 10, 2022

Porch Swap Complete in anticlimatic

Only took me a year. The hardest part was getting all of the foundation rot cut out and replaced. On to the next.


November 06, 2022

The Blizzard in anticlimatic

When I close my eyes I smell winter. This song reminds me of days passed: I used to go out at night when I was a kid exploring the new alien neighborhood the snow bestowed upon my old one. I rem...


November 04, 2022

Warm November Rain in anticlimatic

What a beautiful evening. I walked to the store after dark in the rain. It was warm so I wore shorts with a raincoat and umbrella. I don’t have much of a sense of smell any longer, but I could st...


October 18, 2022

Unstuck in time in anticlimatic

I feel like I’m on a tram that is flying along at about 3 miles per hour. Motionless and sedated. Gazing generally forward with milky eyes. I think it’s time I stopped smoking reefer every minute...


I used to have a lot of pride in humanity and in being human, but it’s been a long while since I have felt it for some reason. Prior to Covid maybe, or 9/11. It’s a hard feeling to map, chronolog...


October 10, 2022

Aloneness in anticlimatic

Is this something everyone grapples with? One of my earliest memories is laying in the dark, on my top bunk, in my first bedroom. I had some stuffed animals to keep me company, and in the eons be...


October 09, 2022

Sea Shell City in anticlimatic

When I was a boy there were two moderately sized cities of approximate distance from the small town my family lived in. Each was about equal in size and economy. They both had a movie theater and...


I don’t know what this is. Not music. But I can’t turn it off, and I feel like I am floating in the clouds of this photograph.


September 28, 2022

The Open Road in anticlimatic

Enjoyed a little walk through the neighborhood at the very tail end of dusk. There is something about the light at that moment, specifically the horizon- when there is the faintest sliver of oran...


September 26, 2022

Buyin' on timeeee in anticlimatic

I’d have loved to live a thousand lives. When I was young I was anxious, and although I may be less so now, I still feel compelled to “go to work” on things, mentally, especially new environments...


My brother graduated high school when I was 21, and the two of us packed up our cars and moved to North Carolina on a whim. I left a good woman behind, family. Mostly I was motivated by a certain...


September 15, 2022

Deer Camp in anticlimatic

Depressed today. I tend to reach for this site when I’m depressed, in general. I never read my own entries, but I suspect I’d sound a bit like Eeyore from Winnie the Poo if I did. There are days ...


September 12, 2022

The Man And The Mirror in anticlimatic

Full disclaimer: I am thoroughly uneducated. In fact, antieducated might be a better term, if such a term exists. I attended college for a few years after high school sporadically, and only on s...


August 30, 2022

Cat Nap in anticlimatic

I’m trying to type around a sleeping cat at the moment. Norah, our Tortie, has been having some extreme anxiety as of late. She’s just a bit of a high strung gal, country girl at heart- maybe not...


The lady and I went for a stroll in the woods down by the river at dusk. Another hot late summer evening. Found this flower on the way, a ratty purple one that smelled like the inside of a tire a...


Just had a queer old bit of memory fall into my lap. Some time before adolescence. Just before it. Autumn season, my dad in the kitchen. Or grabbing wood outside. A particular smell that I can’t ...


August 18, 2022

Another Hot Night in anticlimatic

What a glorious, hot evening. I grew up hating hot evenings, but have come to adore them. Time feels like it slows down to nothing. Warm eternity to float in. I’ve got some country music on the ...


August 15, 2022

Midnight Rider in anticlimatic

I’ll never get enough of strolling street lit residentials in the towns and cities in which I live. I’ve always done it. It’s as home to me of a thing as a hug from my mom. In the late summer- th...


Remember this show? Paul McCartney said that song was the most beautiful song ever written, and it does something for me here. I vaguely remember the plot, having watched it probably over a deca...


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