Entries 376
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Lesson
This is still a lesson I’m trying to learn. But when you suffer with chronic pain while trying to save the world; you always feel like YOUR BEST is falling short.
The Constant Problem
Emotions versus Intellect. Intellectually, I know that I’m awesome. Truly, I am a catch and any woman would be blessed to be with me. Consider it. I have a stable full time job that pays me no...
Kindnesses and Other Things
Last night, I had a big list of stuff I wanted to do and to get done. But when I got in the car and started to drive home? I was… almost instantly falling asleep. CLEARLY, I was super tired. ...
Last Night
Last night as I lay in bed, I was looking through Tinder and OK Cupid as I sometimes do and swiping on the women that looked good or seemed interesting in their profiles. And I GOT MY FIRST MATC...
Probably A Psychological Issue
I just realized… when I’m feeling anxious… especially socially… I tend to go to a particular show… read the lines from the main character until I’m comfortable enough that I can actually pull off...
Knew It When I Woke Up
Some days, you wake up and a feeling comes over you. It can be difficult to really put your finger on… but there’s just this feeling and you have a sense for what to expect from the day. Or is ...
A Detached Feeling Understood
Yesterday, I was feeling sad about the divorce. But I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was a lonely feeling, a feeling that called a tear to my eye and a hollow feeling to my heart. But it was...
Short
Had a pretty decent weekend. Friday: Roll20 Saturday: DDO w/Remus Sunday: Hung out with Victoria and her kids at their house and went swimming. Overall, pretty good… and very social (all things c...
Okay so
Okay so… I didn’t create this… but I’m telling you right now… I would very much like to find myself at some point in a place where I can present this to someone!
I'm Not That Lucky
I’ve not been dreaming the way I normally do. Apparently, this is fairly common in the Time of COVID. But whereas my dreams are normally deeply narrative or, as has been the case during the Pan...
Dogs, Pigs, and Asses
I’d say last night was a very successful Nala night! Though, concerns abound. I followed the vet’s advice and gave two shorter walks as opposed to 1 big walk. This was better for Nala certainl...
Just a Thank You
To everyone who has recommended freezing Nala’s puzzle toys (EverLast Wheel, Kong w/Treats, etc) THANK YOU! Brilliant advice. Today in my failed attempt to get my games to work on my new PC, I ...
Emotions
I think days like yesterday are about, largely, how emotionally crippling this year has been without almost any support or fix to it. That isn’t to downplay friends and readers who’ve reached ou...
Koinu: Worried Sick
Oh. Shit. Seriously. This is worry and questioning approaching the level of making me sick. As you may be aware, Nala has taken to destructive chewing again. She has destroyed many a bed linen a...
Tragic
So, I was honestly hoping my Sunday would be restorative. After a shitty Friday, a shitty Saturday… I was hoping… Sunday, be relaxing. Started it out by updating my new PC with my old games. On...
Political Statement
What has been truly horrifying for me this year is how many people are aghast at my perspective on Law and Order. And that is horrifying because my stance is in support of Law For All. I find it...
For vs To
So… not unexpected but… damn I wish I could find someone to help walk Nala! Wednesday I was in too much pain to function; so Nala didn’t get a walk. Yesterday, I walked Nala as much as I could. ...
Survey For Reasons
I have totally stolen this from one of the various people who did this survey on my list. I just got convictions on all of my trials today so I’m doing this as a semi-victory lap of sorts. Plus...
Silly Rabbit
I am back in the office today. Have to be. 9 hearings and 4 trials; so… have to be. I’m still feeling… wonky. My legs aren’t in as much excruciating pain but my back is still very fucked up. ...
Pain
Today, I have stayed in bed for most of the day due to the overwhelming pain in my legs, back, shoulders, and neck. That sucks. And on days like this… I feel particularly bad for Nala. Because I...
Last One For the Day
I decided after everything today, I was going to be kind to myself. Just… turn off the outside world… play with my dog, do laundry. The other stuff on my to do list can be taken care of tomorro...
Classic Chris
The same day I write an entry about how tired I am? I give Nala an hour walk. Play with her for 20 minutes. Cook 7 different dinners. (Meal Prep, don’t ya know) Play with Nala for another 20 min...
Additional
I just put this on Twitter: The Law can be very Drought/Flood. Just strange when it is in the same week. Slow, unbusy start. Hectic, chaotic finish! And it is true. My next three days on my W...
Break
I know everybody is feeling this way these days. But I need a break. Not just a break from work. A break from everything. A Life Vacation. 1 week where I don’t have to clean or take care of the...
Repeated Reality
You know, I truly hate to say it. The divorce was necessary and unavoidable and… in truth? Nobody’s fault… which, more accurately, is to say both of our fault in that my ex should have been mor...
Book Description
I was 20 when I first started taking pills that let me see the world with a little less pain. A few months after that, I met a woman that I thought was beautiful and interesting. When I was 26, I proposed. We married when I was 27 and moved to Omaha. That is where our marriage ABSOLUTELY fell apart. That was 2011. For the last many years; I had been trying to salvage the marriage. At the end of 2019, I told my wife that we needed to separate. This year we file, she moves out, and I try to figure out how to get my shit sorted.
