Repeated Reality in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020
- July 19, 2020, 12:23 a.m.
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- Public
You know, I truly hate to say it. The divorce was necessary and unavoidable and… in truth? Nobody’s fault… which, more accurately, is to say both of our fault in that my ex should have been more of an adult and I should have held myself in more esteem.
But I have to say? Between my ex-wife’s constant rejection of me both romantically and sexually? Coupled with my abject and abysmal failure on all dating apps? I find myself constantly wondering what is so wring with me that I don’t inspire a single soul to want to get to know me? As a writer, I typically get compliments. As a human, I am considered intelligent, kind, and compassionate. As a provider, I have ample resources and a deep well of emotional availability. Which, ultimately, leaves me to consider that my ultimate problem is surface. That my appearance is somehow faulty. Unacceptable. Lacking. And in that regard, I am not entirely sure what to do!
Sleepy-Eyed John ⋅ July 19, 2020
I'd trim your facial hair for one. Also I'm not a fan of the shirt. Maybe read up on men's fashion. That said, it's not the end of the world if you stay with it.
I'd also research how to attract women. There is plenty of advice out there.
Park Row Fallout Sleepy-Eyed John ⋅ July 23, 2020
It's funny. I hear "trim the facial hair" a lot on this one and, in truth? This was the same day I got a haircut and "beard sculpt" so.... hrmmmm. Also, humorous, my personal dress sense is much more.... dark colors and professional look. The three options in my wardrobe are (1) Workout; (2) Hawaiian Style; (3) Professional. lol
Sleepy-Eyed John Park Row Fallout ⋅ July 23, 2020
Okay. The shirt isn't a big deal. I'm just not a fan.
I'd still recommend reading articles and books on dating success. eharmony for example has an excellent blog.
But there's a lot out there.
Also considering you have female readers you could learn a lot about women if you just ask.
Anyway. Good luck dude.
stargazing ⋅ July 19, 2020
I don't agree with the first noter. I'd swipe right. :)
Park Row Fallout stargazing ⋅ July 23, 2020
Thank you! I... definitely think a problem I'm running into is location.
AppleGirl ⋅ July 19, 2020
Just be you. And be patient.
Molding and transforming yourself to meet someone else’s idea of you never ends up in a good place.
Keep what you love about yourself, work on what you don’t love - but don’t change things because someone else says you should.
Catleesi ⋅ July 21, 2020
I've found after the age of 30- finding friends and being more social is a lot harder, let alone dating. Give yourself a little compassion when it comes to getting back into the scene.
Keep doing the social things you love to do, you've met a few friends from the play you did. Expanding your social circles will help a lot when it comes to finding both dates and friends, so it's win win. You'll get there, it's just gonna take some time.
DE_KentuckyGirl ⋅ July 21, 2020
I don't think you're unattractive. I have suggestions (I have helped my son wit autism with his dating profiles).....I think it's good to include several pics of yourself in different contexts. Dont just choose pics you think are good, enlist the help of others. Your best friend, for instance. I have found that sometimes pics that I think are good ones of me, others don't find so flattering, and vice versa.
This particular picture doesn't provide a lot of info. Have a casual pic but have it with some kind of context; near a pool, beach, lake, something that shows what kinds of activities you get up to. A dressed up pic: suit and tie or casual dressy. Background of your pic is important! Every aspect of your pic conveys something about you!! I look closely at details in pictures and many others do as well. Even if you're casually posed, pick a place with a nice background. Nice fireplace. Meticulous kitchen or yard. Office. Dog lounging in the background. Have someone help you take appropriate pics, with clothing changes in between. Feedback from others can be invaluable!
Also, if you're comfortable, maybe post your profile write up? When I helped my son with his, he got more hits. But I was thinking from the view of a woman and what they (generally) want to see, at least the type he wanted to attract.
Covid is definitely a factor, no doubt.
Park Row Fallout DE_KentuckyGirl ⋅ July 21, 2020
Thank you for this! I will see what I can do. But yeah, COVID is definitely a thing. I just posted on my Twitter: It feels very stereotypical ME that I would find myself single almost EXACTLY when the worst thing to do is "go to the bars". VERY me kind of energy.
Purple Dawn ⋅ July 21, 2020
Women are weird, but my advice is to trim your beard and take pictures where there are plain backgrounds and you're looking at the camera or candid ones where you're doing something like walking your dog? Take care,