I'm what's left in These titles mean nothing.
- Dec. 15, 2019, 8:18 a.m.
- |
- Public
I am the only one left from my family now. No one else remembers what I remember. I am 73 and my mother died at 48 and my brother at 69. My dad lived to be 82 so I suppose I may have more years ahead of me.
When I was catching sheets at KG and had a lot of time to think, I determined 78 to be the ideal age to die. I wouldn’t be TOO old or TOO young. My money should last, maybe even my health would last. Of course if I want to die of natural causes I could have to work up a cause of death. Even if I died of unnatural causes, I’d still need a cause.
I realize this is a silly and self indulgent subject. Even five years in the future is a long time. Much can happen. Much will happen. There is no guarantee that whatever happens will be good though.
But as an exercise in planning, what would I do to make things best for those I leave? I always end up thinking of my books, but I have no idea what to do with them. I suppose I could sort out ones that might have some value to someone else.... not sure how I would determine that though. My brother said a book had some value as heat in a wood stove. I could take five downstairs every day and toss them in - one at a time - with a kiss for Condo Marie.
I have a few decent antiques, manly dishes. I could invite Mike’s family to come and pick out what they want. Perhaps letting Deb and Katie, my own family, have first choice.
But do I want these things - my books and my dishes and the plate rack and the buffet and the gun that hangs on the wall - to leave this place? No, not really.
I must see some future for the house, the farm, the accouterments, I must want them to live on.
I could make a will. If I don’t have a will half of whatever there is - the gun, the dishes, the books go to each of my sons. They can decide what to do with it. In a way that’s the attractive, easy thing to do. Let them decide.
There is the idea too that I might be of some help to someone. That my life is a good thing and maybe I should try to hang on. I need to help Jim with Joana. But otherwise I do not see myself doing much good in the world.
=======================================
I probably don’t mean a word I’ve written here. Or maybe I do. Maybe I mean some of them but not others.
Toss a handful of confetti in the air. See if the breeze carries it away. Hold your breath.
ConnieK ⋅ December 15, 2019
Heavy subject. At 67, I find myself alone in family, as well. I am the last keeper of the family memories, but I decided 150 was a good age to go. As for belongings, the boys want a few things, foster daughter wants several things that are ear-marked for her. After that, I told the kids to let my friends look first, then it could go to the church for whoever wants it.
ConnieK ⋅ December 15, 2019
Oh, and get that will made. It will prevent your sons from having to go through a bunch of nonsense and at least a year of court dates to be recognized as legal heirs. It also prevents some unknown relative from making a grab for it.
gattaca ⋅ December 15, 2019
I'm 63. I have a ways to go I think, but I could also step out of the house today and have a stroke. You never know.
I have my affairs in order (to the extent that I think is important).
I just hope I've made my stepson and my grandkids happy. :-)
NorthernSeeker ⋅ December 15, 2019
We have to get a Will made up. With no property and only one child it will be an easier thing to do than yours will be. But I could be wrong about that.
NorthernSeeker ⋅ December 15, 2019
Congrats for writing 3 days in a row!
Just Annie ⋅ December 15, 2019
I feel much lighter having gone through our stuff. But it wasn't an easy process. We have a trust, so we're set when we go, but next year, I want to plan and pay for our cremation. My sister thinks I'm being morbid, but I'm really just being practical. And making sure she doesn't plan a funeral I don't want.
It's good to read you every day. :)
Jinn ⋅ December 15, 2019
Make a will . Label things for people , then let it go . Live with your stuff you love until you are gone . If you have pets , make provisions for them . You do not want your kids to have any hard feelings over anything ; especially the farm.
Marg ⋅ December 15, 2019
Yes making a will is important - saves a lot of hassle for those that are left and a lot of time too. And I’ve just realised mine is in my married name so I’ll need to get that changed pronto!
WhatDreamsMayCome ⋅ December 16, 2019
Mortality, always good to consider and plan for... nothing to dwell on though.
noko ⋅ December 16, 2019
It makes sense that you are pondering these things. I am too.
Neogy Titwhistle ⋅ December 21, 2019
I've given all my books to my daughter. I have a half dozen here with me now. They are all reference books and an atlas. I feel much lighter now! (I'm not counting the hundreds of books on my Kindle.)
woman in the moon Neogy Titwhistle ⋅ December 21, 2019
I don't know why I like books. I guess because I considered them a luxury for so long. I still very rarely buy a new book. Second(or however many)hand books are usually pretty cheap and I pay attention to library sales where they are really cheap. Sometimes I feel like I'm taking care of books because someone should. I have this big old house and it's not filled up yet.
Serin ⋅ December 27, 2019
I've been thinking of my books and stuff in the context of my death. It was a revelation to watch my cousin's beloved things go to the dump after we lost him. Nobody loved his stuff as much as he did.
And the library doesn't care about donated books anymore, they're generally trying to downsize and they are not about to put used books in their collections. And the church doesn't do a book sale anymore because nobody buys.
So I'm going to recycle some of the text books. And maybe just find a used bookstore as the beneficiary when I go.
woman in the moon Serin ⋅ December 27, 2019
Maybe we should all be assigned a storage unit at birth, or graduation from high school, and then not be allowed more than will fit into it.
Not a good idea, is it?