#TMIFiles: The Countdown in These Foolish Things

  • Sept. 15, 2021, 10:01 a.m.
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  • Public

This morning I noted it on Instagram - I’m now in the countdown for my final FOLFOX chemo treatment!

  • 7 days until my 12th and final infusion begins (this is when I’ll celebrate because I’ll be feeling decent after the plug-in…I hope, anyway…sometimes I feel super drunk after they plug me in, so we’ll see what happens).

  • 10 days until my 12th disconnect (this is when I’ll crash and burn and fall over with gratitude that it’s finally over).

Of course, I’ll have to get scans in mid-October to see where we are with this fucking stuff and I’ll go to the cancer center and see Hot Onc every three months for three years, but man…this chemo has been the hardest undertaking of my life so far.

I’m thrilled to be counting this last one down.

Also, fuck cancer. I’m sad to hear of Norm MacDonald’s passing at 61. This scares me and at the same time makes me consider what I want to do with the rest of my life.

AND, to everyone: PLEASE get screened. You do NOT want to go through this, I promise.


WhatDreamsMayCome September 15, 2021

The end is near... Literally! Good news!!

Ginger Snap WhatDreamsMayCome ⋅ September 15, 2021

Yes! I'm so excited!

Complicated Disaster September 15, 2021

Whoooooooooooooooooo!!! xx

Ginger Snap Complicated Disaster ⋅ September 15, 2021

Yes!! Celebrate with me!

Elaine Benes September 15, 2021

Fuck cancer. And yes, Jesus. 61 is not old.

Ginger Snap Elaine Benes ⋅ September 15, 2021

No it's NOT old! Not at all. That's what breaks my heart. And to imagine he went through this cancer shit for NINE years.

Athena September 15, 2021

I’m curious about the scan. My recollection was the pre-chemo scans did not reveal any cancer. Assuming no cancer could grow during chemo—and Jesus H Christ that’s tough stuff if it could!?!!—is the best case scenario a no-change scan? And then do you get scanned again every three months?

Ginger Snap Athena ⋅ September 15, 2021 (edited September 15, 2021)


So, those are a couple of great questions.

First of all, I am SO glad you were with me during those first two meetings because I have total selective memory/amnesia because of the trauma. I don't remember much of either of those conversations with the oncologist or the NP. I was a walking, talking zombie.

But, now that I'm retaining some information, I do know that the purpose of the post-chemo scan is to set a new baseline - my surgery was seven months ago, and there will be some scarring in my gut and maybe even some funky stuff going on from a healing perspective. They need to see what my innards look like now that I've had a chance to heal from the colon resection.

Then, we go from there. Hot Onc says he'll see me every three months for three years, but it may be to have scans, it may be to check in, etc. When I talked with my PCP, he told me that my job will be to just "show up" for whatever comes next.

I don't yet know when my port can come out but it will definitely be after the first set of scans, at least.

Lots to come!

This is why it's probably never really over.

Also, I will celebrate every single milestone because I can. xo

Athena Ginger Snap ⋅ September 15, 2021

New baseline. Just show up. Great answers to tough questions.

Marg September 18, 2021

I’m sooooo glad you’re coming to the end of this particular part of the journey and am so very grateful to you for taking the time and energy to share it with us. So much of this lived experience of cancer never gets heard unless you have it yourself and it’s really important to know just what’s involved.

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