One Angry Dwarf ⋅ 119

I AM AN ETERNAL MONSTER OF LIGHT

"i can't think of anything but butt jokes"

dude who can't think of anything but butt jokes

Entries 23

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Tryna get my return ticket and it’s being a REAL FUCKO. Using Skyscanner which is definitely the best one I’ve seen but I’M A REAL NOOB AND WANNA MAKE SURE I’M NOT GETTING JACKED. (Don’t worry, p...


HI HI HI HI LOOK AT ME I’M HERE. Went to a conference in Portland for 3 days and it was great but exhausting and I wrote an entry while I was there but didn’t get around to posting it and HONESTL...


MONDAY FUNDAY. This illness is sinus-y as fuck, but it’s already going softly into that rhinovirus goodnight. That makes me INFINITELY GODDAMN HAPPY because I’m leaving town for a 3-day conferenc...


LP yesterday: The whole time I was in England, my nasal passages were clear, and as soon as I got back I’m all congested again. (He’s essentially allergic to the pacific northwest, so this is no...


London on the 11th, then going to Liverpool (MAYBE, if Carolyn still lives there), then Glasgow then Edinburgh. No dates set yet on when I’m migrating to each place. WANT TO HANG? I KNOW WE WEN...


OH HI, FOLKS. Good weekend!!!!!!!! I SLEPT FOR SOME OF IT WHICH IS PRETTY NICE but then slept like shit again last night, ha ha, it’s fine, whatever. WHATEVER. I’m slowly approaching the place I ...


I don’t… even know how to explain last night. HA HA. I will maybe do a video? Because there are ideas in my head but writing them down feels weird and not… right… so maybe I’ll just verbally barf...


THE SLEEP IS GONE AGAIN, Y’ALL. Oh well. OH WELL. No one needs it. I “woke up” (in the sense that I was only partially asleep, most of my brain waiting for the fucking alarm to ruin my life) and...


December 06, 2018

DePhoMo #5: Country Life in DePhoMo

I don’t live in the country, but I did take a picture of this painting in a bar once. I mean, I imagine that’s meant to be the country. #NotAllCountryBabies, obv. OR IS IT? No of course it’s not...


December 04, 2018

DePhoMo4: PATTERNS in DePhoMo

I’m trapped in a pattern of mutually enabled self-destruction with my MAYBE-BEST-FRIEND???-turned-boss. I regret nothing, except referring to him as a friend lol lol lol but no I love him more th...


lol CW: Dieting, weight loss, way cooler hair than I have now (this one’s just for me because seeing my old hair makes me sad)


THIS IS ABOUT DIET STUFF. HA HA OBVIOUSLY. . . . . . . . . . . . . K so the first couple weeks I had beer twice, regained 4 pounds. Got back down to where I was. Third week I had a milk shake, g...


Man. Yesterday was not super easy. I just wanted bread all goddamn day. It was maybe psychological, cos I finally decided to kick down my calorie count to actually LOSE weight instead of maintain...


CW - diet stuff, progress pics YEAH I’M QUOTING JOHN MAYER IN MY TITLE, WHAT OF IT. I’ve actually had a couple John Mayer lyrics floating through my head lately. “HEAVIER THINGS” HOLDS UP PRETTY...


CW: DIET GARBAGE, BODY IMAGE ISSUES DAY 6, BITCHES. I went out to eat last night for the first time. There was a cheese/meat plate with a FUCKTON OF STUFF on it and I went to town. Obviously cou...


July 03, 2018

La Croix and Chill in FOOD SHIT

CW: DIET STUFF. I swear to God I’ll get less boring when I settle into this a little more. Probably?!?! (Ha ha yeah then I’ll go back to talking about failing to take dick with any regularity. SO...


HI. HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI. IT’S MONDAY AND LITERALLY NO ONE IS HERE BUT ME AND GIRLCRUSH. GOD IT’S SO QUIET. PACEY IS OUT FOR ALMOST TWO GODDAMN WEEKS AND I AM SO THRILLED. My boss isn’t bac...


JUST REALIZED THIS TITLE + THE EMOJI IS WILDLY MISLEADING. I HAVE NO SEXUAL THINGS TO SAY TODAY. Well okay I guess I did bang Misha the other night but it was not a noteworthy experience. And I b...


I’ma be doneso with writing regular entries for the month. I’ma try DePhoMo because why not (WHERE THE HELL DO THE PROMPTS COME FROM, MY DUDES?!), but mostly I’ma focus on vlogs. I won’t promise ...


Dude I have been going to town on this chacne and it’s getting WORSE. FUCK EVERYONE. And my boobs hurt today, and I’m even fatter than yesterday and all this makes me realize I am either (A) preg...


Y’ALL KILLED IT WITH THE ADVICE, YO. Especially advice on my socks. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE SOCKS. I swear I don’t wear them out of the house. EXCEPT WITH FLIP FLOPS, OF COURSE. (I’ll respond to...


So, Haven. It’s a really dumb show full of plot holes, but I’ve been watching it to make my brain stop doing its brain thing. I’ve gotten so caught up in it that I only just realized I still ha...


July 16, 2014

EPIDEMIC. in HIP HOP RAGE

Just saw an article about the "selfie epidemic." Selfie epidemic. Selfie. Epidemic. EPIDEMIC. Can someone please explain how the fuck people owning cameras and pointing them at their own fac...


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