One Angry Dwarf ⋅ 118

I AM AN ETERNAL MONSTER OF LIGHT

"i can't think of anything but butt jokes"

dude who can't think of anything but butt jokes

Entries 59

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Man. Yesterday was not super easy. I just wanted bread all goddamn day. It was maybe psychological, cos I finally decided to kick down my calorie count to actually LOSE weight instead of maintain...


WELP. Guess I am doing that “workshop” for my friend’s book. I have no idea how many people are participating. He changed it cos he got so many responses, so instead of a weekly live video thing,...


Ugh. I gotta finish the dumb minutes from Friday’s meeting but FUCK IT, HI EVERYONE. I was not picked for my friend’s book but I’m actually very much okay with that because his approach probably...


Something went wonky with my last one, SORRY IF YOU READ THIS AND NOW IT SAYS IT’S NEW AGAIN, I deleted that one. WOW JESS SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY. I’ma separate this into sections so you can on...


I have to go to a fucking SPEED DATING event tonight. It is taking place at a FUCKING BREWERY THAT ONLY SERVES BEER SO I CAN’T EVEN DRINK. Gundam and I decided to do this months ago. Gundam, AKA ...


WOW I am surprisingly hungover. Did I have… ALL the drinks? Or is it just that I switched back and forth between whiskey and gin? NOT SURE BUT I KINDA WANT TO DIE. Also my new phone… the first al...


It`s the small humiliations that your memory piles up This is hell. THIS IS HEEELLLLLL Just kidding but I legit don’t want to be here today. FIRST DAY BACK AT WORK IN 5 DAYS AND INSTEAD OF COMIN...


CW - diet stuff, progress pics YEAH I’M QUOTING JOHN MAYER IN MY TITLE, WHAT OF IT. I’ve actually had a couple John Mayer lyrics floating through my head lately. “HEAVIER THINGS” HOLDS UP PRETTY...


CW: DIET GARBAGE, BODY IMAGE ISSUES DAY 6, BITCHES. I went out to eat last night for the first time. There was a cheese/meat plate with a FUCKTON OF STUFF on it and I went to town. Obviously cou...


July 04, 2018

La Croix and Chill in FOOD SHIT

CW: DIET STUFF. I swear to God I’ll get less boring when I settle into this a little more. Probably?!?! (Ha ha yeah then I’ll go back to talking about failing to take dick with any regularity. SO...


Christ. Last day of work until my 5 days off and I SHOULD NOT BE FUCKING AROUND ON THE INTERNET. Last time I had time off, I left a bunch of shit for myself to do when I got back, which made it h...


HI. HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI. IT’S MONDAY AND LITERALLY NO ONE IS HERE BUT ME AND GIRLCRUSH. GOD IT’S SO QUIET. PACEY IS OUT FOR ALMOST TWO GODDAMN WEEKS AND I AM SO THRILLED. My boss isn’t bac...


Everyone told me to stop watching Voyager after 7 of 9 shows up because it’s just ALL ABOUT DAT ASS but I feel like that’s more reflective of their inability to look past her ass than the show it...


JUST REALIZED THIS TITLE + THE EMOJI IS WILDLY MISLEADING. I HAVE NO SEXUAL THINGS TO SAY TODAY. Well okay I guess I did bang Misha the other night but it was not a noteworthy experience. And I b...


Ha ha, I ACTUALLY wrote down what I ate yesterday after getting stoned, and I am not wrong in guessing I’m eating about 50% more than I should on stoner days. Y’all, how am I not morbidly obese?...


I have done nothing today. I would love to keep it that way. Ha ha. The Boss is out of town and I kinda wanna get some shit done while she’s gone so she doesn’t think I slacked off all week, but ...


(THIS ENTRY HAS A VIDEO AT THE END.) WHAT A GREAT MORNING. I planned on working from home for the morning because I had a Crotch Check near my place. Howevs, my password expired over the weekend...


When did Tinder turn into a thing where you match and then no one ever messages goddamn anyone? Used to be that dudes always messaged first and I’M NOT SAYING THIS IS A STANDARD THAT SHOULD CONTI...


UGH. I DRANK GREEN TEA 3 DAYS IN A ROW AND I’M STILL FAT, I GIVE UP. Ha ha jk. Although the matcha made me kinda nauseous this morning so I might give it up anyway. If I switch to regular tea I t...


Maybe instead of song lyrics I’ll just use things my coworkers happen to say out loud right as I’m posting my shit. My computer restarted overnight. I had like literally 30 windows open and they...


OH HI. I HAVE TO MAKE SOOOOO MANY AWKWARD PHONE CALLS TODAY AND I’D RATHER BE DEAD BUT OH WELL HERE WE FUCKING ARE. Let’s talk about my weekend first. SATURDAY. Woke up too late to be cool or nor...


My day in a nutshell re: copypaste from shit I sent Carolyn. yep, definitely getting sick i hate LP i love how he always says he’s not sick anymore and i shouldn’t be worried about contagions an...


Christ, y’all. I am clearly desperate to avoid work. I’ve never done this “currents” thing cos the first prompt is books and I never read, but this time I am reading something so HERE. June Curre...


Did I use lyrics from this song recently? God, probably. I’m so repetitive. “Holy mother of fucking christ on a cracker why is everything broken all the time,” I JUST SCREAMED AT MY SCREEN BECAU...


This day is wacakdoodle and I fucking hate everyone. Ha ha. But here’s an entry anyway. FAIRY SOIREE WAS SOME AWKWARD SHIT, Y’ALL. It was like. A warehouse that one might have a rave in. With th...


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