Miss Chiffs Manager (One) ⋅ 38 ⋅
Mom! / Biodynamic Urban Farmer / Naturopathic Doctor / Anthroposophist / Mystic / Avid Reader / Writer Extraordinaire / In Pursuit of Moral, Physical, and Intellectual Excellence.
The ending is written into the beginning
Entries 706
Page 11 of 29
Fresh Buns in Journal
New litters are always exciting! [url=https://postimg.cc/8f8Xfxby][/url] I’ve been shelving the boxes inside bc of the cold- they’d actually probably do okay outside now that it’s high 20’s, b...
The moment in Journal
That I realized I was so strongly empathic (empathetic) that I mistook (necessarily) my mom’s experiences for my own completely changed my life. It was really not that long ago. 4 years? But it...
Are we clear? in Journal
Seeing all of hubs family over on the other side the court room wasn’t just impactful, it was concrete clarity; “we reject you and your interests. We have zero respect for what you think is best...
I don’t have any kind of plan. I don’t think I ever decided that I had an end goal - either for my life or for my family. What I have is more of a serious contemplation of each choice that is ...
FIL got up on the stand and called me evil and vile. And the judge obviously granted my PPO order. Just amazing how much an idiot and an asshole this man is. Just to say, I never once called ...
Keep it simple. Keep it concise. Prove what needs to be proven, and nothing else. Mr N, are you happy and satisfied with your current relationship to my children? The children shared by my husb...
The PPO hearing is tomorrow. I feel very shaky. Anxious. Angry I am reminded of the feeling surrounding my brother and my own father. The terror of standing up to the man. As a small child, I d...
I am thoroughly in Journal
enjoying that I just now got the hearing notice in the mail. So FIL probably would have gotten it today, or maybe will get it tomorrow. Which leaves him exactly 2 non-weekend days to prepare or...
Might as well detail the hellish ordeal that it is to file for a PPO. The county clerk is a complete joke. Spent a solid 2 hours going back and forth to get THEIR paperwork filed, which was EXA...
I'm Noticing in Journal
that when I’m sad, or hurt, I tend to get blame-y. IT MUST BE YOUR FAULT! lol Who do I know that sounds like that? So, in the interest of self-knowledge and honesty, I have begun to really exa...
It was not pleasant at all to see you at the barn today, How is that aggression going for you? I am a sucker for a good argument. Man alive do I just love a good argument. Exclusively those argu...
I dreamt that there was a man- depraved in all sorts of ways- who stood idly in a busy, crowded place full of witches. Not the magical kind. The evil kind that use word-spells to control little ...
Votex and Portals. My time has shifted. I’ve had startling revelations where I realized it was me, always me, talking to myself through time. I can’t really explain it, of course. I only have ...
On Becoming Christian in Journal
I was presented with, I think, the opportunity to confront a challenge of Fright. I did not want to confront it. I felt that I would not adequately, in that moment, withstand the temptation to f...
A New Reality in Journal
has been before me since the 8th of August, 2024. 8-8-8 It is a poignant experience. I have been reflecting on the grand scheme of things, and can only say that powers and principles far beyond ...
Some Backstory in Meditations
To log because this seems like a wonderful way to get it down in an easily manageable way. This entry is dated 8-8-24 because that is the day that Christ entered my soul and became a permanent...
It’s been awhile. A lot has been going on. I’m not sure if transformative is the right word. But things have changed… Quite a lot. I’ve talked with DH more than we have have in any time window....
I woke up crying. I felt such a gentle, subtle, and far away grief. Yet deep. As deep as I could ever feel. It was a very unique experience. I imagined that there was a lover deep inside of me, ...
Be a Leader and Obey in Journal
Those were the words I heard spoken today. It was not ironic. It was not sarcastic. It was said with sincerity. I don’t know if we all have just collectively lost the ability to have a sort of…...
Spiritual Science in Journal
and the subjective experience. My relationship to the subjective is uneasy and skeptical. I think that comes out of being physically and emotionally abused as a child. Most people have that unfor...
Embarrassing in Journal
When you chaffe against someone who doesn’t play your game. Just name call. Act superior. Do whatever except the honorable. Okay. I hear you. I accept your lack of honor. Begone. I defer to reali...
Starting Over in Journal
from first principles. It does seem daunting, as an adult, to have to start over. But, that is exactly what I did. I think there must be a big enough Why for anyone to accomplish this. That is j...
What to say... in Journal
I feel as if I’ve gone back in time…a decade, to be precise. I daresay that I look like it, too. I looked at my face in the mirror today, and I was surprised. I can be a bit-well, impulsive. I h...
a name I haven’t seen in years. And it brought me back. I can imagine this person asking me, “So, what have you done with yourself in all these years?” An innocent enough question, although I fee...
Wow am I ever NOT a baker. I’ve been using sourdough to make bread for over a year now. And it’s always.... Well. It’s bread but it’s also a door stop. Lol I just recently started trying to make ...
