Xanatos
Entries 261
Page 10 of 11
It's been just under two months since I wrote much of value here. Discounting the teaser earlier today. Even that wasn't much. It was more just an expression of a lot of feelings, but not a gr...
There's an emptiness that comes from Amber's final, definite, rejection "for now anyway." At the same time, it's wonderful and freeing.I wanted her. I wanted her as it's difficult to want a per...
A dream I had while in China and have neglected to post in 2014
As a note, the ending of the dream is a comment I made at the time of writing it down. It no longer applies. I do not know the exact date of this, but I would assume late March or April last. I...
Placeholder in 2014
There's not a great deal to report. There's a great deal to reflect on, but, at the moment, reflection is out of the question. Too tired, house is full of children, and an incredibly stressed m...
Long discussion in 2014
July first, something shocking happened. I talked to Amber. We talked a lot. I don't even remember how it started. I didn't sleep much that night. I've also been sick since. Stress. Simply...
Unsent E-mail in 2014
You say that I don't really care about you because you say that I don't understand you. You also say that we can be friends without being lovers. But these two positions don't add up. They can...
What is it about wine that is so conducive to writing? Who decided that, of all the alcohols, at the bottom of a glass of wine one would fine such inspiration? Perhaps because wine is at the he...
A working theory in 2014
I have a working theory for why I'm so down these days. Courtney seems to think it holds water. I'll record it here. I'm an extrovert. I love talking to people. I love dealing with people. I...
I dreamed, in that strange place between sleep and awake, that I got two letters. Both from Rachael. One I read the whole text of. It was rather practical. The second one was heavy and firm w...
A Dream from May 4th in 2014
I had a dream that I was walking along Telegraph road to the old Starlight. I was me, but I was also me from years ago. Rachael was there. She was rejecting me again and again. She was talking ab...
I have not written in the last few weeks. I have had no thoughts, no ideas, no observations worth recording. The bulk of my effort is dedicated to performing my daily duties, and I find that th...
Same and Different in 2014
One of the great tragedies in my life was losing Courtney at the same time as the theater. During a time when I was desperate for encouragement and guidance, when I needed help to understand a r...
Courtney asked me something the other day. She asked me what I liked. To be honest, I didn't know how to answer. I'm not sure how to answer that. I've got fewer and fewer answers to things li...
A Shropshire Lad XXVI by A.E. Housman in 2014
Along the fields as we came by A year ago, my love and I, The aspen over stile and stone Was talking to itself alone. 'Oh who are these that kiss and pass? A country lover and his lass; Two l...
The weather's been bad most of the week. Not in the normal usage of the word. It's been a temperature I like, and it's been raining, which I also tend to like. The problem is, we've been getti...
Computer Games in 2014
For whatever reason, I'm enjoying computer games less and less as I age. I suppose that's a good thing. Once upon a time, I'd have argued that it's natural, but the sheer number of my contempor...
May 5th through 11th in 2014
Monday I went on a very long walk. Four and a half miles. I also got a lot done. I got texting put on my phone, I applied for a charge card, and I looked for some additional gadgets for my sma...
April 28 to May 4th in 2014
Monday I have no clear recollection of. However, I did start low carb dieting. So, we'll see how that goes. I ate some delicious bacon, and that's always welcome. Tuesday I went out and play...
Potato Chips in 2014
Can't have just one. Being with Simona was wonderful. It truly was. But for my hesitation to expend any emotion on women these days, or, at least, to keep it on a tight leash, it was really ni...
April 23rd to 27th in 2014
Wednesday the 23rd I was fairly jet lagged still. Not a lot happened. I had to do an airport run, though. I also went to Berkley (either on the 23rd or the 24th) and got a new ukulele book and...
Through April 24th, featuring two April 22nds in 2014
A lot of these will be spotty. I was stressing out and not sleeping due to the big move. I've also forgotten a lot. And I'm tired. And I love making excuses when I fail to meet my goals in a ...
Weekly Update in 2014
It's difficult to remember to put these up. After nearly a year of food journaling I still forget to update that sometimes. With Shane closed, we'll see how long this keeps up, but, I rather en...
Weekly Summary in 2014
Monday was relatively typical. I had Jerry's class, then I had Pathfinder. Nothing of interest sticks out in my mind as having happened on Monday. Tuesday I taught classes for Sunny and Bobby...
Nothing in particular in 2014
I have nothing of interest to say and an endless number of words to say it in. The number of possible combinations of letters when you stare at an empty screen ought to boggle the mind. Yet it ...
Rundown of the week in 2014
Monday I played Pathfinder with Tris, Levi, and Matt. It was frustrating because Matt meta games far too much for our comfort, but Levi (the DM) won't call him out. So, Tris and I have to meta ...
