renslayer
over-sensitive over-thinker
Entries 17
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why do people get uncomfortable when I'm not doing anything? in growing pains
Sometimes I just like to sit and just be. I don’t want to be using my phone, watching TV, working on my laptop, reading a book, knitting, or whatever. I’m just sitting on a couch and probably thi...
no risk, no reward in growing pains
feeling really sad about myself. feeling like a failure for not being able to open applications for things that i want, much less fill out the applications. i’ve been like this for months. those ...
courage to be unique in growing pains
thinking about that one tiktok i saw, about how we’re always doubting ourselves because there’s no one else that’s like us. and we try to think about everyone else that we know, trying to see if...
movies? in growing pains
I think I ought to watch more movies I don’t like movies because I have ADD and can’t focus that long But I think I need inspiration. And inspiration comes through culture and media… especially ...
need more bravery in growing pains
I need to be brave enough to WANT something despite the possibility that I might just be disappointed about not getting it
emotional compass in growing pains
This spiritual guru that I follow keeps talking about how so many humans have abandoned their internal emotional guidance system. She says that our emotions are like a compass toward our purpose,...
job vs freedom/unknown in growing pains
I’m in a predicament. I was offered a job. It’s a pretty impressive title, with a decent salary. It would look good in my resume. And it’s a social justice job. This job is in a field that I hav...
listening for art in growing pains
I love those shades of blue and the gold and the roots and the clouds eggshell sheen, marshmallow white I am learning how to hear. I really feel that I am learning how to hear the answers in thi...
visions in growing pains
I have a vision for myself, where I am living poetry. Playing, learning, making art, excited to see, feel, smell the world, like a child ! Breaking apart the grammar of things to put them back t...
struggles in growing pains
i just constantly have anxiety, dread, fear, unease, doom coursing through my body, like an electric wire. i meditate, i pay attention to my breathing, i try to visualize wellbeing, i try to do ...
staying up for no reason in growing pains
i’m just. feeling. broken. i feel so misunderstood. i feel like people won’t listen to me. they’ll project onto me. people will pick on me when they want an easy target. and i’m trying to sh...
sadness in growing pains
these past couple days i’ve constantly been on the verge of tears the only times i don’t feel like that, i’m in this foggy numbness
adderall crash in growing pains
Attended a grad school career fair today (virtually). I learned more about what it takes to get into grad school, and have a better idea of what kind of program I want to apply to this fall. Tha...
practice --> power in growing pains
practice makes perfect. if i practice power, i become more powerful. what does power mean to me? - following my heart - taking risks - remembering that i am embodied - nourishing this body ...
blocked in growing pains
am in one of those writer’s blocks, but more like a life block. a vitality block. feeling like a hunk of lead. i’ve been feeling so lost lately. have been asking my dreams for guidance. the othe...
perpetually sorry that I forgot to reply in growing pains
I made a list of every person I’ve been meaning to message back. It’s not like I have a ton of friends. I’m just terrible at replying to messages. My forgetfulness is so embarrassing. It makes m...
hi, let me know if you see this in growing pains
I just want to know if people see this. If you do, can you please comment something? Anything
