job vs freedom/unknown in growing pains

I’m in a predicament.

I was offered a job. It’s a pretty impressive title, with a decent salary. It would look good in my resume. And it’s a social justice job. This job is in a field that I have a lot of experience in, so I’m well prepared to take it on.

But I have been wanting to switch out of this field. I want to try something else.
I don’t know what that other thing is. Maybe entrepreneurship of some kind. I don’t know, I want to explore. I need to explore. I just… don’t feel able to keep doing this work, and in a 9-5 capacity. This kind of work doesn’t make me feel happy.

So if I turn down this job, I continue being directionless, lost… If I take this job, I don’t have to feel so directionless and lost anymore; I have a 9-to-5 like every other up-standing employed citizen. Honestly part of the appeal of taking this job is to just have a purpose handed to me instead of finding my own.

I’m also lucky to have enough savings to live on for a few more months while I figure things out. I don’t need to take this job for financial reasons. And I’m in my mid-twenties, no dependents.

Do I go for title, pay, stability, resume-building… or, do I take a risk and try to really go after… my happiness? I guess? Find what makes me happy? And get good at it?
I don’t know. Will I regret that? This is like a movie trope, I can’t believe I’m actually living it. The jaded “realistic” and “practical” adult, versus the ambitious teenager who has a dream. Which one am I choosing to be in this moment? Obviously both sides have a point, and movies tend to favor the one who took a risk and went off the beaten path. But that’s only because that makes a better movie, right?

What do you think?

Last updated October 22, 2021