Marg ⋅ 65

Writing this in 2023, I am divorced with one daughter and three grandchildren - two girls and a boy ages 10, 8 and 4. I’m really lucky to live only half an hour away from them :) I am currently undergoing a horrible protracted withdrawal from Mirtazapine, an anti depressant. I was polydrugged in 2015 and became very ill from them to the point of being bedbound for months. I eventually realised the harm they were causing and came off 2 of them and am now on the last one.

'How can I tell what I think until I see what I say?'

E.M. Forster (1927)

Entries 135

Page 4 of 6

December 05, 2017

AWOL in Scottish Meanderings

Yeah - kind of went missing for a while there. Apparently life wasn’t bad enough so I decided to visit hell and it was such fantastic fun I thought I’d stay for a few months! Ok sarcasm aside - ...


This wee pop started school yesterday. Here are a couple of my first cuddles not long after she was born. Where did all that time go? She looks so grown up in her uniform! She was sooooo exc...


I need some gardening advice from all you prolific gardeners out there. But first - can you imagine living in this sitting room??It's from a series I was watching on Netflix and I was just struc...


I've just had the worst three weeks ever. I don't even have any clue why but there is one thing which may have contributed so I really hope I'm right and that my constant fear of this illness be...


This nifty little thing has changed one of my 'projects' quite dramatically. As I've mentioned before, I'm trying to type up old diary entries (both private and Prosebox ones) so that I can pr...


I've had a pretty rough month. Turns out I haven't got the medication sussed after all. The doc did prescribe me 14 Diazepam 2mg tablets and made it clear I wouldn't get any more. Given that I...


Wednesday, 17th May, 2017 It may sound from some of my recent entries that I’m getting better with a bit more energy and I have to admit I was beginning to think that myself a couple of weeks ag...


Poor Catriona. You will recall she's just given birth to a little boy whom they've now named Matthew. Some female members of the family got a lot of ants in their pants because she wasn't up fo...


Ok - several of you have asked for the poem I'd written for the writing group so I'm being very brave here. Please bear in mind this was written in about 4 hours with a 3 hour break in between a...


Wow - I've just inadvertently dodged a bullet without planning to. I really do think there's someone up there looking after me sometimes. When I started the Diploma course at the University las...


Monday 24th April 2017 I’ve drafted and redrafted this entry sooooo many times but not been well enough to finish it then when I come back to it it’s always completely out of date! So I’m on a mi...


In my private diary I write longhand which results in screeds of cursive writing which might be difficult to read in years to come. So I decided I'd type it all up but got way behind with it. I...


I have now set up the new MAC and am desperately trying to persevere with using it regularly instead of my old pc. I miss all the bells and whistles of the old one - the different colours, fonts...


March 19, 2017

Iris in Scottish Meanderings

Whilst searching for the film 'Iris' about Iris Murdoch the other day, I came across a documentary about Iris Apfel instead. I was captivated. Not just by the fact that at 90 (when the doc was ...


March 07, 2017

Firsts in Scottish Meanderings

I don't really have an awful lot to report on the health front. I'm still recovering from the relapse and a bit worried that it's taking so long but as each week passes I get a little stronger. ...


I'm still not right but I'm starting to feel a lot better than I was. Most of last week was spent in bed. This week has panned out thus: Thursday - in bed all day. Up at teatime because Ian (o...


February 08, 2017

Doc's Diagnosis in Scottish Meanderings

Luckily I had an appointment booked with one of the doctors at our local surgery yesterday morning. But the reason I had booked it was ridiculous. I see another doctor, an Addictions Doctor, ev...


Okay I'm not sure what's going on but I think I may have had a relapse and I thought maybe if I attempted to write things out they might become clearer in my mind. I've been picking up what seem...


My niece, Cat, is expecting her first baby at the end of March. She's reached panic mode. I well remember that time. Nikki was due at the end of February and I didn't really think about anythi...


So I bought it :) Bought what you might ask? If you look underneath the monitor the little silver box is my new Mac Mini. And for the more eagle-eyed amongst you, yes it is upside down (now ...


What things did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?Went to University. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year?I stopped making New Years' resoluti...


I've doctored this a little to reflect school in the UK. I think high school in the USA is the equivalent of our secondary school where we go from around age 12 until 16/17/18 (depending on if ...


Good grief - talk about Sod's Law! Remember how my computer didn't seem to be any different after I put it in for repair? Well it obviously reads Prosebox and saw my entry about buying a new on...


November 24, 2016

Scratchy Subject in Scottish Meanderings

It would be reeeeeally nice if - just for once - I could just be ill you know? Just be able to lie there wilting like the proverbial dying swan and drop off if my body needs to WITHOUT 3 cats sw...


I have various dilemmas which are stopping me writing a proper entry in here in that they're taking up writing time so I thought I'd ask for help with one of them. My PC is dying and has been dy...


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