JB
The man who looks for security, even in the mind, is like a man who would chop off his limbs in order to have artificial ones which will give him no pain or trouble.
Entries 103
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Pass the advil in Magma
if you look at this title too fast it reads "pass the devil". Anyhow it has been a rough day today with work, the shining light was being surprised by Nina and the kids. They brought me lunch si...
Everyday I wake up I come face to face with the end results of my errors. I hurt my wife, my kids and friends. My friend whom I involved myself with albeit from long distance and for almost 20 ...
Reaching, digging in to pull myself up only to look skyward and find myself drawing deeper into this hole. Keep getting bound by thoughts I try to avoid. My group meetings teach me it's a though...
It is Monday morning and I'm sitting alone in my office, Florence & the Machine massaging my ears with "Blinding". I have some work to accomplish and some straightening up to do before my ne...
Last night my wife confronted me about one of my followers on Pinterest. It is Her. She and I had been carrying on an affair for a long time long distance. My contact with her which was at one ti...
Struggling. in Magma
I am more tired than anything. Work lately has consumed my thoughts more because I have alot of pressure and no one else to take any of the work load. I hate it. We are looking for an assistant f...
Somedays I just feel so tired, struggling here in the office, working alone. My father offers to get me an assistant p.m. to deal with the work load and yet even this is too late. I hate this.
smoke signals in Magma
Sometimes I see things, symbols, gestures, quotes and I think its you. It gives me hope. Hope that you don't hate me.
submission in Magma
Behind the doors of places we shouldn't have shared are memories I can't help but replay. You bent in your own submission to me, eyes wide with hope and promise that I'd find that magnificent tr...
lest we forget in Magma
For one moment Your voice as it haunts my hallways Ghost whisper strong and steady Washing up memories we've tried to bury But no matter how deep I dig it won't ever deep enough And these hound...
In the starting blocks in Magma
So my saturday morning begins with rain, hopefully this dissipates soon so my son's birthday party can happen outside. Granted there'll be indoor activities no one wants to stay inside the entire...
Sitting here at work earky is the only reprieve I have from my busy day. Today is going to be a tough one. Things on my mind; my marriage mostly. Joey turns 5 tomorrow, he is getting so big. ...
quiet sunday evening in Magma
Kids are asleep. The sheer volume of activity the pair of them experienced today in our continuing effort to clear/tidy up the rear buffer zone of our property left them exhausted. They wouldn't ...
Quickly... in Magma
It is hard to believe that despite the wind's wailings that tomorrow will mark a 5 day stretch of warm (55+ degree) weather. I am even happier it starts on Friday and stretches through my weekend...
family day in Magma
Nina took off today, spent the entire day together with the kids. I hit the gym eatly before any of them awoke. Ella's voice greeted me when I returned home sweaty and tired from bicep curls and...
There comes a time when you must unbind things from you. Things which should be free and let to live. Sometimes when these things are done it is you who is truly free. But you've got to recognize...
There are times even with everything happening around me at their pleasant pace that I find myself sitting here truly lonely. Perhaps it is something I just need to get over, or "man up" as they ...
Last night there were forecasts of snow, 6-8". In the haze of the blowout that the Seahawks dealt to the Broncos I almost forgot to prepare for this. Luckily there was enough wood on the deck to ...
From the ashes. in Magma
Another small but important hurdle passed today. A trip to the hospital for outpatient surgery, my mother drove me as big would be under sedation and made for a return drive inadvisable. But it i...
Some days it is easier than others. Today is one of those days, just trying to stay focused is a bitch. Much of me wants to escape/black out from my responsibility but I know I just can't. Need ...
11 days away in Magma
Birthday is coming, lucky 37 is on it's way. Hoping for a better year, steps being taken, need to build momentum.
Good things in Magma
my std results came back, all negative for everything. my stomach virus/flu is over as of yesterday, no friend sitting at Christmas dinner without appetite when my mom's best plates are spread a...
A month away from my birthday as of today. Went to the lab and got my blood work done, for my own peace of mind and that of my wife's to rule out any STD's, despite being careful the entire time...
This is going to be the first time in a long time I won't be able to say happy birthday to her. Regardless of my wrongs we were friends before anything else. It pains me I can't even say happy bi...
Before dawn in Magma
Sitting at work now a half hour. It is 6:15am. I am here because I have no choice in getting things done, it is unfair one person must make these efforts alone to catch up and get work done. But ...
