Sagittarienne ⋅

Just a thirty-something gal navigating life at home with a loving husband, two living children, and a recent full term stillbirth.

Entries 80

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1 day ago

Untitled in 2017

Truth be told, I think about you a lot. More than I let on. Speak about. Write about. Every future occasion holiday and even the lazy do nothing days. I have to stop to catch my breath as each f...


4 days ago

Locomotion in 2017

I feel as if tides are shifting right now. I guess thats been one of the funny things about grief…I’ve had a few revelations and realizations, intermixed with chaos and darkness. Up and down. Ove...


6 days ago

Five Years in 2017

Five years ago we married. I walked down the aisle as tornado sirens went off outside. We were supposed to have an outdoor ceremony, but Mother Nature had other plans and (thankfully!) the venue ...


October 12, 2017

Need to Write in 2017

Well, Chicago weather has finally realized its fall. Its my favorite season. Colors, sweaters, bonfires, cocoa. Bring it on. Im not one of the pumpkin spice crazed people though. That, I could ta...


September 07, 2017

The More You Know in 2017

Fiona’s reading now, which is pretty cool to see. I’m pretty sure she’s had the tools to do it for a while now. But she needed the confidence to do it. Every day she brings a book from school to ...


September 02, 2017

Howlite in 2017

I love the fall. Loved. Anyway. Season changes kind of suck right now. With summer came warmer temps mismatched to the way I felt. Now with fall, Anxiety Girl is wound really tight right now. Tim...


August 29, 2017

Adulting in 2017

The school year is slowly falling into a rhythm. We arent morning people, so we have a few wrinkles to iron out in wake up times, but overall I’m seeing a much more productive girl in terms of ge...


August 28, 2017

In Stitches in 2017

Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to look into Stitch Fix. I’d seen advertisements and could see its appeal. Who doesnt love ‘blind boxes’? And I’m not super fashion forward so I could s...


August 27, 2017

Mid Year Resolution in 2017

My basement smells divine right now. I’ve done the past couple loads of laundry with some washer whiffs added to the loads. Black raspberry vanilla. (Its a Scentsy thing, if you didnt know). I st...


August 21, 2017

Seven in 2017

My sweet, sweet Ivy girl. One year ago I was 18 weeks pregnant, and just starting to feel your movements. Facebook will remind me of these things, and I know the string of reminders is just start...


August 03, 2017

Collateral Damages in 2017

If I allow too much time to pass between entries, I seem to lose my mojo. Catching up seems a lofty task…do I summarize the overall gist of things? Hit on the key notes? Pick up with this exact m...


July 24, 2017

Family Fun in 2017

Yesterday we ventured to my parent’s vacation trailer, about an hour out of town. The sun was shining and the weather was mid-upper 80s. A great day for fun! We managed to get out of our house ea...


July 24, 2017

Family Fun in 2017

Yesterday we ventured to my parent’s vacation trailer, about an hour out of town. The sun was shining and the weather was mid-upper 80s. A great day for fun! We managed to get out of our house ea...


July 21, 2017

Tomorrow in 2017

Losing Ivy broke me. It shattered me into a million pieces and overwhelmed me with feelings so heavy I feared I would never move again. But....having small children dependent on me forced me to...


July 17, 2017

Intended Sisters in 2017

A surprise catch by our photographer, this picture still makes me stop in my tracks each time I see it. It’s one of the only photos I’ll ever have of my girls together. The girls that I imagined...


July 16, 2017

In Search of.... in 2017

One of the things I was super looking forward to about having a Little Sister, was matchy clothes. With Fi being 6, I probably have only a year or so where she wouldn’t mind something like that. ...


July 16, 2017

Unseasonable in 2017

Its on the chilly side here today. Its about 72 right now, and its really not going to get much warmer. But tomorrow is ten degrees hotter. And then in lower 90s by Wednesday. Oh, Chicago weather...


July 13, 2017

Knowledge Gap in 2017

I feel like there are a lot of things someone should know. For after their baby dies. Only, you cant know beforehand. Because that is scary stuff, and nobody wants to think about worst case scena...


July 12, 2017

Anxieties in 2017

Tomorrow Matt goes back to work. Good gravy, our bank account needs that to happen. Refilling the accounts with OUR money (not hand outs) will start to relieve some of my anxieties about finances...


July 08, 2017

Bear(squared) and School in 2017

My Ivy Bear arrived on Thursday. 5lbs and 12oz of teddy bear. https://www.snapfish.com/photo-gift/share?via=link&token=rumVduQLejCnRvHRtEeoMw/AUS/27945638123070/SNAPFISH Im happy to have it,...


July 05, 2017

Fourth and RTW in 2017

<script async="" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script> Still trying to figure out this photo thing. Something I’m doing is wrong, but at least y’al...


July 05, 2017

Seen in 2017

Not last night but the night before, I envisioned her. Toddler her. Im not sure that I was fully sleeping, it may have been in the moments before sleep hits. She was so sweet to see. Wispy light ...


July 03, 2017

Elephants in 2017

I’m going to take a (hopefully quick) minute to talk about some of the insanity in my brain. The things I havent acknowledged because they are either preposterous or really too inane to deserve a...


July 01, 2017

Birthy stuff in 2017

Because I’m silly, I bought pregnancy tests. Two different packs, actually. Blue dye ones, not the expensive FRERs. The first test, taken at night, was negative. The second, faulty. So I bought a...


June 30, 2017

Im Not an Addict in 2017

I tend to start entries (through my internal dialogue) several times a day. And then once Im at the computer I feel like I’ve nothing to contribute. Or the things I feel like saying are all over ...


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