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No contact-edited
For two days now. And that's okay. I feel more dread when 5:15 comes, that he WILL call..and I don't really want to speak to him, especially since I'm pretty sure he's with someone else. So..he t...
F's birthday
All I did was text happy birthday this morning. Got "ty " then nothing..feeling like he's with someone else and that's ok.
weird comment
F spent a lot of time on the phone with me on Thursday (birthday) probably to use up my cell minutes ...made an odd comment about not "sugarcoating " things...snarky remarks about telling hub he...
My birthday...
Pretty quiet so far.. Day started with a 7:30 text from F. A later one followed to tease me about being "older" than him...for 3 days anyway..til his birthday on Sunday. Got lots of Facebook and ...
so..tomorrow's my birthday..
F seems to be out of contact at the moment...(sigh)
Dinner with a friend
Had dinner with an old friend/ex coworker last night. She gave me a lot to think about.. Of course, starting with the usual, you have to end things with F. It's not fair to Hub, or to me, and why...
Did not go
And that didn't sit well with him..he was going to drive here to get me..which made Hubby freak...and I really felt physically awful...and I DID tell him that a good part of my making myself sick...
made myself sick
Got so upset at the thought of going to t's that my stomach is acting up and I am nauseous and light headed...texted him that I'm not going...he made some comment about my health being more impor...
Told hub
Last night about weekend. Of course he's not happy, and had hoped that F was pissed at my not answering last and I wouldn't go. Well...F has called about 5 times during his day off today. Finally...
avoided...
F's calls...he'd texted (annoyingly) during the day and when he called -cell...then house..then cell..then texted that he'd tried BOTH phones..but my stomach is in knots over telling hub about ce...
A title eludes me
Yesterday F texted a few times..mostly to taunt hub - including the one hub saw that read, "He probably wears your bra and panties when you are not home." I shrugged and said, 'well, you shouldn'...
Birthday list
F insisted he still wants a list from me of what I want for my upcoming birthday...So I wrote up one and emailed it to him just now..It really feels weird - against the order of the universe for ...
another hour
He called again today..we talked for over an hour...no I really don't know what I'm doing...but it won't be like the last few months - Im hoping it will be like 6-7 years ago...when we saw each o...
Ok, yeah, I'm an idiot
But that's nothing new. I guess yesterday's conversation was sort of a negotiation.... deciding to go back to our old status quo...where we are "friends" and "take care of each other's needs" as ...
yes..he called back
And we were on the phone over an hour...he is acting again like back in February,as I suspected he would when the mood swing went the other way. Talking again about sex...about how much he wanted...
He just called...
does not know how to let things go, does he? He just said, "haven't talked to you so I thought I'd check in." He talked for a bit letting me know about gardening work he's been doing, and that he...
haven't heard
anything from him since last week, which is good. I read back over alot of online entries from 2003-4 and it is like the same thing over and over again. Also, the remark that sticks with me and h...
Mother's day
Not a day I particularly like...sent the required card out to stepmother earlier this week, but that's it. My mother is long gone - didn't like her when she was around. And I never became one, so...
today
Slept late-ish again ...another rainy cool day. Worked on a piece of furniture that I am staining ...have to strip the laquer finish first, so I did a test section. Then I worked on joint compoun...
got through another day
Slept in...it was cold and rainy. Did some minor house chores. Went out to dinner w. Hub to Outback.
he didn't call
Another night of going to bed in tears....
almost 5
So..almost 5 pm..will he call? Will I answer? Do I want him to?
Thinking
So I'm thinking ...if F hadn't started this shit about a "real" relationship, we could've just gone back to how it was years ago...seeing each other when we could...having sex...no real strings ....
Shaking head while sighing
So. F calls....acts like nothing is wrong or has changed. No acknowledgment of either email or text...makes general conversation but asks how I am doing. Is calm sounding for him..but not depress...
So..no replies
I had sent F a text after the email, just saying I had SENT one (since he often doesn't check email). Have gotten no reply to either. So I guess he has done what he said he would have after I had...
