Entries 103

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It was convenient that I had therapy the day after the conversation with Red. Tina helped me dig deeper into my experience of the situation and underlying issues. She showed me how my past trauma...

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Oof. I’m back to the gym this week. Just trying to ignore the fucking headache I’ve had since yesterday morning. I’m so tired, and my sore legs make moving both difficult and painful. Wah. I woul...

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I wish I’d written this earlier, but it’s something that has been rattling around my brain since my last therapy session. We talked about how I lost myself during the pandemic, how I lost my soci...

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I’m so tired, haha. I said I was going to write more often, so here I am. I don’t know if anyone else is feeling this, but I really want to start Christmas early. And now that I’ve typed that, I...

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I meant to write. I’ve had a weird paralysis about writing. It started when I was home, I get annoyed always having to explain relationships assuming that a new reader is reading, I need to stop ...

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Wow… where to start… I guess because I don’t want to be click-baity and bury the lead, my mom, my sister and I had a genuine conversation where we talked about our history, aired some long held ...

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Tonight was our weekly craft night, and it kind of started off on the wrong foot. One of the women, let’s call her Lilly, She has such a calm quiet energy and I don’t know why but it makes me fee...

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This is a question my psychologist suggested I ponder. That was two weeks ago. I’ve thought about the task, but I keep getting stuck. Part of it is an excuse - but I want to change! But I believe...

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I have thought a lot about unmasking in the last year. It started back in Wpg when I saw a series of “challenge” TikToks of people “unmasking”. To the untrained eye it legit just looked like some...

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I feel like pieces of my insides are like a jenga set, but instead of taking order and making it chaos until it collapses, I feel like the opposite is happening. The chaos is becoming organized, ...

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Well… I went to see the Barbie movie. I was originally torn about it, until the hype reached my peers, and I reconsidered the last 30 odd years of feeling bad for my Barbie loving past. I was a ...

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After the session I texted my sister e: I wonder what it means when told by your therapist to think of a place of comfort and you think of your spouse and start to cry. And then immediately stop ...

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I came here to write about my mood, my first EMDR session, and then get into birthday stuff… Instead, in trying to copy/paste a too-long excerpt I ended up somehow writing over the entire length...

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It’s hard to keep everything front of mind, and not let this brain of mine run with the bullshit it makes up. I have been hyper emotional lately, and there’s a few good reasons for it, but instea...

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I saw Tina again. I say Tina with a hint of disrespect, but it isn’t warranted, just my own stupid bias. I really would like to call her Dr. LastName, but she’s a hyphenate and that makes me craz...

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I stole this from Midorinokaeru aaaages ago, it’s been sitting in my drafts for a while. Answers were updated to today. I reserve the right to delete stupid fucking questions. Life Goal: Love as...

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I’ve been feeling quite low since the thunderstorm. It feels unnatural, uninstigated. There’s been a buzzing in my core that feels like anxiety, but I have no idea what I’m feeling anxious about....

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Many years ago, 2012 I think, I had an encounter in a gravel pit with a growling Rottweiler. I screamed bloody murder for help as it advanced on me. I was barefoot, with floppy summer shoes in ha...

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As much as I have been seeking, I have been avoiding. The fact that I don’t write with any regularity tells me this is true. I have no excuse - I need no excuse - I’ve just been over here doing l...

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So I’ve been on Guanfacine for about 2 weeks, and I think I notice some changes. First of all, I’m sleeping like the dead. I am a rare ADHDer who doesn’t have a co-morbid sleep disorder. I’ve sle...

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My boss is a fucking gem. I swear every other interaction with him works to restore my hope for a career in this organization. Today he was talking to a coworker about their fucked up promotion/...

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M has been discharged!!! I was not thinking it was going to happen, he had IV meds when I got there at 8. But after they kicked in he ate his breakfast unassisted, walked around the room, we had ...

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I seriously doubt it will happen, but today was a much better day and the doc implied that M could leave tomorrow. There’s two stages that I think are confusing people in my previous entry. When...

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Man, if I’d written this when I came back from lunch it’d be a completely different entry. He was so lucid! We had a pretty good conversation. We chatted with nurses and the doc. Things were look...

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I woke up to a voicemail from M. We don’t do voicemail with each other. His pained voice telling me he’s calling an ambulance. I don’t hear from him again until after noon. Mom, my sister and I ...

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