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Sleep is a prison cell I keep finding myself returning to
locked inside with all the bedmates of my past.
The bars slam shut
and I am faced with the hundreds of stains
covering the bed with p...
I am working through this trauma.
This trauma you gave me.
But this trauma is the loud,
screaming your name at
the top its lungs
until nothing else fits in my head
the shallow earth bursting wi...
sometimes late at night when i’ve had too much fear to drink i wish you had hurt me
physically, i mean
the kind of hurt that leaves bodies and trails
scratches and slaps and bruises on arms or hi...
i was easier to listen to when i was only love and light
now that suffering has crept into my voice you look away
into the distance of the past
where i only loved you
i didn’t need love back
i never wanted to be your wife
i wanted to be your salvation
the gentle promise of hope on the horizon
that would breathe recovery into your addiction and make it bleed on the ground
i have found memory
she was scared of you
so afraid she hid beneath quiet
breathing and silent hope for kindness
she was scared by you
and every other man that touched her
saw her skittish nature...
you treat me like a casualty
of the war inside your head
“Just talk to someone.”
the messenger list of who i’ve been talking to is a problem. i just don’t trust any of them.
“You have to trust a couple?”
sure. maybe. they’ve got big capital P problems....
once I poured my loneliness into the void
where language was my lover
i’m tired of this pain you put in me
keep it in your own heart; mine is occupied by the scars you left behind.
tonight is the first night of fear
it sits in my stomach and chews away at the intestines
reminds me of the love i bear even as i shed my lovers like dreams upon waking
it lives on what ifs and c...
the world bears witness to your grief
stricken tears, public loss
dreams you must kill in exchange for
mourn the loss of me
create space for yourself to fully feel the void
you drift away.
swallowed within the void of your heart
glass walls fogged with regret sit between us
droplets of promises we’ll never keep
memories unmade fade around us
we could never save us f...
i need you to be in love with me.
not love me.
smile stupidly when you see me.
drown me in your need.
let me fill you up with all of me.
i will pour myself inside of you
find a home ...
suck on the bones of
our decaying remains.
consume the marrow
swallow our essence
let it transform you:
body, soul, heart
eat of us
grow fat on vindication
scoop out ou...
i want to celebrate this life
i’ve had with you.
To the towers now toppling
the myths unraveling
the dreams undiscovered
the beauty untouched.
Our great city built on in-jokes and broken promise...
step into my dreams
from the ocean i nightly drown in
blow oxygen from your heart
to kindle mine
i keep the page with your chicken scrawl handwriting.
notes for a meeting.
name. time. place. a number.
that kind of meeting, important
Things Get Done and Decided.
a meeting that means nothing t...
i am a stepping stone to your best self
designed for your self discovery
created for your grand epiphany
ears for listening
eyes for witnessing
hands for comforting
heart for loving
i am all you ...
you stripped safety in your need.
waking from frightened sleep
to your thrust and grunt
your weight on my body
over and over and over again.
i stopped sleeping in our bed,
you decried a sign of d...
help me discover myself
in the void of the world i need to hear your voice. an anchor.
spreading wings with plucked feathers scattered on the sacred ground where you stand
steady, stoic face and...
i can’t be measured with you.
You rip reason from hands
and leave behind
bits of poems and tea leaves.
they promise things without names
we won’t name, secretly name, lingering with
fear and hesi...
your eyes on me, not mine;
meal to be consumed
prey to be hunted
creature to be tamed.
devour me with hunger’s gaze
fingers lined with starvation
my flesh, a feast.
you were loved