Entries 2,568

Page 102 of 103

51) Room: White walls, grey carpet, unbelievable amount of storage space, road cone acting as coathook 52) Closet: Which one? 53) School: Not at school 54) Bed: I think it is a double bed 55...

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Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase “It’s not fair” 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must b...

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Due to increasing products liability, beer manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers. Warni...

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1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are ...

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Well I am finally back at Uni. Am I glad to be back? Yes and no. Yes because I have a room to myself and decent nights out to look forward to. No because I miss all of my friends back home (...

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This is one of my favourite Manics/depression songs ( and amazingly for me it is a cover). It also appears in M*A*S*H* (the film) Through early morning fog I seeVisions of the things to beThe ...

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Abandon all hope all ye who press enter here… …A chicken and an egg have sex. Afterwards the egg lies there, satisfied, smoking a cigarette and the chicken says moodily “Well, I guess we answe...

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Sorry I have not written in here for a while but my internet access is limited while I am at home. A few random things. I am going to the Leeds festival. Yay! I will get to see Eminem (and g...

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1) Choose your singer(s).Any females that you choose must have two talents. These MUST be located between the neck and the bottom of the rib cage and be very noticable. Males must be as close ...

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Yes people, I have finally finished my exams. YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And my last exam (yesterday) was the easiest of...

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TOP 10 SIGNS THAT YOUR SON HAS GROWN TOO OLD FOR BREAST FEEDING 10. He can open your blouse by himself. 9. While suckling at one breast, he caresses the other. 8. He has developed a bad ha...

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These were e-mailed to me and I just had to share them with you. Florida A thief burst into the bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yell...

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First exam tomorrow…HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Head like a (black) hole Everytime I learn something new, it pushes all the old stuff out The boy done wrong again ...

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“Love isn’t brains, children, it’s blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will.” Spike, Lovers Walk. And who said you never learn anything from TV? That’s why I love Buffy so much. Al...

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I have a report which is due in on Tuesday. It is 100% of my marks for this module. So, I get writing and get into a position (no dirty minds here except mine) where a bit more research and so...

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Further to my last entry: 1) I have finished the retype of my report, 2) I cut around 100 words out of my report, 3) I am still now around 100 words closer to my minimum target then I was whe...

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Appy-pooly-loggies of this causes offence Eminem, Bad Influence: ‘The worlds already f**ked, I’m just adding to it.’ Belle & Sebastian, If Your Feeling Sinister: ‘If your feeling sinister,...

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By E. A. Poe Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a ta...

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But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing further then he uttered — not a feather then he fluttered ...

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…go for a couple of drinks. The Polo buys the first round and, when they get their drinks, BAM! The Polo downs his in one. He then looks at the Fruit Pastille who is sipping his pint and says...

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OK first of all: Abusive notes. Has anyone else noticed that when someone leaves an abusive note they NEVER sign it? Why? What are you people so scared of? If I’m gonna insult you, I’ll let...

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Cheers to Silhouette. 1.) What’s your name? Will Forbes 2.) Do you wear a thong thong thong thong? Nope 3.) Have you ever had a close call with death? not that I know of 4.) What’s the most ...

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By Belle & Sebastian Girl: L-O-V-E Love,It’s coming back, it’s coming back,L-O-V-E Love,It’s coming back, it’s coming back, Boy: Refer to our discussions,Confirm the terms of our love affa...

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I have noticed that albums are like busses. You wait ages and then three come along at the same time. Three albums I have been waiting for and want are released in three consecutive weeks. I ...

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At an amazing press conference today, Microsoft owner Bill Gates anounced an amazing partnership between the firm and the Prince of Darkness. As is well known, the devil needs to own the souls ...

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