Just Stop... in 2019

I am so sick of everything, but especially work.

Today I got to listen to how I’m not involved enough because I didn’t answer an email at 7pm on Friday. I admit I’m not involved enough, but when I stayed home sick on Friday, I’m probably really not going to answer an email that night. Yes, we had a lot of rain, but I was at my house, and if my boss needed me for anything, he would have called me.

It’s annoying though… because I know I’m not involved enough operationally, but a lot of that is because I’m a girl and they don’t involve me unless I just happen to hear something and push myself into it or my boss directly tells them to involve me. And on top of that, there’s like 8 million other little things that I do and I never seem to have anything caught up. I’m just frustrated.

I have decided that I really need to be on some anxiety meds. I am sick of the constantly clenching my jaw and nonstop headaches and not being able to relax seemingly ever. So I made an annual appointment for tomorrow afternoon and I’m going to talk to the dr about it. I also need an inhaler refill.

I’m going to make myself get up earlier and do better. I admit I’ve been slacking, but I haven’t really been able to focus long enough to do anything about it.

In other news, I had a surprise baby goat born over the weekend. We had so much rain that my barn basically became a mud pit. And James got put through the wringer because he volunteered to help me clean out the goat barn. By halfway through he was like I’m so over this manly shit. It sucked a lot because the straw was entirely saturated. Either way we managed to get it done. He must love me huh? My house is still a wreck, but I’m hoping to deal with that some tonight.

I just want everything to stop hurting.

Last updated July 10, 2020