long lost in 2017

3:58pm

Well, I definitely did not see that one coming!!

I swear, if you ever thought I was kidding about how the Universe likes to mess with me, I’ve got more proof for you!

You will not believe who called me at the office like an hour and a half ago! Nope, not TF. Not even close!
It was none other than CK! and he’s back in town for a week, and I’m probably going to see him tomorrow, and holy cow what the hell just happened?

It’s been what? Like 2 years since I’ve seen him? Unless you count that one moment last April when I’d finally decided to let go and then saw him pass us on the street. We never did have any contact though. I haven’t heard his voice or had a conversation with him in 2 years. It’s crazy how quickly that time flew by.

The phone rang and I turned around in my chair to glance at the caller id and it said something about engineering and I thought “I know that name…where do I know that name from?” But you only get so many rings before you have to pick up the line so I didn’t have much time for it to click. But it clicked as I was giving my spiel and I heard that rough cowboy voice - “Hey there, how’s it goin” and then I hesitated to respond. I didn’t want it to seem like I totally knew who it was after not hearing his voice in 2 years. hah. He quickly added, “this is C K”.

I went on to ask if he was back in town now. Just for a week and a half. He asked how everything was going and what we were up to. I said something about it being busy and he said he was calling to see if we had time for someone to come do paperwork. Then he goes, “hell, I should probably stop by to say hi anyway but yeah.” I agreed with that. Because seriously, it’s been so long. There was a time there where I thought we’d actually become friends so it was weird when he disappeared.

I mean, I’m so far over that. The thoughts have been pretty minimal since things clicked for me last April. But my mother literally just mentioned him yesterday! Which makes his phone call even crazier today!! I was skimming through a magazine and saw these nice plant holders made of metal and pointed them out to her. I was saying something about needing to meet a welder and she goes, “If CK were here he’d be able to do them right away.” I laughed because I’d had the exact same thought but didn’t want to bring him up. It was weird for her to mention him though. She hardly ever does. So add that on top of the fact that it was just yesterday and it’s so hard to believe.

I’ll admit, one of my first thoughts after I hung up the phone was: I wish I could tell TF that he’s about to lose his shot.
I don’t even know why I had that thought. I’m not going to get involved with CK again. He’s only in town for a week! But it was just the thought of him being back. What crazy weird timing. I’m telling you the universe gets me every time. I mean I just had all these revelations and eye opening breakthroughs in regards to TF and now long lost CK is back in town and he’s calling me and I’m going to see him again and wow.

[sidenote: This anxiety in terms of the situation with TF doesn’t make sense to me. Like why? We’re nothing. He doesn’t care about me or my feelings. I know things aren’t going to go my way no matter how hard I try. But damnit. I really wanted him. And I sure as hell didn’t want to feel this way about anyone else. So I don’t know. It’s stupid. It’s not like I’m cheating on him or doing anything even remotely shady. I’m just doing what the world suggests. Living life the only way I know how.]

There’s supposed to be a bbq on Sunday with the neighbors because the J gang are going to be in town and our neighbor invited us a few weeks ago. I’m not sure she’s ever invited us over for a bbq before so that was interesting. And at least once I had the thought that maybe CK would come into town to see them but I figured there’s no way in the world that’s going to happen so I let it go and moved on.

But there he was, on the phone, telling me how he’s become a resident of Alaska and making plans to come in tomorrow after I asked if it was too soon or he wanted to wait until next week. As of right now he’s coming in at 2pm tomorrow. He’s about as spacey as all the other guys I know though so I won’t be surprised if he shows up late and/or forgets. haha. It’ll be nice to see him in the office setting though instead of just randomly running into him at the bbq. That would have thrown me so off guard!

Crazy though right? The timing!? The randomness of it all!

I’m a little in shock I think.

Now I have to go home and figure out what the hell to wear tomorrow! ;)

rose.
6:06pm

p.s. holy shit, let’s add to the crazy - I just posted this, saw the entries from previous years, clicked on 2016 and this is the very same date that TF first started to flirt with me. The first day I realized that it was even possible that he’d think of me in that way. The first real mention of him. One year ago today he made a comment that spiraled into where we are now. The coincidences are just too much for me to handle today! wow. just wow....

Last updated March 24, 2017