Bullshit ;-) I get meditation. The monkey brain racing thoughts. You are ADDING to the lives of humans by being a teacher. I suspect or you sound like a male. You are taking care of mind and body. Take the peace that exists at the end of every breath and bring it to the non-meditation times. Great you go to the gym. "Authentic Self" is like the primal YOU. Your core sincere real honest no bullshit personality. Face it. I found mine after being down on myself a long time. Bro, you doing good. Your big thing is your self-esteem issues. Something to talk to your therapist about. Are all these negative feelings REAL and VALID? Fuck no. Teaching is stressful. Look at the GOOD you are doing instead of being so down on yourself. Been there but not as a teacher ;-) You are doing FAR better than you think. What you think you will feel. Look at your positives and focus on those as a FACT of your existence. The negatives are just opinions by yourself and some. Don't compare yourself to others or their achievements. You doing fine bro. Be cool!