Miss Chiffs Manager ⋅ 37 ⋅
Mom! / Biodynamic Urban Farmer / Naturopathic Doctor / Anthroposophist / Mystic / Avid Reader / Writer Extraordinaire / In Pursuit of Moral, Physical, and Intellectual Excellence.
The ending is written into the beginning
Entries 648
Page 23 of 26
I find it very annoying that you come back with these excuses. I have noticed this pattern repeating in fashion for the last year or so, since we began talking about my childhood. You said to me...
Attachments and Bonding in Journal
I realize now that I bonded with animals when I was very young. What brought on this realization was observing how our mutual pet cats effortlessly bring out excitement, affection, adoration, an...
I feel like I’ve fallen down a deep dark hole, but perhaps not as bad as it could be. That’s how I always feel, though. In he depths of depression, I deny my own pain and focus on self erasure. ...
is my world, now. He wasn’t before, but he is now. And I’m actually okay with that. I’m quite frankly in love with that. I really love the fact that I can think about HIM and HIS needs, what HE w...
Cows and Mud in Dreams
Last night the memorable part of my dream… I was outside and looking around my pasture, to see where the cows needed to go. I was looking at the grass and how shorn it was, noticing that none of ...
My default is to forestall feeling my emotions before I even have a chance of being aware they’re there. I found a great place to start expressing myself where I feel safe enough to accept feedba...
Attention. Holding a background & foreground of ideas, opinions, feelings, etc, of opposing views is a mark of maturing attention. “On the other hand,”, “In contrast..”, “I’m angry with you b...
Thank Glob in Journal
Babe slept 6 hours straight for the 3rd night in a row. I’m so happy. We had a big day yesterday. An almost 5 hour round trip to go pick up a cow. Yes, I bought a cow with my stimulus money =’D ...
Grounding is the Shit in Journal
If you don’t know what it is, look it up. You won’t be disappointed. For the last year and a half, I have been slowly making our house less health antagonistic. Ie, had DH rewire the old ungroun...
The End of the Middle-? of the End in Pregnancy Journal
I wish I knew what caused the Poly. I’m convinced that is why my water broke. We weren’t ready; him or I. it was just the sheer pressure that popped my membranes. I feel like everything that hap...
Stay Off of Social Media in Journal
Stay off of social media. Stay off of social media. Stay off of social media. Stay off of social media. Stay off of social media. Stay off of social media. Stay off of social media. Stay off of s...
The Middle? of the End in Pregnancy Journal
Tuesday morning I woke up in intense pain from a strong contraction. They were of a different sort than those I had experienced up to that point. I was still very sleepy and tired, but thrilled t...
I’m gonna cry and that’s okay. I am so sad. People are mean and nasty. They’re just plain rude. Even people I know in real life are downright insulting and invite their friends to a pile on whe...
The Beginning of the End in Pregnancy Journal
I need to write a conclusion to this pregnancy journal. So why not do it by sharing my birth story. Full disclosure. It will be long. It will be horrible. Js. The start of my birth story was ve...
Oh My Glob. in Journal
So much has happened. I guess that’s what I get for not making an entry for months. But hey. I had a baby, yo. It’s really difficult to know where to start. So I guess I’ll just write what’s on...
Do I Bother Telling the Truth? in Journal
Often, as I listen to myself talking, wondering just what I will say, I realize that some platitude is about to be ejected. These platitudes are always universally acceptable, aren’t true or are...
Belly Belly Belly in Pregnancy Journal
My midwife and assistants absolutely loved my belly. It’s been a full 8 weeks since I saw my midwife, since she was at a birth during my last prenatal visit. I don’t remember exactly when my big ...
This one was quite interesting. Usually I can tease out some sort of allegorical meaning from my dreams, and this one eludes me. I know there is something there, but it seems quite deep. I dream...
Weight... in Pregnancy Journal
Weight gain, weight loss, muscle mass, strength, energy. I’m getting bigger and bigger all the time but the scale hardly moves. I started out this pregnancy at fighting weight (literally), and I...
Guess the Emotion in Journal
It’s a new game I’m playing. Pretty much all the time. When I have the time, anyways. That’s not entirely true. I’m well aware of my ability to DO absolutely anything and everything in order to ...
Now I remember. in Journal
Why I decided that being open and honest and genuine with people is just the worst. People are catty and mean. They are selfish, and self serving. The general public is also just plain ignorant....
Apparently, I need more Fluff. in Journal
My therapist told me to use more fluff- as in emotional reasoning to connect- to dampen my communicative approach. Which is completely frustrating. You don’t reason with emotions, first of all. ...
It's Ironic in Journal
“Spare the rod, spoil the Child,” Ironic that an age old proverb is used to defend a barbaric practice that we’d rather not examine. An oxymoron, really. This proverb must be taken out of context...
On Choice. in Journal
I had an interesting discussion with DH yesterday. Like a hardcore 2.5 hour in depth sharing about our family dynamics. My concerns in the conversation really centered around the stance that h...
always seems to do it’s own thing. They say the eyes are the window to the soul. I don’t know what the face is a window to. But for me at least, it seems to be a window to some inner world with ...
