Miss Chiffs Manager (One) ⋅ 38 ⋅

Mom! / Biodynamic Urban Farmer / Naturopathic Doctor / Anthroposophist / Mystic / Avid Reader / Writer Extraordinaire / In Pursuit of Moral, Physical, and Intellectual Excellence.

The ending is written into the beginning

God

Entries 736

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I just realized that I’m psychic. Not in a vague way. In a very specific and intense way. It has often occurred to me that something that I’ve experienced as if it were my own- a thought, a ...


I feel ready to confront the terror of the possibility that my dreams or intent may have a direct effect upon reality. You know, it’s like that moment in Harry Potter when Hagrid asks Harry if...


February 13, 2026

The Twelfth House Plutonian in Essays

The house of Pisces is the last house; twelve of twelve. As such it is the crescendo of the entire zodiac, taking up into itself every aspect learned from the journey through every other sign. T...


February 13, 2026

Fear in Journal

There is a great deal of fear still to feel, It’s in my body. It warms me. I think of my children and wonder if they are to experience hardship that even I have not known. And it scares me … ...


February 09, 2026

I am Resentful in Journal

of my mom for telling me that my feelings aren’t okay. That I can’t have my feelings, whatever they may be. Most especially resentful around the feelings of how her own actions and decisions imp...


February 05, 2026

Trust in Journal

And Faith Seem interwoven in a bedrock of meaning throughout my life. My mind races and tries to put 2 and 2 together; frantic to figure it out. Anxiety drives my mind to dwell, to ponder, to...


February 02, 2026

Unselfconsciousness in Meditations

This morning I felt such a loudness in my heart. It was overwhelming; literally all I could hear, all I could focus on, all I could feel. When I sat to meditate, I felt my heart like a huge vibr...


January 30, 2026

Life gets Stranger in Journal

I ve entered the strangest place I’ve been, so far. So funny how that’s always the case. Life only gets more strange. It gets more unexpected. It only goes in one direction. There’s never an...


January 22, 2026

Speak and it shall in Journal

Be so. I am not the one who has it all together and “is okay” no matter what; I am receptive and open to receiving and giving support, challenges, love, judgements, and resources. I am not r...


Quite the same after having a baby. After breastfeeding, any time I feel turned on I immediately think oh shit, I’m going to start leaking! And have to find some way to run to a bathroom and ch...


January 14, 2026

I'm scared in A Childhood Lost

I’m really really really scared Of myself Of what seems to happen around me Whan I feel or don’t feel There seems to be real world consequences Not for me But for everyone around me I d...


January 14, 2026

Sometimes, in Journal

I don’t know what to do I get these instances of compelling urges to do things that don’t make sense. And, especially when I percieve that I’m making a decision that affects someone else, I he...


January 10, 2026

It's 911 in Journal

9th of January and 2026 is a 1 year. There is a phenomenon which I dubbed the “911 rule”, in which events taking place between September 8th and 12th have a special resounding quality that car...


January 09, 2026

Another World in Dreams

I can’t recall what I had been doing or thinking all day. It is exactly like I began dreaming. And when I’m in n the dream, only what is pertinent to the current experience is present for me in ...


January 07, 2026

Epiphany in Meditations

Came and went quietly in our home. It was the Last Holy Day of Christmastide, and the last day of presents, decorations, Christmas music, and it seems like, a certain mood of subtle power and di...


January 01, 2026

I Stayed in Dreams

in my dream … As I move around the house this morning, toiletries, passes, vitamins, water. I feel as I’m walking through the character of my dream. I woke to my alarm and immediately went bac...


interacts with my unique structure and produces thoughts and feelings in me entirely distinct, individual, and irreproducible. There will never be a feeling or thought exactly like the one I ju...


December 31, 2025

We Are Not Our Thoughts in Essays

I believe hardly anyone actually believes this. And hardly anyone takes it to the extremes that it could be taken to. It is true; we are not our thoughts. It’s absolutely true. Take this c...


December 31, 2025

Do We Really Know in Dreams

Who and what we are? I had the thought in a dream last night, about my name. It should have been Monica I thought. I recalled my parents and their shallowness- their refusal to acknowledged any...


December 31, 2025

Solitude in Meditations

Is so lovely. I rarely have the chance, other than getting up very early before everyone else. When I get a chance during the day, though, it seems to charge my energy like nothing else. I sat...


a MOMENT right now. I dreamed about Capricorn. Yes… An astrological sign. An Earth sign. The sign of grounded doing. The goat climbs up the earth mountain. There is further mystery here, for ...


Is funny. One moment I know that I’m skeptical and expecting doubt. Then, it seems like only a short while later, I haven’t got a single doubt down to my bones. I’m ready to run off a cliff if...


December 28, 2025

Pour Moi in Journal

Everything is happening for me and not to me. Even this. Even this. Even this feeling of frustration, humiliation and loneliness is for me. How can I perceive it as such? How can I meet it pro...


December 28, 2025

Inversions of Femininity in Meditations

I have been pondering this conundrum for some time. The last I wrote about my perceptions in to the Feminine-Masculine dynamic was quite some time ago. I haven’t looked. Might’ve been spring o...


December 28, 2025

The Namesake in Journal

It has just now this very moment, after all these years, occurred to me that I have never explained my handle. Well, it’s my cat. Her name is Miss Chiff. She is the lord floof of this domain. ...


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