Miss Chiffs Manager ⋅ 37 ⋅
Mom! / Biodynamic Urban Farmer / Naturopathic Doctor / Anthroposophist / Mystic / Avid Reader / Writer Extraordinaire / In Pursuit of Moral, Physical, and Intellectual Excellence.
The ending is written into the beginning
Entries 647
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An Update in Meditations
It’s so difficult to remember what day something happened anymore. I constantly check the calendar. My sense of time has gone completely. Uuhg. Duh. I just remembered I started that mushroom s...
I Need to Remember This in Dreams
I had a feeling that I’d dreamt something of great importance. Something that I needed to remember. I need to remember this I thought to myself, repeatedly. I had a sense of a world spanning...
and Humility. Always in balance. Always dancing and throwing more shit for the other to catch! Lmao On the front of work and giving and striving to “evolve”- I have realized I’m stalling and ...
Trigger and in Journal
Feelings of anxiety constrict my chest. “Now you’ve made a mess.” I cringe. I say that sometimes, when my kids make a mess. It’s a funny thing to say. We already know there’s a mess. Why say i...
I’ll preface the by saying that this dream was very unusual for me. The overall feeling is confusion. Unexpectedness. Completely off the wall. In my dream, I was driving my grandmother and one...
Enneagram and Meyers-Briggs in Journal
I’ve been on a hunt, of late, to satisfy my interest in my self. Small self, if that wasn’t obvious. I am enneagram numbers 4 and 8. First, number 4: The Individualist. Fours are self-awar...
Spiritual Bypassing in Journal
It has been suggested to me that I am spiritually bypassing. I didn't know what that meant so I looked it up. Spiritual bypassing refers to the tendency to use spiritual beliefs and practices...
Quiet Peace in Journal
and gratitude fills my heart today. I recognize now like one looking back on a dream, that even my want to defend myself against my mother’s egoic ignorance is a wounded healer dynamic. Gratit...
Just Because in Journal
I’m an aquarian, doesn’t mean I’m an asshole. I’ve had a hellova time. Reading my chart, back in the day.... felt really depressing. My sun is square to my ascendent. I’ve got four (4) yes, FO...
I dreamt that I was at some place with my kids. It seemed like an ordinary place, but the people there were very primitive. I don’t mean their culture or race or anything meaningless like that. ...
Superficial in Journal
I suddenly feel so reminiscent of my mother’s comforting pass times. I got up before dawn, came down in the dark quiet and meditated undisturbed for as long as I liked. I got up and did a few ch...
I have dreamt the last few night about being in the character of each zodiacal sign. At least, I believe that I have been in each of them. Some of them I don’t remember. But, as I come to with...
I feel so Connected in Journal
to the nature of this realm. To cognizining it’s nature and feeling mine; as they interact, and unfold in Beautiful synchronicity. I feel the presence of the Earth, and the Sky. Even as I type...
AI is an Egregore in Meditations
was a post that I saw, yesterday. From an old acquaintance who, recently, has been taking on the mantle of anti-patriarchal pagan witch champion. Of course it is, I thought. Of course it is. ...
On the Journey to Impeccability in Journal
As I began to review my list from just under a month ago, I feel struck by the first line. I didn’t read any further. I feel impressed upon, and awe. I don’t even remembered writing this, but t...
The Space in Meditations
inside me seems to mirror the external world. I feel so expansive. I see the neediness for connection and it’s response- defensiveness of personal space; the wish for a protector warrior with ...
That light shines brightest in the darkest hour. If the year were a day, that hour is now; Scorpio’s transparent moon, or as most call it, the new moon. Scorpio of course, being the sign of t...
There is a certain amount of balance in the world, if we are perceptive enough to notice it. My shame, or, being one who is aware of feelings of shame, allows me to perceive the absolute belong...
The Consciousness Aperture in Meditations
If BioGeometry has taught me anything, it is the absolute fallacy of the belief that we can be objective, or limited to physically perceptible phenomena. The first time I swung a pendulum, and...
Something beautifully strange in Meditations
About the sky tonight After I finished doing a clearing of myself, and then the 3-mile radius map image of the area surrounded our home, as I often do, I sensed and felt surreal things. When ...
I was fighting, screaming, in A Childhood Lost
clawing to stay in my shell. I was dragged out. Humiliated. Shamed. Beaten. I crawled back in. Over and over. Now, it seems, the only way I expect love to come to me is through being dragg...
Kids flying kites in Journal
And other things I feel exhaustion. Weariness. I remember coach K responding to my question about fear of my father. “How do you know?” He asked me. How, indeed. I wish that I didn’t know....
Our new little man Mister Floof gets his procedure today. We never vaccinate, and try to get into the natural vet, but they are booked for 6 months. Would appreciate any prayers that the vet do...
Something came to me, in Journal
As they do; in the silence. I have wondered about the difficult times. The times where I felt scared, angry, helpless and just wanted it to stop. I just wanted people to stop demanding that I ...
Life in pictures in Journal
Is Beautiful I can’t describe how breathtaking life has become. It is very mentally contradictory. I have t done much. I don’t deserve it. And yet, it is. P.S. I wonder if anyone can ...
