Pretend Mulling ⋅ 32
I've never been able to plan my life. I just lurch from indecision to indecision.
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Is it just me… Or is the Big Penguin Race in Cool, Cool Mountain HARDER than Bowser in the Fire Lake? Because I’ve beaten Bowser in the Fire Lake. But this penguin. This FUCKING penguin. On its f...
Open Letters, Vol. 2 in The Real Pretend Mulling
Dear Walmart: I get that you’re an evil entity and also behind most of the legislation that keeps the minimum wage at well-below poverty level. Got it. You’re also the only place that I can eve...
What do you think the “Wait, smoking is bad for you!?” revelation of our generation will be? In order:1. “Wait, alcohol is actually a dangerous, mind-altering narcotic that can cause you to do so...
Dear professors for online classes: in The Real Pretend Mulling
Have a weekly Zoom chat OR have a discussion board. Don’t have both. Actually, just get rid of the discussion board altogether. Because literally every single one of them boils down to this: H...
Know shit, Sherlock in The Real Pretend Mulling
Before I go on: This is a post about people on Facebook being stupid. I know, that’s a phenomenon that shouldn’t surprise me anymore, and it doesn’t. I’m more surprised by just how stupid people ...
What drives you on can drive you mad in The Real Pretend Mulling
I got my taxes “done” today. In quotes, because apparently, if you qualify for the actually-free TurboTax version (and I did, since I made less than $30,000 last year), they won’t let you access...
Media Edition, Part 3 What movie do you absolutely refuse to watch and why? The Emoji Movie, because I am neither drunk, stupid, or five years old. Who’s one celebrity you don’t understand the hy...
Update from last entry: in The Real Pretend Mulling
The COC was received and processed by the BMV, and my license is valid again. I spoke with a representative and told them I’d never received any notification about any of this. They say they se...
I got a call from my boss at my second job, telling me that a recent background check told him my license had been suspended. This was news to me, so I went to my state’s BMV page and looked it ...
Rush Limbaugh is dead. in The Real Pretend Mulling
I’ll just leave this here…
Welcome to my brain. Again. in The Real Pretend Mulling
No one: Absolutely no one: Me, trying to concentrate on an exceptionally dense paper for my philosophy of disability class: My brain: On repeat. For hours. This is almost worse than having “Ba...
Just Dance Unlimited is missing some things... in The Real Pretend Mulling
Namely… I am really upset that “What You Waiting For,” “Gonna Make You Sweat,” and “Pump Up the Jams” aren’t in Unlimited. I mean, I’m sure it’s due to licensing issues, and Ubisoft is working ...
From now on... in The Real Pretend Mulling
Every time my supervisor wants to call a meeting, he should just send around an email saying, “So, we’re giving you even more work, because someone who’s never been in this department and probabl...
I need that third stimulus check in The Real Pretend Mulling
SO MANY DOCS. SO MANY LIMITED EDITION DOCS. Also: ColourPop, Y U NO HAVE BLACK EYESHADOW?!
Well, screw MGM, then. in The Real Pretend Mulling
Look at this. This is an almost-finished remaster of Goldeneye 007, one of my all-time favorite games. It was set to come out in the mid to late 2000s, on both Xbox and Wii. It is beautiful. ...
Well, y'all knew this was coming. in Surveys, Challenges, and Other Crap
Yup. The house survey. This thing is like glitter: It’s just.... everywhere. I’m going to find questions from this thing hiding under my desk when I move out, I swear. General What kind of h...
Lighten Up in The Real Pretend Mulling
I realize I’ve been a bit, well… shirty here, of late. I blame a trifecta of “haven’t left my house in two weeks,” “PMS,” and “I just found out how much I spent on DoorDash since I started quara...
Lemme bitch about: Textbook access codes. in The Real Pretend Mulling
I just paid $192 for an access code. That’s it. That’s the post. Okay, that’s not the post. Lemme ‘splain why I hate the cost of textbook access codes waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Letters: in The Real Pretend Mulling
Dear YouTube: Yes, I watched an iceberg video. Blameitonjorge did one on the lost media iceberg, and since lost media is a pet interest of mine, I thought it would be interesting. It was. Now ...
To fail up in The Real Pretend Mulling
I think I may have gotten the single stupidest call of my professional life just now. And to say that it’s left me thinking, “There really is no justice in this world,” for the last hour, is no ...
Doesn’t quite have the same ring as auf wiedersehen, but Germany isn’t the one who manufactured and spread false information about Democrats and the left during the 2016 election, are they. That ...
Five Songs Whenever: Inauguration Eve in The Real Pretend Mulling
Admittedly, I’m pretty sure the other shoe is just about to drop, but for now, how about some songs to play out the last four years? And to let the Orange Shitgibbon know just how much we’ll mis...
A cosmetics survey, I guess? in Surveys, Challenges, and Other Crap
Do you use eyelash curlers? Nope, just Maybelline Great Lash mascara in blackest black. What is your favorite bra? The two black, padded bras I have. Something I didn’t know when buying bras onl...
Cleaning with ADHD, Part 1 in The Real Pretend Mulling
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJ3wfqqh/ (Josh, how to embed TikTok videos, pwease?) I had put off cleaning my bathroom for six months. Deep-cleaning it, anyway; I scrubbed the tub and ran a cloth with ...
By Laura Devy No, my friend, we are not “sheeple” for wearing masks. Your insistence that mask mandates are infringing on your religious freedom infuriates me. Let me share with you why. Christma...
