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I am sorry for whatever I did that pissed you off. Sincerely. I’m going to start with the stuff I know I did: -Drove too fast in a school zone. -Wished strokes and violent deaths on: Trump, Giu...

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How many years until you’re 40? Eight years. Here’s the original answer to this question: “16, holy shit bare with me while I have an existential crisis” //cackles in just-turned-32// What’s a ...

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Making an “heartbreak” playlist, what songs should you add? This depends on what kind of reaction you’re having to it. Are you in that stunned phase where everything hurts, you’re pretty sure yo...

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To get an advent calendar full of booze-filled truffles, or not? I’m also arguing with myself about if I should try to save up for the Switch with Mario Kart 8 or not. I have never played any of...

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Someone uploaded the original print of A Charlie Brown Christmas to the Internet Archive! Complete with the Coca-Cola sponsor tags. The version most of us are familiar with is actually the revi...

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Am I happy to see Psycho Cheeto gone? Absolutely. Will I sleep well for the first time in four years, tonight? Probably. Do I think electing Biden and Harris is automatically going to change thi...

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Actually, I’m doing Josh’s survey, but I was running out of survey-related titles. (But seriously, why have none of the review channels I follow done WarGames? This is prime snark fodder!) Are ...

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Mail-in ballots are still being counted. According to a report I read in the New York Times, Democrats were more likely to mail their ballots this year than Republicans. As long as the ballot...

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Except to say, I mailed in my ballot in September, and was accepted back then. I had surgery to remove ingrown toenails this afternoon. One: Yes, I know that’s gross. Two, yes, like “knocked ...

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I got the estimate of the damage from my mechanic. At least $1700. The steering link/column/whatever it’s called is apparently beyond salvaging, so he’s ordering new parts. I’ve filed a claim ...

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I have no sympathy or pity for you. None. I have nothing in all this world for any of you, except my purest, utmost, completely unbridled hatred and contempt. Why? Because not ONE of you has ...

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I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVE! As does the r/AskReddit survey! What’s the best game soundtrack from your childhood? At the very top, Super Mario 64 and Goldeneye. The music from the subterran...

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October is the treasurer of the year, And all the months pay bounty to her store; The fields and orchards still their tribute bear, And fill her brimming coffers more and more. But she, with yout...

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Phantom of the Opera was a rock opera in the style of Tommy. Directed by Ken Russell and all. I have to admit, I want to see this version. But in that universe, instead of Steve Harley, can we...

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Why Orange Shitgibbon getting COVID is hilarious, ironic, and also why he isn’t worth anyone’s pity or sympathy. Bullet points: Orange Shitgibbon made fun of Hillary Clinton getting pneumonia o...

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“ Friends, For about a minute today I found myself feeling sorry for Donald Trump. The poor man is now “battling” Covid-19 (the pugilistic verb is showing up all over the news). He’s in the hospi...

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Helen Reddy, singer of “I Am Woman,” died yesterday. I hate to think that this is portentous, but her death, coming on the heels of Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s, just gives me a bad feeling all around. ...

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I hate falling down internet rabbit holes. Since I have a boring, fairly low-effort job, and since this week has been extremely slow at said job, I’ve taken to watching longplays of different vid...

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A liberal communications guru explains why playing into Trump’s demagoguery on the election or mass protests only helps his cause — and hurts Joe Biden’s chances of winning By Andy Kroll WASHINGT...

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If you’re like me, you went to get your mail last week, looking forward to your new issue of The New Yorker but also expecting an avalanche of junk mail. Then you opened your mailbox and found t...

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I was going to write something almost witty and possibly funny here about trying to quell the Drama Llama with “not tonight, I have a headache,” but… I found out that Ruth Bader Ginsburg died. Ju...

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I’ve been watching longplays of my favorite Nintendo games for at least two weeks. Fun Fact: This game is the actual sequel to Super Mario Bros. But, as you might see from this video, Lost Leve...

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So there’s this webcomic I read, The Jay Series (I will link to it, but be warned: This comic is not safe for work, life, the universe, or anything), and at one point, J. Grant suspended the stor...

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Algebra, Women’s Bodies Edition. If X represents the amount of weight I’ve lost in the last eight weeks (8 lbs), and Y is the former size of my bra (36D), solve for Z, the current size of my bra....

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What’s the last thing you ate?A drumstick off a Costco rotisserie chicken. What’s your favourite cheese?Bon sondage, j’adore le fromage. But if I really had to choose a favorite, butterkase. Wh...

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