Entries 3,460

Page 99 of 139

1.) I often wonder how much my needs/desires/viewpoint are shaped by running on the operating system of late 20th century American English. 2.) Events remind us that if someone’s screwed up and m...

---

1.) Fraternity reunions are full of brostalgia. 2.) All in all, my voice would be best suited to a doom-metal Built To Spill cover band. Probably called “Built To Kill” I dunno. 3.) Our first Pre...

---

8.) If your car’s got two flat tires, don’t worry, it’s still got a couple of goodyears left. 9.) Then there was of course that hit vegan country song “Don’t Sell Me No Thighs And Keep Your Ham T...

---

1.) Your diner/weed dispensary will be called THE HASH HOUSE. 2.) If I had to be a judge-themed wrestler, I’d definitely name myself “City Hall” so that I could yell “YOU CAN’T FIGHT CITY HALL!” ...

---

1.) On the one hand, here are all the good things I have screwed up and lost. On the other hand, despite all that, here I am still breathing. 2.) Your horror movie set in the 70s will be called F...

---

1.) Really, Dunkin, why would I want a coffee that tastes like a brownie? Couldn’t I just eat a brownie while drinking my coffee? 2.) A nightmare with every woman I’ve dated or had a serious crus...

---

1.) I refuse to respect or accept wealth that was built on fraud, power that was built on fraud, position that was built on fraud. 2.) I am going to be hijacking the hell out of the Logan movie’s...

---

1.) Your band will be called “Rebecca Romaine-Lettuce”. 2.) Happy VD everyone. may you all enjoy your VDs, in whatever form they take. 3.) Over a lifetime, a woman or a man is a plaything of the ...

---

1.) Focusing on what you want won’t get you anywhere, how to get it will only take you dark places. Ask why you want it instead. 2.) “I Would Do Anything For Love But I Won’t Do That” is an early...

---

1.) The bastards know that no educated populace would allow their reign of corruption & hate so they dismantle education. 2.) All I’m saying is Panera Bread would be a lot cooler if it were P...

---

1.) A great name for an autobiography would be “Naked From The Neck Up”. 2.) Our main hope is that these fascists have opened up battles on too many fronts at once and we can repel them as such. ...

---

1.) More than anything, Game Show Host was installed to hoard privilege that a few were born into from those who were born struggling. 2.) Stockholm Syndrome. If you’re not rich or a Nazi and yo...

---

1.) Maze. Your people call it “labyrinth”. 2.) Get old or die trying. 3.) Two ships passing in the dark long night of attempted meaning construction, just a couple of existential dreadnoughts. 4....

---

1.) Was a lot written in ‘30s Europe about how weirdly day-to-day the rise of fascism could feel if you ignored the news? We can write it now. 2.) It was the best of February rap battles, it was ...

---

1.) Are the streets of Athens covered in a bunch of Ath-holes? 2.) I’d rather we get out of this awful charade without violence. Is that my privilege showing how I’d rather not add vengeance to r...

---

1.) If being good at football gets a guy forgiven for supporting fascism, that’s an everything problem. 2.) The idiots who spend their time telling us we’re “sensitive snowflakes” now want to boy...

---

1.) Catholic schools are filled with teachers of habit. 2.) The Fraternious T.U.C.K. loves it when you call him Big Pauper. 3.) Sir Mix-A-Lot has a cousin who is an OB-Gyn, Sir Vix-A-Lot. 4.) Chi...

---

1.) The island of metaphor, the summer camp where nothing literally makes sense, I hadn’t been there in my dreams in years. It was dying. 2.) The secret party house, the place where people let th...

---

1.) The hardest gap to cross now is the Trump followers who know what’s happening but can’t admit it to themselves because of what it’d make em. They realize they accidentally backed white nation...

---

1.) We will be the living repositories of the histories the bastards try to erase. 2.) Blockin eggs BAYBEE/blockin’ eggs baby/TWIT-TER EGGS/twitter eggs/cmoncmoncmon baby now/c’mon baby/BLOCKIN E...

---

1.) Everybody put your hands up head-ish, wave ‘em ‘round like you’re apathetic. 2.) No Supreme Court justice can legitimately spring from a “presidency” that was illegitimately taken from th...

---

1.) (to the tune of “Bacon Pancakes”) Blockin’ Twitter Eggs/blockin’ racist Twitter Eggs/I take the blocker and I put it to the Twitter Egg/ain’t gonna talk/ain’t gonna beg/BLOCKIN’ SOME EGGS! ...

---

1.) False equivalence is the death of journalism. Giving hatemongers “equal time” isn’t fairness, it’s collaboration with Nazis. 2.) Flo always demanded we kiss her grits but we never even saw he...

---

1.) Point of order: don’t call him “Steve Bannon”, call him “known neo-Nazi propagandist Steve Bannon”. 2.) An alien describing the Super Bowl: “Rich people make minorities try to cripple each ot...

---

1.) Whenever someone mentions “slipping into their DMs” on Twitter, pretend you think they’re talking about sex with a D&D dungeonmaster. 2.) Hipster astronauts, always going on about their r...

---