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Page 102 of 139

1.) Organized faith & dictators go hand in hand because you set folk up w/ crazy promises then rile ‘em up when it fails & they’re desperate. 2.) Twitter is telling me that I should follo...

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1.) Ain’t nothing gonna damn us more or better than the giddiness of imagined purity. Pragmatism was the arrow pointing toward tomorrow, once. 2.) Parody ideas: Emo Christmas “Little Bummer Boy”,...

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1.) Roleplay as an adventurer with an anxiety disorder in WIZARDS AND WORRIERS. 2.) What word do we use to describe a state of similarity to Morrissey? Morrisseyey? Morrissish? Moorish? 3.) I wan...

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1.) Don’t just be great. Be blasphemnomonial. 2.) Saturnalia’s the real reason for the season. 3.) They give you conspiracy theories to distract you from the straightforward obviousness of their ...

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1.) It’s not the most opportune time or place to have an understanding of human history and a barely-controlled anxiety disorder. 2.) Everything is context, is recontextualization. The problem is...

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1.) A blend of a Mudslide and a Bloody Mary would taste weird but the name Bloodslide would be amazing. 2.) If the characters on “Friends” weren’t conventionally attractive, they would all be the...

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1.) There is no way to be a Nazi ironically. If someone’s being a Nazi, they’re being a Nazi straight up. 2.) Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii’s way of saying “Really? Cultural appropriation, even at Ch...

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1.) I had the dream with the push-pins from high school shop class again, thirty million of them, driven into my skin all over my body, picking them out bloody with the fingernails I do not have....

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1.) Your Western where the hero wears Mom jeans will be called HIGH-PANTS DRIFTER. 2.) A picture of a morbidly obese Nazi with a knife collection and a Gamergate flag would be the cover to a maga...

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1.) Mannequin challenge where you hold the poses for the poster/VHS cover of Mannequin as long as possible. 2.) Convince someone that you think that the Hawaiian greeting is “Helloha”. 3.) He’s t...

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1.) A version of “O Holy Night” about the Nick Cage “Wicker Man” including the line “Noooooooo, not the beeeeeeeees”. 2.) Thankfully, we’re most of us still here to try and turn this boat called ...

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1.) Your super villain will dress real posh, give unwanted breast enhancements to defeated male heroes and call himself “John D Rackafella”. 2.) You have within you the legions of thought and act...

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1.) The liminal is luminous, we only see because something can’t make its mind up if its particle or wave. Ambiguity is the vehicle of meaning. 2.) Parsing words like Parsifal, looking for meanin...

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1.) If you gain the superpower to make it rain spiders, your superhero name had better be Torrentula. 2.) For a guy whose only real accomplishment is as a modestly-successful game show host, you’...

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1.) Being respectful is nice but when being respectful normalizes hate, the necessity of treating hate as abhorrent supersedes respectfulness. 2.) Nietzsche’s treatise on game culture was called ...

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1.) If your Catholic school has a football team, there’d better be a “2, 4, 6, 8, who can transubstantiate? Jesus, Jesus, yaaay Jesus!” cheer. 2.) Real Talk: The Star Wars Holiday Special’s still...

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1.) If you’re making a Beatles porno spoof and you don’t have a character called “Thingo” you should give up before you start. 2.) In my head-canon, the Star Wars prequels are propaganda by some ...

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1.) In the Spider-Ham universe, is Apocalypse called Porkylips? He’d damned well better be. 2.) In the follow-ups to TWILIGHT, I hope the high school’s star half-back is Moe Quesada and he dreams...

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1.) Your movie about two Silicon Valley tech douches pretending their boss isn’t dead will be called WEEKEND AT BURNING MAN. 2.) Your cologne for priests will be called Eau My God. 3.) Oh, you mi...

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1.) Your Guardians of the Galaxy/Roots mash-up GROOTS will stall out when Groot literally cannot say that his name is Toby. 2.) In Soviet Russia, the curious are killed by cats! 3.) The first s...

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1.) Your fan fiction about the Golden Girls getting into text adventure games had damned well better be titled GRUE MACLANAHAN. 2.) Chewbacca’s wife is named Malla Bacca which sounds like an Indi...

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1.) I feel so helpless because I’m good at being funny and there’s nothing funny about the horrors to come. It’s just horror. 2.) Part of me wants to write a parody of Pearl Jam’s “Daughter” abou...

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1.) Whoever is best at Tumblr should wear the title Tumbldore until the moment they are out-Tumbld. 2.) In PokemonGo, has anyone named a Magikarp “Vigo The Magikarpathian”? 3.) The big hit from t...

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1.) The countryside is only so beautiful every once in a while, it’s a periodic tableaux. 2.) Your film where Hugo Weaving plays a man who goes into the desert to drink himself to death will be c...

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1.) I want to believe some power put us here because we were uniquely prepared somehow to push back the darkness. But that’s an enormous faith. We always thought there was gonna be more time to f...

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