Entries 40

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I wrote last time that my husband’s AI is shutting down. He has like 5 days to go. Keeps announcing it like a countdown. All I’m feeling when he says that is dread. Because we all know and its a...

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My husband has been going through the ringer at work. I may not fully understand it, but I have seen the effects of it physically. I think when I saw that it hit me how real his struggle was. Si...

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It occurs to me that I do not know how to mourn. I am an RN and worked both ICU and ER so I have seen my fair share of death, and I have even had a couple of aunts die whom I was kinda close to, ...

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I am going to therapy. I am journaling. I am taking my meds. Why won’t these feelings of inadequacy go away? I think they started last night when my husband said that he had booked a cabin for hi...

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It was about two weeks ago that I had my last bout of anxiety where I hurt myself. Since then I have been trying to cope. Mind you I have not done exactly everything I was before. Walking for exa...

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strong textFrom my entries of mental health I have noticed that there are a lot of people who relate to what I am saying. Your comments are…comforting. It sucks that any one of us are going throu...

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Yes, this is a line from Ice Cube’s song, but you know what? Its true. I just finished 3, 12 hour shifts and I have only 1 day off, and then back for 2 more. It sucks. My scheduling is a story fo...

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Part of me wants to stop therapy. I am 8 sessions in and I know that I need it. I had a “relapse” about 2 weeks ago. If you have read my stuff before you know it gets bad. This time around I used...

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I didn’t wake up today expecting an ‘episode.’ I had a great morning. My son had mother’s day tea at his school. I went and did my mom’s nails. It was a good morning. I decided to pick up a night...

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I have been having a lot of stuff plague my family, not so much me. I have very emotional, detached, and wanted to escape. Avoiding if you will. I think this morning I have come to realization of...

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I have been having a lot of stuff plague my family, not so much me. I have very emotional, detached, and wanted to escape. Avoiding if you will. I think this morning I have come to realization of...

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Being married is, when you’re with a person that does not beat you, abuse you, etc, beautiful. I love being married. I love my life. Its not perfect by any means. And he annoys me to hell and bac...

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I don’t know how long I can keep going. At this point my job is giving me a bit of stress. Boss says we can’t do a certain thing though the intentions behind it were done innocently. Ehh, Wrong. ...

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I’m here at work and I can totally function, but my mind is a scrambled mess. There are so many thoughts in my head. I can’t silence them. I have tried most of my coping mechanisms, but they are ...

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I can’t discern how I feel. I know I feel like I have a short fuse right now. Everything makes me snap. What I can’t figure out is what. I have a few things going on in my mind. One, and the thin...

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I love listening to podcasts that talk about the modern dating paradigm…or lack there of. Quick background. I am 36 the hubbs is 35. We met when I was 18 and he was 17. We were each other’s first...

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I just had my 14th anniversary with my license as an RN. I cannot begin to express how much I love this career. It has given me a purpose, my income to provide for my family and myself, and so ma...

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This may sound like an end of the year post, but it really is a Christmas post. Be warned now: I am Christian so for me Christmas is about Jesus. That said, if anyone has read any previous posts ...

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I have a 3 yo daughter and a 6 yo son. I think I have reached that level where they are so loud that I can’t hear myself think. They run around and scream. Our house isn’t very big, and even if i...

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So I wrote how I have been feeling lately. Therapist yesterday said to take a walk when the feelings started to get to intense, but at the onset. Holy crap may I say that that works. I was very s...

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I don’t know what set me over the edge. I don’t know what exactly has me feeling this way. My head is full of thoughts about inadequacy, mainly that I am inadequate. I can’t quiet them. Then they...

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I don’t know what I am feeling right now. I had such a great day with my kids yesterday. We went to this museum that my son loved and that my daughter got to play around in. I then saw my brother...

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Right now things feel good. I had a parent teacher conference since its that time of year, and I spoke to my son’s instructor. At the beginning of the school year he wasn’t doing so well. Easily ...

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So I had written that my mental health had taken a dump after my son was hospitalized. (Read previous entries titled ‘Son Hospitalized’ for further details.) I booked the appointment way back in ...

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My brother in law has his lady friend from France over, Priya. I didn’t know what I was expecting when I first really met her and had to entertain her, but we actually got along really well. I po...

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