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Our Youth Manager just told me that my position will likely be changing soon. I am not being utilized properly with my talents. He told me this after I flagged something in my team. Not to be a...

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My heart feels heavy today. I was aiming to do a community walk, but I was feeling a little down on my way to work. I am not desensitized to what I witness when I do those walks. I feel grief-...

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Woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of my neighbour screaming my name outside my window. Thomas wake up! I heard her say something about a fire. She saw my light turn on. Wake up Ton...

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“In Canada, Indigenous boys involved with the justice system are 5 to 7 times more likely to die by suicide. They are 7 times more likely to be victims of homicide. They are overrepresented in o...

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I dreamt I was back at my old job. I always wake up feeling hopeless. I did like the gig. I miss the people, but I was there for 3 years and never got a full-time position. I think I have some t...

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The workshop is over. I feel so much relief. I left with a fan base, again. The kookums, they’re my stans now. They saved the heavy part for last. What to do when a participant dies. I’m not t...

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Yesterday, we dropped off some meals for Jimmy’s family (the participant in my program who passed away.) His mother doesn’t know what happened either. His grandmother found him Wednesday morning...

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I would burn it all down if I could. I was very pointed in my texts with my coordinator yesterday. It’s been a year of carrying everything. Thinking of everything. Doing everything. Coordinati...

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I don’t trust my actions right now. Let alone my feelings. I know I am grieving, so I don’t know where anything is coming from, really. For example, this case I am building against my workplace,...

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My nervous system is thawing. I can feel what I am feeling. Jimmy keeps crossing my mind. It is only natural. I worked up the nerve to scroll through my phone and look at pictures and recordin...

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I’m hurting today. I woke up in the anger stage of grief. I don’t like to show pain or fear, but I can have a dramatic flare. I wore shades in the office because I was not in the mood to look ...

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One of the kids in my program passed away this morning. I don’t know what happened, but his mother texted me this afternoon to let us know. He was just 11 years old. I suspect that it was suicid...

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I have second-degree burnout, which is slowly getting worse. Since my hours changed for the summer, I have not had a single day all to myself. That space is oxygen, and I need it to breathe. I...

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“We know the statistics – that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop out of school; and twenty time...

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My camping trip was great. I’m just trying to get back into the swing of things. I was told that I am going to run my coordinator out of a job if I don’t step back. They need him to be account...

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What does it mean to be adult? Being an adult means doing things you don’t want to do. Nobody is coming to do things for us. Nobody is coming to make us put our phones down and go for a walk. ...

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I feel like I am starting to get my footing. What’s my existential drama now? ADHD can’t touch the routine part of the brain. My hours changed, now I can’t touch the routine part of my brain e...

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We took our kids north to go tubing down a river. It was beautiful there. The kids were complete kids about it. They had a blast. Last night, I dreamt that I walked out on it and quit my job. In...

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I thought I was about to witness a miracle. Last week, my roommate was so close to producing an original thought. Do normies have two aluminum-free brain cells to rub together? Question of the...

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Last night I dreamt that I was back to working at the home hardware store. I was not happy about it. The dream actually woke me up. This time last year, I was working there and I was strugglin...

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I don’t get to say this often, but thank god it’s Friday. I’ve been so disconnected from myself. Detached. I’m very aware that I have surrendered to my dopamine loops. A little suffering is goo...

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Things happen in threes I kept telling myself on Monday. A participant in a youth program at my office died by suicide over the weekend. A participant in my own program was hospitalized becaus...

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Yesterday was a heavy one. We learned that a participant in one of our youth programs died by suicide over the weekend. He was in the program I interviewed for. It is for youth transitioning ou...

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I really am a monster, sometimes. I don’t know why my mind needs to create an enemy construct. My roommate is not a bad person. She is not a good person; she is a whole person. I really have i...

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I can tell that my roommate is going through it, and I’m like… maybe she should be depressed. If I were her, I wouldn’t want to wake up and be happy with myself. If I start living my life the wa...

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