Entries 1,446
Page 4 of 58
Air
I feel like I have so much to say but I can’t get anything out. The getaway was nice but it is time to return to my so-called life. Lenstar’s neighbor was my math teacher at the Adult Education ...
Trippin'
It was a rough start to my trip on Friday. While I was loading my car, I managed to lock myself out of the building for 40 minutes. I dropped my keys at some point. I was rage-packing and got clu...
Thought Less
They are just thoughts. I have been telling myself. That is my current mantra. The missing piece that my therapist gave me. Today, my thoughts were racing so hard that it felt like a hole was bur...
Mood Poisoning
I went to bed angry and then I woke up angry. Then I went to work angry. It was a half day but I still left work angry. I don’t even know what I’m angry at. Maybe it’s andropause. Though my mood...
Water Fight
It’s been almost a week and I can’t get my stomach to act right. It’s like every bite I swallow feels like a sucker punch. After I quit smoking, I couldn’t handle smoke of any kind. After I quit ...
NRG
I just caught myself in avoidance mode. I feel like I have to rush to do all the little things so that I can tackle my crisis list after that. I’m going to stop dead in my tracks and just enjoy m...
Butterflies Continued
I still have butterflies for no reason. Well, I suppose there is a reason. I must be beside myself about my new car. While I was napping, I noticed that my stomach was throbbing, internally. I u...
Butterflies
I’m not sure what I was expecting with this car purchase. I felt let down for no reason last night. Just a scosh and for no reason. Somewhere in my psyche, I must have given it the script that it...
Mission Accomplished
I brought my 2021 Charger home today. I feel like I’m going to be sick. It’s just a lot to take in. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited about it! I didn’t get a chance to play with it because I had ...
TGIF
The week was long and full of terrors. I’m so glad that it is over. My mother sent me a text this morning. She is trying to burst my bubble. She is raining on my parade. She is… being my mother....
Guilty As Charged
I just made a $500 deposit to secure the 2021 Dodge Charger. I go in on Saturday to finalize everything. I am pretty excited about it. The search is over. I remembered that I had a status card s...
Chill Pill
Right after I wrote my entry yesterday I took a dip in the pool to cool off. My anger issues have been under control since I started going to bed at 8 PM. Though, it hasn’t been perfect. While I ...
Allegory of the Cave
The shock bled the red from my face. My roommate let her hair down the other day. She stepped in front of me and it was all I could see. Her alopecia has gotten worse. Who cares?! It didn’t do a...
Saga Continues
Besides the car hunt, how is life? My mother asked me. My life is on hold until further notice. This has been so exhausting. I am spooked by my upcoming shifts. It is a few weeks away but they d...
Heavy Dirty Soul/Dumb Ages
If my heart could beat it would break my chest. Sure, I have big brain energy but I forget that my heart is even bigger. My relationship with my mother is very precious to me. Her news makes my h...
Dumb Ages
My mother was diagnosed with COPD. She told me this morning. I haven’t had time to process it but I am feeling devastated. It’s pretty heavy on my heart. I keep getting flashbacks of my childhood...
Init Though
I can’t remember my dream last night. I just know that it was wild. I think it had to do with parallel universes. It took place in a big apartment building. Each room led somewhere, or something....
Weakend
This week was long and full of terrors. The aggression was not a problem today. I managed to get the perfect amount of sleep. I did have a moment of weakness and snap at an entire department. It ...
Drained
Is anger a mood disorder? (That was a rhetorical question) I knew how to manage my anxiety and depression. This anger I experience every morning is getting worse. All I want to do is physically h...
Hot Hot Heat
My feet are struggling to keep up with me. At work, I hit a point where I could not let my heel touch the ground. It stung. My ankles are constantly aching. I don’t know what stretches I need to ...
Search Continues
The 2014 Jeep Patriot I took for today’s test drive wasn’t too bad. The drive itself, at least. There were chips in the windshield and when I pointed them out the salesman tried to convince me th...
First World Things
It’s been such a long week and it is only Monday. Did you know? I’ve never got to choose my own vehicle. On my walk to work this morning, I wondered why this felt like such a heavy decision. The...
Decisions Decisions
I’m coming to my senses but I am still torn about what vehicle to get. I just need a vehicle for transportation. It is not a toy. The cost of the pre-owned Chargers are close to the cost of a bra...
So Close Yet So Far
My mother is involving herself in my car search which is menacing but not necessarily a bad thing. She is just looking out for me. She doesn’t want me to make a big financial mistake. I have my h...
Veritas Ascendens
My therapist gave me the missing piece. They are just thoughts. I explained that my mood disorders were missing in action for two weeks. Then they returned for two days. It made it easy to spot ...
Book Description
Things happening in my life currently